Falling Down(105)

"God, Lucy."
I close my eyes and snuggle into his chest, his arms wrapping tighter around me. "I hate telling this part. It's… just hard. The minute we got to the trailer, he shoved me so hard I fell to the floor. I hit my head on the edge of a cabinet and my head started bleeding. He grabbed my arm hard and jerked me up then he took that forearm and slammed it over the edge of the kitchen table over and over, breaking both bones."
"Motherf*cker."
"I tried yelling for help, knowing that the crew would be around soon because we'd quit for the day but he took the belt of my robe and gagged me. Then he raped me, brutally. Not once because that's not enough humiliation. Twice wasn't enough. He had to do it a third time, only this time--"
"Don't. I know what you're going to say."
At this point, I'm numb. "Why not? It's what happened. He sodomized me. He didn't care that I wasn't aroused at all, there was no prep. He went in dry each time and tore me so much, the pain from it got so bad I passed out. I guess that was a blessing. Anyway, the director, Mel, saw Ian coming out of my trailer with blood on his shirt. Ian didn't even notice it was there. He thought he was going to just walk off. He nearly did." I laugh mirthlessly.
"It took them some time to restrain him, so I laid there unconscious for who knows how long, bleeding all over the place, before they called the paramedics. I woke up in the hospital three days later with a broken arm, seven stitches in my head, and I don't know what they all did to fix the damage he'd done down... there. Apparently I'd lost a lot of blood. My mom flew up immediately. I worried about pregnancy because the prick didn't bother to wear a condom. I mean, that was good for DNA, but shit. I didn't want to be pregnant from that. Well, they had administered the morning after pill with my mom's consent. I'm not sure how. They must have shoved it down my throat or something since I was unconscious. I had to undergo STD and HIV testing on a regular basis for the next couple years but I still go through both every six months just because. I never quite recovered fully from that. I don't make demands of anyone and haven't since then. I tease being bossy but--" I shrug.
Jesse nods. "I'm so sorry this happened to you," he hugs me tight to him. "How did that not get leaked to the press?"
"There were only a handful of us on set that day because it was just the sex scene, and we were filming in Canada so not much press to worry about since the press that was there was following the other actors around on their day off. It was before I was popular."
"God," Jesse says blowing out a breath.
"What is it?"
"I've been so rough with you."
"Don't do that, Jesse. You don't hurt me and if I had complaints about that, I guarantee you'd hear about it. I'm pretty sure you can tell I enjoy it. Remember the screaming?" I ask with a smile and he chuckles.
"I don't want you to treat me differently, Jesse. It was a long time ago. The only thing that still lingers is--my attitude is different, as you said. I'm passive and don't make demands or ask for things I'm not sure I have a right to. I'm afraid to," I whisper.
There's a knock on the patio door and I look over.
"Can we come out a minute?" Cage asks.
"Sure." I was thinking Cage and Sera but out comes everyone.
"Mama and daddy took off," Sera tells me, her expression soft, worried. "She'd like you to call her later."
"Okay. I'm okay."
She nods.
"What's up?" Jesse asks.
"We were in there talking about touring," Ben says looking at me. "How would you feel about Blush opening for Falling Down?"