Fighting Redemption(47)

He didn’t answer because he knew how hard it was. If he had to sit back and let her put her own life in the same danger it would kill him.

“Do you?” she shouted.

“I’m sorry,” was his answer, and he watched her suddenly deflate.

“I won’t ask you to promise,” she said wearily. “I just want you to know that having to watch you leave is going to be one of the hardest things I ever have to do.”

Ryan pulled her around the table and into the circle of his arms. “Every piece of me is in here.” He placed his palm flat on her chest, feeling her heart beat hard and steady beneath his fingers. He closed his eyes briefly at the beauty of it. “My breath, my heart, my life. I won’t ever leave you if you keep that safe inside of you.”

“Damn you, Ryan,” she whispered fiercely.

His eyes flew open as she twined her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her lips. “What?” he breathed.

“I want to be angry with you, but you make it difficult.”

Growling, Ryan picked her up in his arms. Carrying her into the living room, he leaned down and placed her on the couch. His heart hammering, he looked down at the woman he’d loved for as long as he could remember. Fin was so extraordinary, so smart, so utterly sweet, he could hardly believe that she was his as much as he was hers. She owned him. Whenever he breathed her in, she took away his pain. No one else could ever do that.

“Am I enough, Ryan?”

Spreading her legs, Ryan knelt between them and put his hands on her thighs. “What do you mean?”

Her eyes were big, bottomless pools of green as she met his gaze. “For you to want to wake up in the morning?”

His body tensed.

“You told me you always spoke the truth to me,” she continued.

Ryan dragged his hands up her thighs and squeezed. “I thought I’d lost you, Fin. What Ian said made sense to me. That I’m a reminder of what happened to Jake and that I should leave you alone. The very idea of having to let you go for you to get over losing Jake … that was how it felt. Just a big, black empty space.”

“You believed me, didn’t you? When I told you it wasn’t true. This morning, when I rolled over and you were right there beside me—”

“Don’t remind me of what I did.”

“Okay,” she replied simply. “But you being there takes away so much of the hurt. I need you with me. Mum and Dad need you too.”

How could he face Mike and Julie and knowing they would have preferred it was him that died rather than Jake? What if they blamed him? He couldn’t live through that again.

Ryan shook his head. “Not tonight, Fin. I’ll go get my things while you’re at dinner, okay? Today I have you all to myself.” His gaze dropped to her mouth. “So what are we going to do?”





She gave up pressuring Ryan about seeing her parents. For now. Instead, she pretended to give serious thought to his question. “Well,” she drawled. “The lawn needs mowing and my veggie garden needs weeding. You could do that while I do some work.”

Ryan sat back on his heels, his brows raised.

“And Jake promised he’d repaint the fence at some stage too, so that needs to be done. Maybe I should write a list?”

He stood up and started walking away.

“Hey!” she called out. “Where are you going?”

Ryan turned and smirking, slowly peeled his zipper downwards. Fin’s eyes dropped, her breath catching as he reached in and fisted himself in his hand. “Seems you have a lot of work you need me to do. I’ll just quickly go take care of this so I can get started.”

“Ryan!”

He moved swiftly into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

“Damn the man,” she muttered. Scooting off the couch, she got up and raced after him. Grabbing the handle, she flung the door wide open and gasped.

Ryan was already naked and standing there facing her. His arms were folded and a smirk still lingered on his face. “Took you long enough.”

Fin pursed her lips to fight the grin. “Oh sorry, Ryan. I didn’t realise you were in here.” She peeled off her top and shimmied out of her sweatpants and panties, leaving her as bare as he was. His eyes ignited as they roamed over her. “I just came in to brush my teeth, but I’ll come back when bathroom rush hour is over.”

She turned and barely took a step before Ryan wrapped his arms around her and yanked her into him. The hard length of him pressed into her spine when he leaned into her ear and whispered, “Where do you think you’re going? Don’t you have to brush your teeth?”

Fin licked her lips. “Maybe.”

Ryan picked her up and set her in front of the sink. She met his eyes in the mirror as he trailed his hand down her spine and over the curve of her ass. “Don’t let me stop you.”

She said something in reply, but she wasn’t sure what. It came out a jumbled mess as her body slumped against him.

“Fin?”

Ryan’s arms wrapped around her ribs, holding her up.

“Baby?”

Fin blinked, her pulse racing as the world faded out again.





Ryan pulled his car to a stop outside the single-story red brick home and stared, his face impassive. Inside, his stomach was churning from the memories of a house and a family he hadn’t seen for ten years. It hadn’t changed. It just looked a little older and a little sadder than what he remembered.