Forever You're Mine (MINE #4)(47)

Like a black widow.

With elaborate webs of lies and deceit, they never saw her coming. All part of her lifelong plan. Some people have real jobs. My mother knew how to f*ck the right men to get what she wanted.

I was born premature, courtesy of placenta Previa. My mother was on bed rest for months before she ended up having to have an emergency C-section. I was in NICU for three months after that and my mother made it a point to remind me every chance she could, how much pain and suffering she went through to have me. How much of a burden I was. And if it hadn’t been for the money, she would have aborted me.

Yep, mother of the year right there folks.

When Denton came along and showed me what it was like to be loved, it changed me. I soaked it all up. Fed off every promising word and touch like the neglected little girl I was. Then I realized I didn’t just want to take and not give.

My mother was that person.

That would never be me.

Even now, standing on her doorstep, with her face twisted in disgust, I still hoped she would someday love me. Her only daughter. Her child. “What the f*ck are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you.”

She shifted on her feet. Emotions were difficult for my mother. I never understood why. I figured whatever it was that kept her from letting love in her heart must have been pretty bad, but like a fool, I kept trying.

With a smoke filled cough, she took another drag of her cigarette. “If you’re here for your shit, I got rid of it. You’re a day late,” she said, lifting her chin to the street where a pile of black trash bags sat on the curb.

Tears stinging my eyes, I swung them back to hers. They were a dark shade of brown, nearly black.

No shame.

No regret.

Absolutely no love reflected back at me. “I’m sorry, mama.”

“Pffft, for what?”

“For whatever happened to you. Whatever it is that made you this way. I wish things were different.”

“So what, you move out for like a month and now you think you know something about life?” She fixed a hand to her hip, pushing off the door frame, wielding her lit cigarette between two fingers as she stuck it right in my face. “Well, you don’t know shit little girl. In case you forgot, you grew up in a goddamn trailer park and you got me as a mother, so life for you will always suck sweetheart, get used to it.” Anger swelled deep inside my chest, but I stomped it down. That’s what she wanted. She wanted to get me worked up so I would fight back. It made her feel good to tear me down. Because then she wouldn’t have to look inside of herself.

I chose my words carefully before I spoke, knowing this could possibly be the last time we ever spoke. “I refuse to let any of that define me. Regardless of where I come from, I know exactly who I am and where I’m going. I’m a good person…loyal and strong. I’ve loved hard and fought harder for the people who matter the most to me. Family.” I lifted my chin, digging down deep for my inner strength. “And I know how to love without fear. Something you’ll never be able to do.”

I collected a step back when she flicked her cigarette at my feet, before slamming the shitty metal door in my face.

I didn’t cry.

Not a single f*cking tear.

I’d cried enough. Tried enough. She was never going to change. Neither was I. So I didn’t cry. I held it together. All the way to the end of the street. All the way back across town. Until I got to the end of Old Mill Rd. Even after I pulled into Cannon’s driveway. But when I made it to the top step of the porch, he opened the front door, and that’s when it happened.





Love cures people-both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.

~Karl. A. Menninger





Watching the woman you love cry in your arms is the most helpless feeling in the world. What I wanted to do was drive over to her mother’s house and give that cruel bitch a piece of my mind, but that wouldn’t solve a thing. She would still be meaner than hell and I would be locked up.

Instead I did the only thing I could do. I held her tight. Told her how much I loved her and gave her every ounce of comfort I could.

“I don’t want to ever see her again.”

“Shh…you don’t have to baby. Never.”

“How can a parent treat their child like they are nothing? I’ll never understand it.”

“Me neither.”

“You’re so lucky. Your parents are amazing. They love you so much.” She lifted her head from my chest, wiping her nose with a tissue. “You better go see them more often.” I smiled, wiping her smudged mascara from beneath her eyes, my heart warming in my chest. “I mean it, Cannon. You don’t know how lucky you are to have them. I would give anything to have that.”

“You do have that.”

Her head fell to my chest with a small sob. “I love you so much, Cannon.”

I scooted down the bed further, bringing my eyes level with hers. Cupping her face, I kissed each cheek, feeling the heat of her skin beneath my lips.

“Do you know how special you are?”

“I’m nobody special, Cannon. I am who I am, that’s all I’ll ever be.”

“Not to me. To me you’ll always be the girl who stole my heart. The one who invaded my dark, f*cked up soul with all your beautiful and perfect light.”