International Player(61)

“I said I needed time to think about it. You only mentioned it yesterday,” Noah replied, glancing at me.

“I know,” Morgan said. “I’m just impatient. Our product could do so much and partnering with you is the perfect combination.”

The auctioneer interrupted us and introduced the next lot, so we said our goodbyes and took our seats again.

“This is what I wanted to talk to you about when I called you yesterday,” Noah said as the auction rattled on around us. “But you didn’t pick up. Again. Remember?”

I’d been making myself ignore some of Noah’s calls, trying to keep some space between us. “Oh yes, sorry. I was in a meeting.”

“I wanted to get your view on Morgan’s offer. It would mean a lot of travelling. Perhaps we can go back to yours and have a drink. I really want to get your perspective.”

“Sure, later maybe.” Was this why they said to be careful what you wish for? I’d wanted a little distance from Noah, and it looked like that’s exactly what this Morgan guy was offering. If Noah was travelling a lot, he wouldn’t be able to drop by to watch Netflix or join Abigail, Rob, and me for lunch. I’d be forced to see him less. No doubt, sex with me would be less convenient, and he’d start seeing someone new. Perhaps someone he’d meet during his new role. She’d be far more suited to him—sophisticated, gorgeous, and able to accompany him to functions without him having to fear she’d say or wear the wrong thing.

This was how it was meant to be. Things between us were drawing to a natural conclusion.

I should be thrilled. Or relieved or thankful. This way I’d avoid getting in any deeper with Noah. But the way my eyes stung and my insides ached at the thought of Noah leaving—of things changing between us—made me think I was in too deep already.

“Excuse me. I need to go to the ladies’ room.” I stood and grabbed my clutch.

I kept my head down, avoiding eye contact with anyone, and headed toward the exit. I pushed at the heavy gold door of the ballroom and burst into the bright lights of the lobby and toward the loo.

I slumped on one of the buttoned, pink-velvet stools set in front of a mirror in the powder room and stared at my reflection. In a few months, I’d be one of the women Noah used to sleep with. He would have moved on to someone else, his past firmly in the past as it always was.

Where did that leave me?

In the same place that I’d been when he’d left for New York all those years ago. Except this time was worse because I’d seen it coming and still couldn’t stop it.

But at least I’d held part of myself back. I could have given in to all his requests for dinner and late-night phone calls. My boundaries and barbed wire fences could have been long abandoned. Noah and I stopping whatever it was we were doing now was a good thing. I’d see it clearly in a few weeks or months. I was so close to falling for him, but this new job was my chance to save myself from certain ruination.

After touching up my makeup and going to the loo, I made my way back out to the lobby.

“Truly?”

I glanced up and found Noah coming toward me.

“I thought maybe you were sick or something. You’ve been gone ages. You okay?”

“Yes, totally fine. Just got chatting with someone.”

“You want to leave?” he asked. “Let’s go back to yours. Relax. I really want to know what you think about me doing this ambassador thing.”

“It sounds amazing. You should definitely do it.” I tried to be decisive in my tone. This was my get-out-of-jail-free card—a positive thing. If things ended between us now, I got to walk away with my heart still intact and hopefully we’d still be friends.

He smiled but it wasn’t convincing. “You think? I don’t know.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s a lot of travelling. Of course I’ll be back a lot. Weekends and stuff. And you’ll have to come out and visit. We can still . . .”

“Be friends,” I said, hoping he’d take the hint.

“Well, yes, of course. We’ve always been friends, but I’m saying, nothing needs to change between us.”

He was oh-so-wrong. “I think it’s the right time to go back to being just friends, though.”

He frowned at me, searching my face as if he didn’t fully understand what I was saying. “What are you talking about? Did I upset you?”

I wasn’t sure if he was capable of doing anything that didn’t make me like him a little bit more. “Not at all. But this Europe thing—you should concentrate on that. Your next challenge. And like I said, I’m so grateful for all the help you’ve given me—”

He caught my arms as I went to move away. “Wait, so now you’ve met your fundraising targets, things are over between us?”

“Things?” What was it he thought we were doing? “What things? We agreed on casual. And casual ends sooner or later.”

Noah released my arms and stepped back. “You want to end things. Why? Because of the offer from Morgan? I haven’t even said yes yet.”

“But you should. It sounds like exactly the sort of challenge you relish. And I’m not asking for anything from you,” I replied. “Like you said, we’ll be friends.”

“But I want more than that. I want to be friends with you, but I like the sex too. And you can’t tell me the sex isn’t good because we both know it’s fucking fantastic.”