Fighting the Flames (Firefighter Romance #1)(37)

“Oh my God!” Jess cupped her hand over her mouth. “You saved it?”

“Yes, I saved it,” he snapped, then softened his voice. “It was the only tangible thing I had left of you, Jess.” He set the note on the coffee table and approached her, framing her face with his hands. “That night when I asked you to move in with me, when I told you I loved you, I meant it. I still do.”

She gasped and shook her head. “Please, Ryan, don’t... I... I just need some time to figure things out.”

Ryan dropped his hands to his sides. “There’s nothing to figure out, Jess. I love you, and either you want to be with me or you don’t.”

Jess inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly. “I don’t,” she whispered.

A knife to his heart would’ve hurt less. He backed away from her, the meaning of her words sinking in with each step he took. So that was it. She didn’t want him and there was nothing he could do about it. “I knew it was a mistake trying to be your friend.” Without another word, he walked out of her house and her life. He got halfway home when he realized he wasn’t wearing any shoes. He’d left them in her house. “Son of a bitch!” He kicked at the ground and stormed home.


He went straight to the bathroom, stripped out of his clothes, and climbed into the shower. What the f*ck just happened? Yesterday, last night, it had all gone so well. He truly believed they’d reconnected, that she was finally coming around and wanted to be with him. That woman was screwing with his mind like it was a national pastime. Enough was enough. If she didn’t want to be with him, fine. He didn’t need her.

He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Going to the station and beating on some equipment was tempting, but he was physically and emotionally exhausted. A nap, that’s what he needed. Unconsciousness. He flopped down on the bed, covered his face with a pillow, and was sound asleep within minutes.

*****

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Ryan jolted awake. It was dark inside his room. He’d sworn it was daylight when he’d fallen asleep. The bedside clock read nine-fifty-two. Holy shit! He really had been tired.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“I’m coming!” he shouted, getting off the bed and adjusting the towel around his waist. He shuffled to the door and swung it open with annoyance. He had no idea who he expected to see, but he sure as hell hadn’t expected her.

“Hey, Ry.” She smiled. “Looks like I caught you at just the right time.” It was Melissa, his most recent ex, trailed her finger down his chest.

Ryan moved out of her reach. “What do you want?” Melissa was the last person in the world he wanted to see. Ending things with her had been the best thing he’d done. Too bad she didn’t think so. Every week or so, she’d show up at his door begging him for another chance. Each time he’d tell her no. Sometimes she’d show up and try to seduce him. He was guilty of giving in to her advances a few times. He had no excuse. He was a guy. It had been quite a while since the last time she’d shown up though.

“I thought maybe we could have a have a little bit of fun.” She stepped inside and put her arms around his neck. “You know, like we used to?”

He tried to remove her hands and tell her to leave, but before he had the chance, Melissa pressed her lips to his. Ryan pulled away, opening his mouth to protest. She used the opportunity to pull him back and stick her tongue in his mouth.

“Ryan? Are you here? We need to—” Jess stopped midsentence, her petite frame standing in the open door. “I, uh, I’m... sorry, I didn’t mean to...” She turned on her heel and left.

“Damn it!” Ryan disengaged Melissa’s hands from the back of his neck and pushed her away. He didn’t bother saying anything to her. Instead, he ran after Jess. He really wished he was wearing pants; running in a towel wasn’t easy. “Jess!” He caught up to her as she reached her front porch. “I can explain.”

Jess spun around and faced him. The amount of pain he saw in her eyes nearly brought him to his knees. Her bottom lip trembled and tears fell from her eyes. “You don’t owe me any explanations, Ryan.”

“That woman, she’s an ex-girlfriend. I broke up with her a couple of months ago and—”

“It doesn’t matter.” She shrugged and wiped away a few stray tears.

“It matters to me, Jess.” He clutched her upper arms and peered into her eyes. “Let me explain.” He knew her experience with men, what Derrick had done to her, and how she didn’t trust anyone. The idea that she would see him like all the other men in her life sickened him.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine. Explain.”

Rain drops fell from the sky, first in sporadic little splatters and then suddenly in a deluge, pouring over them like a waterfall, a long streak of lightning sprinting across the sky. Ryan wouldn’t be deterred though. He was going to make her understand. “She’s an ex-girlfriend. I broke up with her and she’s not taking it so well. She shows up on occasion, and she can be a bit aggressive at times.”

“And how do you explain how you were kissing her back?”

“I wasn’t,” he said firmly. Jessie simply stared at him, disbelief clouding her brown eyes. Ryan released her arms and ran a hand through his hair. “Shit, Jess. You have to believe me. I have no reason to lie to you.”