Drive(107)

“I really wish I gave a shit. I’m starting to jiggle, and you’re enabling me.”

“You traded in dudes for donuts,” she said with a sigh. “I wish I would have thought of it first. Hurry home, bitch.” She hung up as I stared at the case full of fried sugar.

I stood at the counter as the woman, who had seen me often in the past few months, looked at me with apprehension, like I would clear out her case. She was judging, but I could see the envy in her eyes. She was starving.

“Big box?”

I nodded as I fired off my grocery list. “Okay, two cream cheese stuffed Danishes, two of those bear claws. Four chocolate, two glazed.”

“Is that all?” the woman asked impatiently.

“No,” I said, matching her dead stare before I smiled with big eyes just to scare her. “One with the sprinkles.”

I heard the familiar chuckle behind me and my heart plummeted.

Of course, we would run into each other this way. Sighing in defeat, I turned to see Nate standing behind me. He was impeccably dressed, a slow grin spreading on his face.

It was my worst nightmare. I was in my last pair of jeans that would button and a dirty T-shirt that read Spank Me with a grown man in a diaper on it. Slumming wasn’t the word. It was more like slobbing. My hair was piled in a disgusting bun on top of my head, and I didn’t have on a stich of makeup.

“Hi,” Nate said as he looked me over.

“Can you just pretend I’m in that jumper you love with heels and look incredible?”

His eyes softened as he took a step forward and threw a twenty on top of the glass case. “Her sprinkles are on me.” The woman behind the counter took one look at Nate and I saw the change in her demeanor. She was hungry and needed sex with Nate Butler. And I felt her pain. He always had that effect on women and had never once given me reason to worry. I managed to stifle the threatening tears, but my voice shook when I spoke.

“How are you?”

Nate turned back to me after placing his order while I moved to the end of the counter and gripped my box. “Thank you for these.”

“Happy belated,” he said, avoiding my question. “I got a call from a guy named Gary yesterday. I gave him my recommendation.”

“Thank you,” I said as he joined me at the counter. Butterflies collided in my chest and sank to my stomach.

“I guess congratulations are in order.”

“Not yet. I haven’t been offered the job.”

“It’s yours, Stella,” he said, his blue eyes scouring my face. I nodded, in no way interested in talking about my possible job.

“Will you take it?”

“I don’t know,” I said, carefully reading him to see if the idea sat well with him. “My future’s kind of wide open at this point.”

“Want to go sit down?” he asked.

“Only if you want to,” I said honestly. Please want to.

The lady brought his box, and he added two coffees. He ordered mine from memory, just the way I liked it, and that’s when my eyes watered. I couldn’t hide it. “Maybe I should just go.”

“Stella, let’s sit.”

I nodded and followed him to a table. He took off his jacket, something I’d seen him do a hundred times before, but somehow it hurt to watch.

“I read last week’s print. Really good stuff,” I said as I took a sip of my coffee, my appetite diminished.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I said with a smile. “But far be it from me to judge, being the girl with the inappropriate T-shirt and whose opinion isn’t relevant.”

Nate smirked. “You know that’s bullshit. I told you so . . .” He trailed off, and I wanted to forehead tap myself. He told me the night we broke up. Nate cleared his throat. “Anyway, I think we both know that you became a bit more relevant since you published in Rolling Stone.”

I gaped at him. “You saw it?”

“I did. I wanted to call you.” He slipped and we both shifted uncomfortably. “I was so proud of you.”

I smiled as a tear I couldn’t win with fell down my cheek. “That means a lot to me.”

“Don’t do that,” he whispered. “I’m not used to seeing that. I fucking hate it.”

“It’s my new therapy,” I said as heat crept up my face. “That and donuts.” I squirmed under the weight of his stare.

“Stella, I saw you walk in here, and I thought I was going to lose my shit, okay? My heart fucking stopped. You’re more beautiful than ever. Whatever flaws you’re trying to point out to me, I can’t see. Now let’s squash this elephant because I want to talk to you.” His voice turned heavy, hoarse, and raw. “I miss my best friend.”

More tears emerged as I tried to clear my throat. “You don’t hate me?”

“Never. God, I could never hate you,” he assured as he leaned over and wiped the tears away.

“You never made me cry,” I said with the longing I felt. I gripped his hand and held it to my face. “Never. I miss you, too, Nate. So much.”

“Stella, I was hoping—”

My phone rang, rattling us both, and we collectively looked down to see Reid’s name across the front.

Nate sighed and sat back.