FADING (A novel)(22)

Wiping away my tears with his thumb, he says, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why did this happen to me?” I turn my head and look into his eyes, desperate for answers I know he doesn’t have.

He shakes his head, and his eyes start to rim with tears. “I don’t know, sweetie. But I do know that you didn’t do shit to deserve this. This isn’t your fault.”

“But maybe it is. I mean, I really led him on when I had no intentions of . . .”

Jase cuts me off me off and snaps, “You mean Jack did this?!”

My whole body turns cold. Oh shit! What is he going to do? I quickly sit up and turn towards him. “Jase, you can’t say anything,” I plead in a stern voice.

“Christ, Candace. I thought it was just some random *. Why didn’t you tell the police? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I can’t. Everyone would know. Everyone, including my parents.”

Jase rakes his hand through his hair, and I can tell he is pissed, which upsets me. I don’t want him to be mad at me.

“Fuck,” he spits out. Looking at me, I can see the rage in his eyes, and I start to panic. “I’m gonna kill that f*cker.”

“Jase!”

“What the hell happened?” he demands.

“Don’t.”

“Candace, you have to tell me.”

“Please, don’t.” Slowly shaking my head, I begin to cry. I’m scared. Scared to talk. Scared of what Jase might do. Scared that people will find out.

Jase stands up and walks out to the balcony, slamming the door shut behind him. I sit in his living room, alone in the silence. The sun is starting to rise and Jase is leaning on his arms against the railing. I know he is pissed at me, which kills me inside. I can’t stand to see him so mad and upset. I get up and make my way to his bedroom, leaving my phone on the couch.

I must have fallen asleep because when I open my eyes the room is bright. I sit up and look down at Jase who is sleeping next to me. I slip out of bed and make my way to the kitchen to get some water. I look at the clock and see that it’s almost nine in the morning. I’m not too worried about the classes I missed yesterday or the ones I will most likely miss today. It’s only the first week, so I know that classes are no more than discussing expectations for the quarter. But I’m worried about the fact that I missed my studio yesterday. I haven’t looked at my face yet, but hopefully the swelling and bruising has gone down enough that I can attempt to cover it with makeup.

I open the fridge and grab a bottle of water. I twist off the cap and down the whole thing in a few large gulps. My head is throbbing slightly, so I begin to make a pot of coffee when I hear Jase come out of the bathroom. Scooping the coffee grounds, I look up at him as he walks into the kitchen. I don’t say anything because I am unsure of his mood. I hope he understands where I’m coming from and isn’t still mad at me.

He walks straight to me and turns me to face him. Cupping my cheeks with his hands, he says, “I’m sorry.”

I can’t find any words, so I simply nod my head. I notice his eyes are puffy and bloodshot before he pulls me in to hug me. I wrap my arms tightly around him and squeeze. It hurts to know that he must have been crying when he was out on the balcony earlier this morning. I press my head against his chest, and we just stand there, clinging to each other.





Chapter Eight


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I sit nervously in Jase’s car as we drive to my house. After coffee this morning, we decided that I would stay at his place for a few days. I emailed all of my professors and told them that I had gotten sick and wouldn’t be attending class for the rest of this week. None of them seemed to mind. Knowing that I have always been dedicated to my classes in the past, no one even questioned me, not even my dance instructors.

I let out a sigh of relief as we pull up to the house and see that Kimber’s car is gone. Giving Jase a kiss on the cheek, I thank him before hopping out and walking over to my car. We agreed that he would go in and get my things in case Kimber showed up. As I slide into my car and turn the key, guilt begins to wash over me. I feel like I’m lying to Kimber by avoiding her, but Jase is the only one who knows, and I’d like to keep it that way.

I call Roxy while I drive back to Jase’s apartment and tell her the same thing I told my professors. I ask if I could have a few days off, and she doesn’t even hesitate. Lying to everyone feels horrible, but I just can’t tell them the truth.

Pulling up to the apartment, I hear my phone chime. I pick it up and read Jase’s text.

Got everything you asked for and more. On my way now.

Thank you so much. See you in a bit.

I am in the bathroom putting more ointment on my face when I hear Jase walk in. Wiping off my hands, I make my way into his bedroom where he is unzipping the bags that have my toiletries, clothes, textbooks, and dance gear.

Looking up at me, he says, “I grabbed more clothes than what you had asked me to.”

“Thanks,” I say as I walk over to the bed. I start unpacking, hanging up my clothes, putting my makeup and other toiletries in the bathroom, and throwing my books and dance things in his closet. Jase sits on the bed and watches me as I move around his room. When I turn and look at him over my shoulder, he has that look in his eyes. The look I can’t stand. The look that reaffirms the fact that I need to keep this private.