FADING (A novel)(33)

Nodding my head, I softly say, “Oh,” when she walks off. I turn around and walk into my room, closing the door behind me. How could I not know she’s dating someone? Sadness washes over me at the realization that Kimber and I are hardly friends anymore. She has a boyfriend, and I had no clue. I just figured that guy she brought home with her the other night was a one-night stand. I never thought I would drift so far from my best friend. How can we live in the same house and not know each other at all? What’s worse—this is all my fault.





Chapter Twelve


––––––––

The night is cold and misty, and Mark and I are sitting by the fire pit in my backyard roasting marshmallows while we wait for Jase to come over. I am curled up in a blanket as we sit and eat our sugary treat and share a bottle of red wine.

“Where’s Kimber?” Mark asks, as he stabs another marshmallow onto his skewer.

Looking over at him, the only light coming from the glow of the fire, I say, “At Seth’s, probably. She spends most nights over at his place, so I’ve been here alone for the most part.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Not really . . . well, kinda.” I grab my skewer, loaded with two marshmallows, and place them directly into the flame. I watch the glow of the fire brighten as my marshmallows ignite into a mini fireball. Pulling them out of the yellow crackling blaze, I blow out the flame on my now scorched confection.

“That’s disgusting,” he says while eying my bubbly, charred marshmallow.

Sliding off the burnt shell and leaving the remainder of the uncooked marshmallow on the skewer, I shove it in my mouth and crunch down. “It’s fabulous,” I jokingly say with my mouth full.

Mark laughs and shakes his head at me. “So . . .?” he questions, still wanting a confirmation to his previous question.

I shove the remainder of the marshmallows that are left on my skewer back into the blaze to repeat the process. “I mean, I like that I don’t have to feel awkward when she’s around, but at the same time, it makes me sad that she’s not around and that we hardly speak.” Eating the last of my marshmallows, I lay the skewer down and continue. “It hurts. Kimber has never been serious with a guy, and now she has a boyfriend I know nothing about. She’s seems really happy, and I wish I was a part of it.”

“So, why don’t you just talk to her?”

“Because she knows I’m hiding something and lying to her. She told me that she doesn’t want to be friends with someone who can’t be honest.” Shrugging my shoulders, I take another sip of wine and tighten the blanket around me.

“Maybe you should . . .”

Mark is cut off when the door opens and Jase comes outside to join us.

“Hey, guys,” he says as he walks over and kisses Mark, then turns to me and kisses my cheek. “What are you guys doing out here? It’s cold.”

Mark holds up the half-eaten bag of marshmallows and says, “I’m fattening up your rail-thin girl over there.” He eyes me with a smirk and winks.

“Good luck, fatty,” I respond playfully.

Jase sits opposite me and starts, “So, I want you to come out with Mark and I Saturday night.”

“Jase,” I say as I slowly shake my head. I don’t go out. I never go out.

“It’ll be low key, promise. Spines is closing early to have a private concert, and I was able to snag three tickets for us.”

“You want me to go to a concert?”

“Candace, seriously? It’s at a book and music store. It’s a private show, but forget about that. You won’t turn me down when I tell you who’s playing,” he says as his smile grows. He reaches in his back pants pocket and pulls out a ticket. He hands me the solid black ticket with two white X’s on it.

“Are you serious?” I ask as a snatch the ticket from him. “How did you get these?”

“A friend of Mark’s,” he says.

“Who?” Mark asks.

“Ryan. I ran into him at the gym earlier today. We got to talking about music, and he mentioned the show. When I told him my best friend is a huge fan of The xx, he gave me a few extra tickets that he wasn’t using.”

Looking at Jase, I ask, “Who’s Ryan?”

Mark answers for him and says, “He owns the bar that my band has been playing at.”

Holding the ticket, I really want to go, but I am nervous. I sit there quietly, staring into the bright fire, when Jase reaches over and takes ahold of my hand.

“I really want you to go. You’ll be with the two of us. Nothing will happen,” he assures me.

Looking at him, I let out a sigh and say, “I don’t know. It makes me nervous.”

“I know,” Jase whispers. “But nothing will happen. You have to start trying.”

I look back at Mark, and he shrugs his shoulders and nods in agreement. Letting out a slow breath, I turn back to face Jase. “Okay,” I say with a shaky voice. I need to do this. I know I do. I’m just scared. Paranoid really. I tell myself everyday that I need to function, so I will push down the fear that is already rising inside of me, and try.

Sitting back, Jase quietly says, “Thank you.”

?????

I stare at the black and white ticket that lies on my desk. Every time I walk past it, I try and reassure myself that I can do this. Jase and Mark will be picking me up shortly. I walk into my closet to find something to wear. Looking around, I decide on simplicity: jeans, a long sleeved white V-neck shirt, brown knee-high boots, and my brown crew-collar leather jacket.