In The Darkness (Project Artemis #1)(33)

He wanted to tell her all those things. He wanted her to know that even though it seemed impossible, he had somehow ignored all the people around them when he pushed into her body. He’d told her to focus on his eyes because he hoped she’d see the truth in them.

That in the short time he was around her, he’d fallen in love with her.

Nick tossed the pillow across the bed and watched it roll off onto the floor. Turning to look at his phone, he saw the time.

3:46.

Three nights of not being able to sleep because his mind refused to forget what it needed to.

Three nights of regrets piling up and making him hate himself even more than he thought he could.

Her father had all but given him the green light to stay in her life in that last meeting in his office. “Persephone clearly thinks highly of you, Mr. Hanson. You two have been through something most people have no experience with. I can understand if you stay in touch. I know my daughter. You saved her life. Don’t be surprised if you now have a fan for the rest of yours. She’s that kind of loyal person.”

He’d sat there in that brown leather chair staring back at him and hating himself for the real truth of what they’d been through. No matter what the reason, he’d done something even he couldn’t think about without being overcome with self-loathing.

And if Marshall Gilmore knew, he’d likely have him killed and no one could blame him.

Yet Persephone, the very person he’d wronged so terribly, showed nothing of hate or anger toward him that night when he walked out of her father’s office feeling guiltier than he’d ever felt before. The hate he thought would forever be reflected in her eyes had disappeared, replaced by something else that made him want to think they could be in each other’s life like Marshall Gilmore had suggested.

But as soon as that hope cropped up inside him, he snuffed it out. He had to. For as much as she may have been able to see past that one act to believe in him, he couldn’t do the same for himself.

No matter how much he wanted to so he could say she was still in his life.

Grabbing the remote off the nightstand, he flipped through the channels to find something to take his mind off her. A horror flick could work. C-SPAN might bore him to sleep. That could work too.

Anything to let him forget her for at least a little while.

Channel after channel flew by with nothing worth stopping for, but then as he clicked through the news channels he saw her right there on his TV. She looked fresh and clean and as beautiful as she had that night in the garden. Her long brown hair hung in loose waves around her face, softening the sharpness of cheekbones models would kill for. Her deep brown eyes looked different now, framed with makeup to show them off, but they still gave anyone who took the time to notice the impression that when she looked at them, she saw them through a filter that made her think they were kinder than they actually were. More a reflection of her gentle nature than theirs, those eyes could make a man get lost in them.

He’d seen her only in green scrubs for all that time she was a hostage and then a light blue t-shirt and jeans that last night they spoke. Now she wore a black long sleeve dress and a gold necklace with a diamond pendant hanging from it, and in her ears sat diamond studs. Her look screamed class and money and made Nick think how poorly he fit into that world of hers after all.

Turning up the volume, he listened to her speak and knew all of the exterior so carefully created to give her that look of the upper class wasn’t who she truly was inside. No matter how much money they spent on that dress or the jewelry, when she spoke, the kindness that transcended class and wealth came through loud and clear.

The TV interviewer leaned in toward Persephone and said in a soft voice, “Miss Gilmore, tell us how you got through your ordeal. What helped you to make it through everything you had to deal with?”

Nick listened intently. One of the few conditions he’d given Marshall Gilmore before he walked out of his office was that there must be no mention of his name or his part in bringing Persephone home. Her father had assured him his name would never be released to anyone who asked, even the police and the FBI. His job required that he be nameless as much as possible.

She smiled and looked at the woman before looking directly into the camera. “I believe I had a guardian angel who watched over me. He protected me, and for that, I can never thank him enough.”

Sure she’d give a vague comment about her belief in God and strength like all people who’d been through something horrible said in interviews, he sat back against his pillow and sighed as he listened but didn’t hear anything about religion or spirituality. She simply repeated that she’d had a guardian angel who saved her. Nobody had ever referred to him as a guardian angel. He’d been called all sorts of names, but never that.

“What are your plans now, Miss Gilmore? What do you want to do most of all now that you’re back home?”

Nick knew the interviewer probably expected her to say she wanted a double cheeseburger with bacon or something equally as frivolous. That was usually the kind of thing victims of traumatic experiences said in interviews like this. It made them appear to be normal and ready to return to the regular world. He suspected Persephone had been told to give an answer like that but slightly more refined. She was, after all, the daughter of a billionaire. People could excuse her wanting something a bit more than a fast food meal on her return to daily life.