Falling Down(104)

Jesse doesn't say anything but I really don't expect him to. I was asking that question of myself and my answer is yes. It is ridiculous.
"He became demanding of my time, jealous of my costar--"
"Because of the intimate scenes?"
"Uh, yeah. There was a lot of kissing and hugging, arms around one another, holding hands, and four sex scenes."
Jesse nods. "I remember the movie."
"It's not at all intimate when you're on set. There are people everywhere, some milling around doing their jobs, others just standing or sitting watching. You have to understand, when I'm playing a part, I do tend to lose myself in the character when the cameras are rolling. It's the only way I know. But it's the character, not Lucy, if you can understand that?"
"It's what makes you so good at what you do."
I shrug. "I guess. All I know is he assumed that I was enjoying all the attention my character received from my costar. Let's just call him H. You know who he is but I don't want to drag his name through this horror story."
"Horror," Jesse repeats and I nod.
"So, it was no secret that H and I got along well, we were friends which makes working together that much easier, you know? And, of course, he's a beautiful man, inside and out, so, yeah, there was attraction there--superficial attraction. It was no hardship kissing him," I say with a small smile.
Jesse grunts. "I take it he didn't like that."
"No. He didn't. He became possessive, demanding of my time and--"
"And?" Jesse prompts when I pause.
I lift my eyes to meet his. "And," I whisper, "demanding of my body."
Jesse hisses out a breath.
"The first time--"
"The first time?" Jesse nearly yells.
"Shhh. They'll hear you and this isn't public knowledge." I sigh. "That was a shitty thing to say. They're not public, they're family but I'm not comfortable revealing this part of my life."
"I understand. But, God, Lucy," he rubs his hands up and down my arms.
"Let me just get this all out. I'd had a sex scene with H that day and it was one where we stripped completely down. Nothing showed as they covered my breasts and--" I sigh. "I just put a robe on after we were done shooting for the day, once we got the scene just right. It didn't help that it took a few takes so they could get multiple angles for editing and all that."
"He was on set? Watching?"
I nod. "It didn't faze me because I became Libby and H became David. When they call action, Luciana Russo doesn't exist on that set. I am whoever I'm scripted to be. When I headed back to my trailer, Ian followed along. I knew he was angry. H and I were all over each other even though it was just work."
"But he didn't see it that way."
"No. I explained it was the same as it was for him but he used my friendship with H against me, saying we were too close and if I wanted to be f*cked, he'd show me how a real man did it. I'm sure you can imagine what came next."
He just gives one sharp nod.
"He left bruises on my body that wardrobe noticed when I was changing one day. They knew what happened but I didn't admit anything. I wanted to just forget it happened. I mean, it was my fault, right? At least that's what I thought then. I tried to break things off with him, but he begged and pleaded, apologized to me and young, na?ve Lucy reluctantly agreed to try. Needless to say, the good guy didn't last long. Then when I wanted to do something, how dare I ask, shouldn't that be up to him because I'd been off doing whatever all day and he was bored. He should be able to make the plans. I didn't want to argue about it, so I agreed. He became so controlling. It got so bad he wouldn't let me call my mom when I was off set because that was his time with me. A week later we had another sex scene."