Fighting the Flames (Firefighter Romance #1)(34)

“I proposed to her and she said no, claiming she didn’t want to get married just because we were having a baby. So we bought a house together. I supported her during the pregnancy, paid all of her medical bills.” He paused as if lost in thought.

Jessie waited for him to continue. She remained silent despite the myriad of questions she wanted to ask.

“The baby was born, a little girl named Louisa. She was beautiful, so tiny and perfect. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I loved that little girl.”

She risked a look at his face and saw little tears in the corners of his eyes. She had never seen Ryan cry, and she was pretty sure she didn’t want to. Rolling to her side, she put her head on his chest and draped her arm across his stomach. She knew it was wrong, but she didn’t care at the moment. Ryan put an arm around her, his fingers trailing up and down her arm.

“I asked Vikki to marry me again, and she said no again. I was furious. We fought about it for days. She threatened to take Louisa and disappear if I didn’t drop it. So I dropped it. Things weren’t the same after that. I had a lot of resentment toward her, and she knew it. She was constantly picking fights with me. During a particularly bad argument, she told me I wasn’t Louisa’s father.”

“Oh my God!” Jessie gasped before she could stop herself.

Ryan held her tighter to him and kissed the top of her head. “At first, I dismissed it as something she said just to hurt me, but it nagged me until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I had a DNA test done. Turns out she hadn’t been just trying to hurt me. I wasn’t Louisa’s dad.”

Jessie folded her hands on his chest and rested her chin on them so that she could look at him. It broke her heart to see him so sad, to see him on the verge of tears. “I’m so sorry, Ryan.”

“When I had the results, I confronted her. She tried to deny it. She begged me to give her a chance, to forgive her. I was too damn angry. When none of that worked, she tried to use Louisa against me, saying it wasn’t fair to her to grow up without a father. I really lost it then.”

Ryan was silent for what felt like an eternity. “What happened?” she asked softly.

“I kicked her and Louisa out of the house. I told Vikki I never wanted to see her or the baby ever again. I knew she would always just use Louisa against me like she’d already tried to—I was just so mad that she lied to me for so long. I left that same day for the beach with instructions that they were to be gone when I got back. I didn’t intend on staying at the beach for the whole summer, but then I met you.” He tried to smile and kissed her forehead. “At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I’m not so sure anymore. There are so many nights I lay awake and wonder where Louisa is, if she’s okay, what she looks like. She may not be mine biologically, but I was the only dad she knew.”

For the second time in a matter of minutes, Jessie’s heart broke for him. She scooted up the length of his body and planted her lips firmly against his. The nagging voice in the back of her mind told her not to do this, not to go down this road with him, but she ignored it. At that moment, all she wanted was to be with Ryan, to feel him and make love to him. She knew it was something they both wanted and needed.


Ryan speared his hand into her hair and held her still, stealing control of the kiss as he wrapped his other arm around her waist and brought her on top of him. She obliged and straddled him. The feel of his body beneath hers, of his jean-clad erection between her legs, was glorious. It had been less than a week since they’d been together like this, but it felt like forever. She pushed her hips down on him, grinding herself on his crotch.

“Jess, baby,” he groaned, lifting his hips and meeting her as she continued to grind on him. “I need you so much.” Ryan hugged her, and in one swift movement, he rolled her over so that she was now beneath him.

“Yes.” She arched her body into his, her hands slipping under his shirt, tugging at it until it was off. “I need you, too,” she said as she claimed his lips again. He removed her shirt and bra, his hand going straight to her breast. His touch lit her on fire and she was writhing beneath him, encouraging him.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he whispered between kisses that he trailed down her body.

He was giving her a way out. She should take it. Instead, she said, “Yes. I want this. I want you.”

Ryan rid her of her clothes in record time and she lay before him, her naked body a feast for his eyes. And he definitely feasted. Jessie felt warm under his gaze. He stood beside the bed and removed his jeans, leaving him naked as well. Jessie smiled and crooked her finger at him, motioning for him to come to her. He climbed on the bed and she sat up, pushing on his chest until he was flat on his back. She licked her lips and lowered her head until her mouth was poised above his erection. Looking at him under her lashes, she smiled then licked the head, swirling her tongue around the tip and drawing him into her mouth.

“Yes,” he hissed on a sharp intake of breath. Ryan gathered her hair and held it away from her face. She felt his gaze on her as she sucked and licked and bobbed his cock. He filled her mouth completely. She’d forgotten how good he tasted: hot, a perfect mixture of saltiness and sweetness, and totally masculine.

“Mmm.” She took him all the way to the back of her throat before slowly dragging her lips up his shaft.