Falling Down(108)

I nod.
"You won't need to put any products in other than this gel," he tells me handing me a tube of goop, "unless you're going to be doing anything professional which we'll style for you anyway."
"Don't you even think of paying him," Carmen says. "Lucy pays us way too much as it is."
"You're valuable to her. She pays you what she thinks your worth."
"She's such a great lady," Simone says smiling.
"Yeah, and she's mine," I say with a wink.
"When are you going to pop the question?" Spenser asks.
I freeze. "What?"
"You know, propose."
"We just moved in together. I hadn't even thought about that. I doubt Lucy'd go for that now anyway."
"You're probably right. I don't think she's ready for that. She's pretty skittish. But if I was you, I'd get prepared, find a ring just so you have it in case one day you feel a sudden urge to ask her to be your wife."
"Oh, that's so romantic," Carmen says.
I start to break out in a sweat. I've gotta get out of here.
"I'm heading to the gym. See you later."
I swear I hear Spenser laugh as I book it out of there. He's probably jacking me around but he's right. Fuck. I mean, f*cking hell, she's such a huge part of my life now. I love waking up with her and falling asleep with her. We spend as much time together as we can and I never get tired of her being around. She's smart, funny, and so f*cking talented. I do miss her when she's not around, like now when she's practicing and rewriting notes while I'm getting my hair cut and lifting weights. I've only been away from her for an hour, if that, and I've done nothing but think about her. What the f*ck?
I'm in love with her.
I plop down on the weight bench, stunned. When the hell did I fall in love with her?
"Nice hair."
"Thanks."
"Dude, what's going on?" Ben asks.
"Nothing."
"Bullshit. You've got some f*cked up look on your face."
I rub my hands over my face.
"Shit," I say looking at Ben. We've never really had to talk to each other, somehow we've been able to communicate with just a look and right now he got my message as he sports a shit-eating grin.
"Finally."
"What?" I ask.
"You finally figured it out."
"What are you talking about?"
"You've been hooked on Lucy since you first f*cking met her in Chicago, but when you heard her singing and saw her standing on that fake stage, you were sunk pal."
"Well, f*ck. You didn't think to mention that to me?"
Ben laughs. "Would you have believed me if I had?"
"Probably not."
He nods and we sit in silence for a few minutes.
"What are you going to do about it?"
"I don't f*cking know. Spenser dropped a not-so-subtle hint about asking Lucy to marry me. What the f*ck? Marriage. I don't think we're ready for that. I know she's not for sure and I don't think I am either."
"Nah, don't rush it, bro."
"Yeah. Think I should find a ring just in case?"
Ben laughs. "I think it might be a good idea."
"Yeah, probably."
"You should probably tell her you love her first then go from there but, dude, take it slow."
I nod. "How do I tell her? I mean, f*ck." I stand up and start pacing.
Ben laughs.
"I'm glad you find this funny, f*cker."
"Sorry, I don't mean to laugh you just look like you're in a bit of shock."
"Hell yeah I am. I just sat here and realized I'm in love with Luciana Russo, academy award winning actress, god damn. Lead singer of Blush. She's so far out of my league it's not even funny."