It's All Relative(53)

Popping some roast into his mouth, he smiled. He loved roast, it reminded him of lazy Sunday afternoons at his mom’s place. How did Jessie always seem to know just what to do? He never really had to tell her what he liked or what he needed. She just instinctively knew. She was so amazing.

Clearing his throat during a lull in the conversation, Kai looked up at her and said, “This is great, Jessie. Thank you.”

Jessie looked up and met his eye; her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink as she absorbed his praise. It was intoxicating. “Thank you,” she quietly replied. Glancing at her roommates, she quickly added, “I had help. Harmony made the salad.”

The lightly freckled girl grinned. Kai returned the smile but mentally kicked himself. Jessie was trying to keep some space between them by deflecting his compliment. He could try and do the same. “Well, it’s wonderful, thank you.”

April frowned as she dragged her fork over her plate. “I…offered to help,” she muttered, pouting in such an adorable way that Kai had to smile at her.

Wanting to do the right thing, the thing that his cousin had asked him to do, he fortified his needs and desires, reached his hand under the table, and rested his palm over April’s. She visibly brightened at the contact, and twisted her hand so she could lace their fingers together. Kai ignored the burning sensation of Jessie watching them and held April’s gaze. He knew Jessie couldn’t see their hands unless she looked under the table, but he still felt really horrible flirting in front of her. He’d only meant to make brief contact with April, to let her know that he wouldn’t reject her invitation later, but she’d latched onto his gesture with a firm grip. It would be rude to pull away now.

Forcing a smile, he politely told her, “I’m sure you helped in other ways.”

April giggled as she playfully bumped into his side. Kai heard Jessie sigh, but when he pulled his eyes from the Asian beauty beside him to look over at her, she was studying the remnants of food on her plate. Even though his appetite was completely gone, Kai quietly resumed eating.

After the meal, Harmony whisked the dishes away, and the foursome polished off the second bottle of wine. Relaxing back in his chair, Kai relentlessly watched Jessie. He wished he could talk to her, really make sure she was okay with this, but he didn’t see how he could get away from April now. The woman had a firm hold of his hand as she sipped her drink, and she was leaning into his side now, her cheeks flushed from the wine.

Harmony had noticed their hands under the table when she’d taken their plates. With a shake of her head, she’d given Kai a knowing grin, like she wasn’t at all surprised that April was getting what she wanted. It had taken a great deal of restraint to not tell her that he was only flirting with April because he’d been asked to. His heart wasn’t in it. Thinking of where his heart was really resting made Kai consider calling it a night.

Jessie had the same thought. Standing, she exaggerated a series of yawns and stretches. “Well, I should turn in. You’re welcome to stay, Kai, if you…”

Her voice trailed off as her new, taller angle allowed her to see Kai and April’s hands laced together. Kai had the strangest desire to rip his fingers away from April. He’d never intended to keep the contact going for so long, and now, if he yanked his hand away after being spotted by Jessie, it would be entirely too obvious why he was withdrawing. Jessie’s eyes widened as they lifted to his; she seemed heartbroken and relieved, all at once. Kai wanted to apologize, wanted to tell her that he didn’t want this…that he’d rather be holding her hand. But he knew he couldn’t say that. And Jessie knew it too, so she said nothing about the flirting. Giving him a soft smile, she responded with, “You can stay as long as you like. My home is your home.”

Her tone when she said it…well, it was the most loving thing he’d ever heard anyone say to him. Not able to take it anymore, he stood up, finally breaking the contact with April. Making a show of walking over to her in a friendly manner, he grinned as brightly as he could. “Well, again, thank you for dinner.” As he stepped in front of Jessie, his arms went around her waist. He hadn’t felt like a greeting hug was normal cousin behavior, but surely a goodnight hug wouldn’t raise suspicion.

Her arms came up, loosely at first and then exceedingly tight, almost painfully so. Angling his head away from the other two girls at the table, Kai closed his eyes and let the torrent of pain and longing fill him. Inhaling the scent of her, lavender and honey, and everything good and sweet in the world, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He felt Jessie nod, felt her body lightly shaking as she tried to contain the churning emotions that must be running rampant through her; Kai knew they were in him. Their hug was starting to get inappropriately long, so Kai forced himself to take a step back. “Goodnight, Jessie,” he said softly, hoping the ache he felt inside wasn’t evident in his voice.

He wanted nothing more than to pull her back into his arms, squeeze her tightly again, and never let her go, but he had to maintain the appearance of distance. He needed to look like he cared for her, without overly caring for her. It was an odd, fine, painful line. Slipping his hands into his back pockets, so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch her, he smiled and took another step back.

Her eyes were noticeably wet, and she had to blink several times to bring them back to even. With a smile that radiated abundant affection, she nodded. “Goodnight, Kai.” Her eyes flicked to April, who was using the opportunity to check her makeup in a mirror next to the dining room table. The sight saddened Kai for some reason; he preferred his cousin’s natural look. Her face without makeup was ten times more attractive than any cosmetic could ever hope to accomplish. She was…perfect.