It's All Relative(51)
Feeling uncomfortable and trapped, Jessie reached up for a vase, just to give her hands something to do. “Fine,” she muttered, filling the vase with the running water. “He’s attractive.”
April snorted as she unwrapped the flowers. “Attractive? He’s downright edible.” Smiling at thoughts that Jessie knew were lurid, April popped the carnations into the too-full vase. Water seeped out the sides, and Jessie sighed.
Well, she supposed her roommates being attracted to Kai was preferable to them knowing he was her one night stand. She’d suspected that April would be interested in him anyway. Shaking her head, Jessie set the flowers on the counter. Carnations were April’s favorite, really? Jessie knew for a fact that was a lie. April was a classic rose girl. It was truly the only traditional thing about her. Jessie had often heard her tell men that every other flower out there was just the rose’s sad, inferior cousin, and at the moment, Jessie empathized with the carnations.
Smiling at each other, Harmony and April started returning to Kai. Making a show of examining the roast, Jessie stayed where she was; she needed a minute to collect herself. Seconds after they disappeared, April poked her head around the corner. Giving Jessie a playful smile, she whispered, “I’m gonna ask Kai out. That okay with you?”
Jessie froze in place. She didn’t want April dating Kai, but she had absolutely no good reason to tell her friend that it wasn’t okay. She couldn’t tell April that the idea of another woman being with Kai sickened her. She couldn’t tell her that she wanted to be the only woman in his life. She couldn’t tell her that picturing Kai’s hands on April made her want to vomit. And Jessie definitely couldn’t tell her that earlier this week, a few days after having an incredible one night stand with him, Jessie had told his sleeping body that she was falling for him. And against her earlier desire to somehow halt those feelings, Jessie was afraid it was too late; she’d already fallen.
Not able to say any of that, she smiled as realistically as she could. “Yeah, sure. I don’t care.” As an afterthought, she spit out, “He’s family though, so you know…be nice.” But not too nice. Oh God…how could she stand this?
April giggled and bounded out of the room. Jessie sighed and closed her eyes; they burned with unshed tears. She had to…it was for the best.
After giving herself several long moments to slowly count to ten, Jessie straightened, lifted her head up confidently, and strode back into the living room. Her step almost faltered when she came upon April sitting as close to Kai as she could, playing with a long strand of her dark hair as she openly flirted with him. For his part, Kai only seemed to be engaged in a friendly conversation with April, not ogling her, as she wanted him to.
Kai was sitting on the edge of the couch, with April practically on his hip, so Jessie sat on the smaller couch with Harmony. Jessie’s friends politely asked Kai questions about his life and his family, and Jessie starting spacing out as she listened to the rise and fall of his voice. She studied the way his lips formed phrases, the way the edges of his mouth curved up, the way his teeth gleamed when he smiled. Jessie had a sudden vision of her tongue running along those teeth. So deeply lost in thoughts she tried to never have, she quickly found herself being swept away. She blatantly stared at him while he gestured with his hands as he told a story about work. Jessie instantly pictured those hands on her body. Biting her lip, Jessie felt her skin begin to tingle, felt her heart begin to quicken, and felt her breath begin to increase.
His tropical eyes—eyes that would rival the most fabulous oceans in all the world—flicked glances at her every now and again. When she bit her lip, they locked right onto the sensitive skin. He adjusted how he was sitting on the couch, and Jessie let herself imagine that he was reacting to her. Clearing his throat, he tore his gaze from her mouth to look over at Harmony, who’d just asked him a question.
Jessie saw him adjust his posture again, watched as he pulled his jeans down a bit, and she wondered if his clothes were getting tighter. She hoped so. Running a finger down the v-neck of her shirt, she pulled it over slightly to play with her bra strap. Harmony and April were too fascinated with Kai to notice what she was doing, but Kai’s eyes immediately snapped to her; he stuttered on his sentence. Not knowing why she was doing it, Jessie let her fingers travel over the cup of her bra, swirl around her nipple. Kai completely stopped talking and ran a hand over his jaw. His eyes flashed up to hers, and Jessie could see the desire there, burning under the surface. She had to adjust how she was sitting now, as desire surged through her, too.
Then April set her hand on his thigh. Kai jumped as he turned to look at her, and a sudden flood of horror rushed through Jessie. Jesus, she’d actually been flirting with her cousin. No, more than flirting. Seducing. Her hand slapped over her mouth, just in case her stomach decided to heave. It was so wrong, on so many levels. Jessie saw Kai’s face going through all the same conflicting emotions she was going through, as he half-listened to April talking about her job. Even though his skin hadn’t changed color, Jessie thought he looked paler.
Jessie shot to her feet, drawing everyone’s attention to her. “I’m gonna…open the wine for dinner.” A drink, that was what Jessie needed. A nice big drink.
As she sped from the room, she heard Kai say, “I’ll help you.”
Knowing that he was going to follow her into the small, private room amplified her confusion. She didn’t really want to be alone with him right now, but she couldn’t refuse his polite offer in front of her roommates. Crossing her fingers, Jessie hoped April followed them. A third party would help. Maybe. But then she heard April and Harmony begin a low conversation between themselves. They were most likely taking this opportunity to talk about Kai, and just when Jessie could have used their interference.