Existence(19)

“Are you okay?” Leif’s voice was edged with concern. I knew he was thinking I’d lost my mind. Nothing about the way I was acting was sane.

I smiled up at him reassuringly. “I’m good.” Unable to fight the invisible tug, I glanced back and my eyes immediately found Dank surrounded by girls, but his eyes were on me. Even from this distance I could feel the warmth of his intense gaze.

“He seems to be a hot item,” Leif mumbled as his gaze followed mine. I jerked my head back around, furious with myself for giving in and searching him out. The concern in Leif’s voice said it all. I needed to get a grip.

“I don’t really do the whole rocker thing. I honestly haven’t even got a clue what he sings or what band he’s in.” Leif kissed the top of my head. “I wish the rock star had heard that.” He seemed to relax beside me.



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“That’s not true, Pagan. You enjoy your own little private concert each night while you sleep.” I froze gripping Leif’s arm tighter. What the heck was that? Had Dank just talked in my head? God this had to be a dream! It was getting crazier by the minute. I let go of Leif’s arm and pinched myself as hard as I possibly could.

“What are you doing?” Leif asked with a look of confusion on his face. My face grew warm. Within seconds I would be bright red. I wasn’t sure if it was from the fact Dank had just somehow spoken in my ear yet he was an entire hallway length away from me or the fact I was pinching myself in the hallway like a nut case.

“Relax, Pagan, no one hears me but you. Wipe the lovely blush from your face. Your friend, who seems to think you belong to him, is going to think you’re crazy.” I turned around, this time needing to see where he was. It was Dank’s voice I heard. Just as clearly as if he were standing right beside me leaning toward my ear. Dank wasn’t right beside me. He was where I had remembered: standing on the opposite end of the hallway, listening to a red-headed freshman girl who seemed to be on cloud nine to have the rock star’s attention. His eyes left hers and found mine. He winked and gave me his wicked smile before staring back down at the girl at his side. I swallowed the fear running through me and turned away from him. Had he actually just spoken to me from across the hallway and no one heard him?

“Are you okay, Pagan?” Leif’s voice broke into my moment of panic and I managed to force a smile and nod.

“Yes, I just thought I forgot something, but I didn’t.” Leif chuckled. “The medication still messing with you?” he asked in a voice that helped bring me back to normalcy.

He was normal. He was real.

“Um, yes, I think it is.” If only I’d taken pain medicine this morning, like I kept claiming, then I could blame all this on chemicals. But I knew the truth. I hadn’t taken anything. I was going crazy all on my own.



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* * * *

“I talked to Leif during Speech and I suggested the four of us go see a movie tonight to celebrate your return to school,” Miranda said from across the cafeteria table. I’d been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t realized she’d sat down across from me. I glanced up. “That sounds like a great idea.” Miranda frowned, tilted her head, and leaned closer to me. “Are you okay?”

I forced a smile and nodded. Convincing my best friend I wasn’t internally freaking out was going to be difficult. As expected, she raised her eyebrows and gave me the ‘I don’t believe you’ eye as she sat back. Luckily, Wyatt chose that moment to join us so she wouldn’t get a chance to probe me further.

“Tonight after Leif gets done with football practice, we’re all going to the movies to celebrate Pagan’s recovery.” Wyatt glanced over at me with a concerned face. “You up for that?”

I nodded. “Sure, I feel much better. I need to get away and do something normal.”

Miranda’s smile returned. “Then it’s settled. Now, all that is left is to decide what movie we’re going to see.” Miranda’s eyes stared at something over my head. “Ugh, figures.” She said in a tone of disgust.

I glanced back to see what she found so irritating. Kendra walked in with her arm tucked inside Dank’s elbow, smiling coyly up at him while he talked to her. He obviously enjoyed her attention. He wouldn’t be the first male to fall victim to her attentions. Kendra made a complete package of perfect, if you left out her personality. I turned my head back around, hoping I could cover up the churning emotions in my stomach. The sight of her on his arm made me a little sick.

“It would be Kendra that got the rock star,” Miranda said 59



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in a disgusted tone before taking a bite of her salad.

“I hope I’m not hearing jealousy in your voice.

Considering that would be a blow to my ego,” Wyatt said teasingly and Miranda glared up at him.

“Of course not. I just wish Dank Walker hadn’t decided to give his attention to that skanky bitch. There are plenty of other beautiful girls in this school who would be much better choices.”

Wyatt chuckled. “Like who?”

Miranda shrugged. “I don’t know. Just someone who isn’t Kendra.” Wyatt laughed out loud and shook his head.