Finding Carly (SEAL Team Hawaii #5)(49)

He liked the defensiveness in her tone a little too much. He hadn’t had anyone who’d really stood up for him growing up. If something happened at school, his dad had just told him to suck it up and deal.

“He wanted me to go into the Marines,” Jag said. “His father was a Marine, and to him, that’s the best branch of the Armed Forces. He told me more than once that the Navy was for wimps.”

“Oh, good Lord,” Carly said with a shake of her head. “He’s an idiot.”

Jag couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’m serious,” she huffed. “For the record, Jag, I think you’re incredible. And you’re more of a man’s man than anyone I’ve ever met. It has nothing to do with guzzling beer and sitting on a couch and watching football. It’s about more important things. You’re protective and bossy, which are both traits I associate with men—sorry, but it’s true. More than that, you pay attention and listen to what’s going on around you. You take everything in, then act if needed.

“Like when you dropped me off at Food For All last week, and Lexie was carrying on about the spiderwebs in the corners of the ceiling, complaining that she couldn’t reach them and was genuinely afraid to walk under them because she thought a spider was going to fall on her head. Elodie and Ashlyn made fun of her, and even I thought it was a little funny. But when you came back to pick me up, you brought a ladder and you cleared every single spiderweb.

“Every time we walk from the parking lot to Food For All, you take the outside of the sidewalk. You make me stay in the car while you come around and open my door. And I know that’s not just you being polite; you’re checking out the area, looking for anyone or anything you think might be a danger to me. You texted me almost every day when I was too scared to leave my apartment, and you came over when I needed you.

“To me, that’s being a man’s man. Being helpful. Protective. Considerate. Perceptive. Most men wouldn’t have stuck with me for so long when I was hiding out. Not only that, but you haven’t pushed yourself on me sexually. Haven’t asked for more than I’m ready to give. Not once have you made me feel as if I’m just another notch on your bedpost. I know what society believes is appropriate behavior for a guy, but I’m very happy that you’re exactly the way you are.”

Jag couldn’t take his gaze from the woman staring back at him with wide eyes. She was practically winded by the time she’d finished having her say, and Jag knew he’d remember this moment for the rest of his life.

He’d worked hard to be the man he was now. It wasn’t always easy, especially with his father constantly judging every decision he made, but Carly’s words made everything he’d done in his life worthwhile.

“Sorry,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “I just think it’s ridiculous that you somehow think you don’t measure up to anyone’s idea of what’s masculine and what isn’t.”

“I…” Jag stopped and cleared his throat before he could continue. “Thank you.”

She nodded and snuggled closer. “Besides, you’re also a hell of a good kisser. That has to count toward manliness too.”

Jag couldn’t stop the bark of laughter that burst out of him.

Carly grinned. “I like you smiling and laughing a lot more than you being all introspective and finding yourself wanting,” she told him.

“Me too,” he agreed. “Tell me more about yourself,” he ordered.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

She laughed once more. “Can you maybe narrow it down a bit?”

“How’d you end up in Hawaii?” he asked with a small grin.

“After I got my associate degree, I didn’t really want to spend another two years in school. I wasn’t a great student, got mostly B’s and C’s, and decided I wanted to do something different. Something exciting. At least more exciting than staying in my hometown in Illinois. I remembered the pictures one of my friends in high school showed me of a vacation she took out here, and I was so jealous. So on a whim, I bought a one-way ticket to Honolulu. I was young, and kinda dumb, and came out here without a plan. I had a thousand bucks that I’d saved up and was full of hopes and dreams.

“The first two years were great. I stayed in a hostel downtown at first, met some cool people, couch surfed for a while before settling down in a very crappy studio apartment.” Carly chuckled. “I can’t believe how great I thought it was. I worked a few waitressing jobs, then got the gig at Duke’s. I made enough to trade in the studio apartment for the one I currently have.”

She got quiet, and Jag knew what was coming next. “Then you met Shawn.”

“Yeah. He wasn’t always an asshole,” she said a little defensively. “At first he was kind, and quite the gentleman. He definitely wooed me. I was leery at first, because he was so much older than me…and I’d dated some older guys. But eventually he won me over. Then he slowly began to change, and I didn’t realize it at first. It was little things here and there, that I could easily blow off because everything else about him seemed so great.

“I feel so stupid for staying with him after the first time he manhandled me. He apologized profusely and said it would never happen again. Said that if I tried harder not to make him mad, he’d be able to control himself in the future. He made me think it was my fault he’d shoved me against the wall so hard, I knocked my head against the plaster and had a headache for three days.”