Finding Carly (SEAL Team Hawaii #5)(50)

Jag growled low in his throat. “What a guy decides to do is never a woman’s fault. We all have free will. One thing I hate hearing is when someone blames a woman for being assaulted because of the clothes she wore, or because of something she said, or the way she acted. A guy doesn’t get a free pass because he can’t control his own lust or anger around a woman.”

“Yeah,” Carly agreed. “Shawn had already begun to belittle me, made me feel incredibly na?ve and stupid compared to him. Thank goodness I never moved in with him. I totally get why people stay with abusive partners though. It was incredibly hard to break up with him, even though I had my own bank account and place to live. If I had no place to go and no money to move, or if we had children, I can imagine it would’ve been next to impossible.”

Jag nodded. “That’s one of the reasons I wholeheartedly support Food For All. A number of their patrons are single parents who’ve left abusive relationships.”

“Same. Speaking of which, there’s a big catered thing tomorrow at Duke’s. Some company is bringing in all their employees. They rented out the entire restaurant for two hours. I assume there’s going to be a lot of leftover food, so I volunteered us to bring it to Food For All. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Jag told her. Then he asked something that had been nagging at him. “Now that you’ve been here a while…you ever think about moving back to the mainland?”

“No way,” Carly said. “Yes, there are a lot of bad memories here, not to mention I keep running into Shawn’s friends and that sucks, but I love Hawaii. I love the energy, the sunshine, the people. I can’t imagine going back to Illinois and the cold winters. What about you? Will the Navy be moving you anytime soon?”

He could hear the concern in her voice.

“It’s always a possibility,” he said honestly. “The government can do whatever they want, no matter what they’ve promised. But when the team agreed to come out here, one of the stipulations was that we’d be here for at least five years. That’s an eternity in the military.”

“Good,” Carly said.

“Not to change the subject, but how are you doing with everything, angel?” Jag asked. “Honestly. There have been a lot of changes in your life recently, and it has to be a little overwhelming.”

Carly sighed. “It is. But I’m actually surprised at how well I’m coping. I mean, at first, stepping foot outside my apartment seemed like the hardest thing in the world, and now I’m working again, and even seeing Shawn’s friends hasn’t sent me back to the terrified blob I was not too long ago.” She looked up at him. “I have you to thank.”

Jag shook his head. “No, you don’t. It’s all you.”

She laughed in disbelief. “Um, no. If it was up to me, I’d still be cowering in my apartment. You make me feel braver, Jag. Just by being here. Sometimes when I get scared, I think about what you’d tell me to do, and it gives me the courage to get through whatever it is I’m struggling with.”

“I think you’re giving me more credit than you should,” Jag told her. “But I’ll take it if it means you’ll continue to blossom like you have.”

Her cheeks turned pink. “Did Elizabeth really make it through SEAL Hell Week?”

“Yes.”

“She’s amazing. And kind of scary,” Carly admitted. “But she’s inspiring and has really given me a lot to think about when it comes to personal safety. Now when I’m out at the store, or even in the car with Kenna headed to Duke’s, I think about what I’d do if something happened. I’m more aware of my surroundings.”

“That’s great, angel. That’s exactly what I wanted you to get out of the sessions with her. Yes, knowing how to break a hold or where to punch and hit someone so you can get away from them is important, but it’s also just as vital to be able to recognize danger before it can touch you.”

“I didn’t notice it as much before, but now I can see that’s what you do all the time. You’re constantly on the lookout for trouble.”

“Does that bother you?” Jag asked.

“Not at all. It makes me feel even more safe when I’m with you.”

Jag stretched out and rolled them until Carly was under him. He propped himself up on an elbow so he didn’t crush her. “You will always be safe with me. You can also talk to me about anything. Anything, Carly. If you’re scared, nervous, happy, excited, or any other emotion. I will listen without judgement. Okay?”

Carly stared up at him and nodded. “All right. And you know the same applies to me, right? I know you can’t talk about specifics with your job, but if you’re having trouble dealing with something that happened on a mission, I’ll listen. I won’t judge you for anything that you’ve done, or not done.”

Her words sank into his soul, filling in the cracks that had formed so long ago. He’d never in his life felt as if he had someone he could be completely honest with. Not his judgmental father, not his classmates, not even his SEAL teammates. And not because he didn’t trust them with his life, but because he didn’t think they’d understand what he’d survived.

But Carly would. She wouldn’t judge him, would probably get extremely pissed off on his behalf.