Existence(14)

“Yes, I guess, to you, it would seem that way. However, there is a difference between souls and me.” I frowned. “What?” I knew he could talk to me and souls 42



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never spoke to me but he was still a soul without a body.

“I can’t tell you what I am. I’ve broken enough rules already.” He studied the machine beside me instead of meeting my gaze. The door to my room opened and my mother walked in.

Her eyes found mine and she gasped before running over to me, “Pagan, you’re awake! Oh, honey, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up. All alone and confused in a dark hospital room.”

I peeked behind her and saw the soul standing there watching with the sexy smirk I was beginning to get attached to on his perfect lips.

“I just needed a little coffee and then I ran to get this magazine,” she said holding up a plastic green bag. “Let me get the nurse. You just be still. You’re a little busted up but you’re going to be okay.” Tears sprang to her eyes and she covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry,” she said gazing down at me with watery eyes. “It’s just, I keep thinking about your car and how it would have completely crushed you if you hadn’t been thrown from the driver’s seat.

I always tell you to wear your seat-belt and the fact you didn’t listen to me saved your life.” She let out a small sob and smiled apologetically at me. “Oh, baby, I’m just so glad you have opened your eyes.”

I smiled at her trying to mask my confusion. “It’s okay,” I whispered.

She bent down and kissed my forehead. “I’ll be right back. I need to get a nurse. They’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

She headed for the door and I stared back at the soul standing in the corner with the guitar in his hand. It struck me as odd to see him hold a guitar. Did people see a guitar floating in the air? Mom hadn’t seemed to notice, but then she hadn’t looked anywhere but at me.

“The seat-belt,” I whispered through my dry lips. I’d been wearing my seat-belt. I always did. He’d even said it 43



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was a good thing I was wearing it. Why did my mother think I hadn’t been, and that not wearing it had saved my life? He stepped forward, watching me closely. The expression on his face said he didn’t know how to answer me. Before he could reply, the door opened again and he retreated back to the corner. A nurse came bustling in with my mother behind her.

The answer to my question would have to wait.





* * * *

The soul left before the nurse finished with me and he hadn’t returned. The next time I woke up I quickly checked around the room, hoping he’d come back, but my mother now sat in his corner working on her laptop. She gazed over at me and smiled.

“Good morning!” The fear I’d seen in her eyes last night was gone...she looked less tense and more like my mom again. Now that I’d awakened and the nurse had assured her I would recover just fine, she seemed less tense and more like my mom again.

I smiled. “Morning.” My throat felt a bit better thanks to all the ice cubes I’d eaten. I reached for my cup of water and Mom jumped up quickly.

“Don’t move. Your broken rib is going to require that you be still for a while.” She put the straw to my lips and I took small sips of the cold water. It felt wonderful on my sore throat. “Miranda has already called this morning and I told her you woke up last night. She is on her way, with Wyatt,” Mom paused and glanced back at the door, “and Leif Montgomery has been in the waiting room all night. He even slept in there. I went and let him know you’d woken up and I told him to go on home because you couldn’t have visitors, but he stayed. The nurses felt bad for him and gave him a pillow and blankets.” She trailed off as if not sure exactly why he’d wanted to stay in a waiting room all night. The memories of his not showing up for our study session 44



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because of Kendra resurfaced. I didn’t feel sad anymore or disappointed. The tears I’d shed over him had been pointless.

Mom chewed on her bottom lip. “He said he was the reason you left school upset. I haven’t asked you why you weren’t at school or what happened because I didn’t want to upset you.” She stopped talking and studied me, waiting for me to say something. What could I say? I really didn’t want to see Leif. I’d almost killed myself acting like a silly girl with a crush.

“He’s been here all night?” I asked, wanting to make sure I understood her correctly.

She nodded. “He’s been here since he found out about your accident. He came with Miranda and Wyatt, but he wouldn’t leave with them.”

“Okay, um, if he wants to come in, then that’s fine.” Mom appeared relieved. I guess she’d worried I might tell the poor boy who’d waited all night in an uncomfortable waiting room that I didn’t want to see him. She hurried out the door and I heard Miranda whisper something as they passed each other. No doubt they were discussing my agreeing to let Leif in to see me. Miranda walked inside and put her hands on her hips and gave me a big cheery smile.

“Look at you, all awake and gorgeous,” she said, walking over to me and sitting in the chair beside the bed. She grabbed my hand and I saw the glistening in her eyes as she fought off tears. I squeezed her hand and her bravado cracked. She let out a sob as tears started running down her face. I glanced up at Wyatt, who stood behind her watching me. He shrugged and gave me what I could tell was a forced smile.