How to Save a Life(37)

I shot him a warning look as I said to Norma, “Thank you.”

Norma sniffed. “Dishes, boys.”

Which meant breakfast was over. As we all cleared our plates, I felt the daggers of Shane’s gaze in my back.

“Well, look who gets to the go the ball,” he sneered at the kitchen sink. “Our own Cinderella. Only instead of a princess waiting for you, you have a scarred up slut—”

I choked off Shane’s words simply by towering over him, cornering him against the cabinets. “You want to say that again?” I asked, deadly casual. “Go ahead, Shane. Say it again.”

“Or you’ll what?” Shane said, staring at me through wide eyes. “You’ll break my face like you did Jared? You don’t think that’s not going to bite you in the ass, Freakshow? His parents are pissed. They’re going to sue, you know. They’ll press charges.”

“Let them,” I said,

Merle slipped in between us. He pushed me back and looked about ready to clock me but Shane waved him off. He straightened his shirt over his bony, caved-in chest, and laughed darkly.

“Go ahead, Freakshow. Enjoy your little prom fantasy with Matt King’s leftovers while you can.”

He shuffled off, leaning heavily on his cane, Merle following behind like he was put on this earth to do nothing but be Shane’s muscle. Garrett appeared at my heels.

“Hey, Evan,” he said in a small voice. “I’m happy you’re going to the big dance.”

I should’ve told him to mind his own business. To protect him. But he was staring at me, his little face open and sweet, and I knelt down and hugged him.

“Thanks, buddy, I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass to you lately. I just want you to be safe.”

He laughed at ‘ass.’ “Safe from what?”

“Shane. And Merle. I don’t want them pissed at you for being nice to me.”

He looked at me like I was crazy. “You’re my brother. Of course, I’m going to be nice to you.”

He patted me on top of my head and skipped out of the pantry. Shane’s dirty words about Jo faded out, and I sort of felt like skipping too. Or flying.

Or floating on water.





Prom Night arrived and I was a nervous wreck. I laid out my dress on the bed and stared at it, my fingernail tapping my front teeth. I bought it at a department store at the mall in Haltson, not from a thrift store like I had planned. It cost me $150, which is way more than I was comfortable spending out of my travel fund.

Our travel fund, I amended silently, and had to clap a hand over my mouth to hold back a sob. Or maybe it was uncontrollable laughter bubbling up. For the first time since my mother died, I felt I was moving toward something instead of being hurdled into a black unknown.

Evan.

God, how had he happened to me?

I studied the dress and let go of worrying about how much it cost. I wanted to be beautiful for him.

I showered. Shaved everywhere. I even put perfumed lotion all over my skin, making me smell like lilacs. I had new black lace panties and matching bra, bought on sale at Victoria’s Secret. I hesitated after I put them on, looking at my reflection. Black made my pale skin more pale, but the underwear set was the sexiest thing I owned. I wanted to be that for him too. I trailed my fingers between my breasts, touching the edge of the black lace. I hoped Evan liked it, but if he didn’t…

Then he can tear it off me.

My eyes fell shut as both the thought and its visual shot through me, leaving me weak. I inhaled sharply.

“Focus, Josephine. Focus.”

I braided my hair loosely and pulled it over my left shoulder, letting a few tendrils curl down to conceal the scar. I put on more makeup than I usually did, but with more finesse than the raccoon look I had going most days. I made it lighter and prettier, trying to bring out the green in my eyes. A little blush for color, a little lip gloss Evan would kiss off immediately.

I could not stop smiling.

Finally, I slipped on the dress, struggling to pull up the zipper tab myself. The dress was black and slinky without being witchy or slutty. The skirt fell to my ankles in lacy waves and the bodice had black lace embellishment at the neckline. It didn’t look too much like a prom dress, but it looked right for me. I studied myself in the mirror when I had everything put together, and I liked what I saw.

Gerry was still gone. I had no one to take pictures, no parents waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. Then I remembered they would take pictures at the school, probably with us in front of some sort of cheesy, palm tree backdrop. But at least we’d have souvenirs. Souvenirs were also cheesy and yet, I loved it. I couldn’t wait for Evan to drive up. We had dinner reservations at a restaurant in Halston. Then the dance. And then back here…

I turned my attention to my bedroom, my stomach fluttering at what was going to transpire here tonight. I’d dug up as many candles as I could find around the house and purchased one of the scented kind during my shopping spree. I arranged them around the bed and on the bedside table. I’d gotten some guy to buy me a bottle of wine outside a liquor store, but Gerry had luckily left a few beers in the fridge. I’d give them to Evan in case he didn’t want to drink wine. He was a guy after all.

Everything was set. I knew in the deepest part of me that it was going to be everything I’d ever hoped. We’d come back here tonight. The zipper on the back of my dress, which had been such a struggle to pull up—in Evan’s fingers it would glide down in one smooth motion. We’d make the night perfect for our first time. He was a virgin, but so was I. I decided I was. Nothing came before tonight. No one mattered before Evan.