Fighting Redemption(42)

“And?”

Ryan turned and looked at her, letting out a deep shaky breath. “My family fell apart when I was seven and that was because of me. You, Julie, Mike. You’re the only family I have and I don’t want to lose that.”

“What happened when you were seven, Ryan?”

Returning his gaze to the window, he swallowed, closing his eyes against the fear and guilt. “I can’t talk about it.”

The cab pulled up in front of the cottage, and he let go of her hand, reaching for his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. When Fin started handing over notes to the cab driver, he snagged her wrist. “I got this, baby.”

“But Ryan—”

He looked at her and she paused. Satisfied, he paid the driver and slid out of the car. Reaching back in, he held out his hand to Fin. She took it and climbed out behind him. The cab’s bright red tail lights disappeared into the distance as they walked up the path towards the cottage.

Fin buried her hand inside her purse, rummaging around for the key to the front door.

“Crap,” she muttered when her bag fell to the ground.

They both bent over at the same time to retrieve it, and Fin cracked her nose on his forehead.

“Ow!” she wailed.

Straightening up and taking her purse in his hand, Ryan grabbed hold of her elbow, steadying her as he checked the damage. “Dammit, I can’t see. Why didn’t you leave the porch light on?”

“Because I like a bit of a challenge,” she retorted. “Trying to fit keys in locks in the dark while drunk is the ultimate test of agility.”

Ryan repressed a smile in an effort to look stern, not that she could probably see in the dark anyway. “Well you failed, smartass.”

“I am a smartass. Don’t you like nerds, Ryan?”

“Only drunk ones,” he teased as he rummaged around in her purse. “Jesus, Fin. How do you find anything in here?”

Fin tugged on it. “Give it here. You’re having a man’s look.”

“Well you can’t do much better. You’re blind,” he pointed out.

She paused to glare at him. “I only need glasses to read.”

He waved a hand in front of her face. “Can you see this?”

Laughter bubbled out of her as she snatched the purse out of his hands. “Fine. We can just camp out here. Wait for dawn so we can see properly.”

“I’m not sleeping on the f*cking porch.”

“Why not? I’m sure you’ve slept in worse places.”

He had. Many nights had been spent camped out on the dirt during an exercise or patrol. Interrogation training had been the worst. He’d slept bound—hands tied behind his back and ankles shackled—and after being dragged naked through mud and worse, ice cold water had been tossed over him every half an hour to keep him awake. But f*ck, he wasn’t training, or at war. He was with Fin. That deserved a cosy bed and warm, naked skin.

Ryan’s eyes dropped to her mouth. Visions of picking her up, slamming her back into the wall and kissing those lush lips hit him hard. He sucked in a quick breath when all the blood in his body headed south. Suddenly getting inside was becoming more urgent. He snatched at her purse at the same time she tugged it backwards, and it went flying across the lawn, the contents scattering in what felt like slow motion to all four corners of Hell. Somewhere out there in the dark was the key, and he needed inside, and not just the house.

“Well, now you’ve done it,” Fin announced.

“Fuck.” Ryan peered out onto the front lawn. “Don’t you have a spare hidden somewhere?”

Fin fisted her hands on her hips. “I used to put a key above the door ledge until Jake found out.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “He flipped out and threatened to shave off Crookshanks’ fur if I did it again. I guess he was worried about someone finding it and getting inside while he wasn’t around. I guess it wasn’t the best spot to hide a key, but I never got around to finding another spot.”

“No shit it wasn’t the best spot,” he mumbled before striding over to where her purse landed and getting down on his knees, started the search. “I bet he’s laughing at us right now.”

Fin knelt beside him, her thigh brushing against his. “You think so?” she asked softly.

“Of course. I hear him laughing at me all the time.” He stopped grabbing at the random objects Fin obviously felt were necessary for a night out and looked at her, his chest aching. “I’m sure I even hear him talking to me.”

“You too?”

Ryan licked his lips. “You … I’m not the only one going crazy then?”

“Well …” she drawled.

He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “What does he say to you, Fin?”

Fin picked up a blade of grass and began shredding it carefully. “Okay, um … the other day I was backing out of the car park at work and almost got side swiped by a delivery truck. Then it was like Jake was sitting in the passenger seat, yelling at me to get rid of my little quote-unquote ‘earth saving little buzz box and buy a goddamn 4WD with bullbars.’”

“Well, that does sound like Jake, and he does have a point. You’re not the best driver. You’d be safer driving a bigger car.”