Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(129)

Music is blaring and I hesitate in the doorway, Ben juts his chin forward. “You go in, I’ll wait here, he ain’t gonna be ‘appy ‘bout this but I dint know what else to do.” I must look nervous as Benny adds. “I’ll be right here, I won’t go anywhere.”

He nods as if to reassure me, I walk down the hallway, the place is lit up like Christmas, and every light appears to be on. As I enter the open plan living and kitchen area, I’m struck by the mess. There are bottles everywhere, whiskey, wine, beer; the coffee table is covered in them, along with lots of little empty bags that coke was obviously once in. There’s a tray on the floor with two lines ready to go on it, along with a rolled up fifty pound note. The place smells awful, stale alcohol and vomit mainly and a hint of cigar smoke. The song that’s been playing has just started to play again, its Fake, by Alexander O’Neal, he has a couple of his CD’s that he plays in the car. I look over to the kitchen; there are a couple of plates with mouldy food on them, a pizza box and more bottles.

I head toward Cam’s bedroom and can hear the shower running; I head into the bathroom quietly. The door to the shower cubicle is open and Cam is sitting inside on the floor, the water is bouncing off of him and out of the open door, making the floor wet. There is a pile of vomit on the tiled floor beside the shower and another beside the toilet. I throw a towel over each pile, he doesn’t notice because his eyes are closed, his legs are out in front of him, arms slumped at his sides, his head is hanging forward and he’s completely naked. He looks… small, which is ridiculous as he’s six foot four and a big strong man but right at this moment he looks small and frail and I feel so bad that I have caused this. I stand and stare for a few moments, my hand covering my mouth as I try to control my sobs, I go back out to the front door and tell Ben to grab some bags and to start clearing away some of the bottles. I go back to the bathroom and shut the door; I go over to the shower and turn off the water. Cam mumbles something and lifts his arm in front of him and reaches for something… someone, me? I straddle his lap and dry his hair and his face. He almost has a full beard growing, it’s dark but with a few flecks of grey. I raise my hand and gently touch his face, his eyes flutter open but he can’t focus, he sucks on his own cheeks, probably trying to moisten his mouth, then he opens his eyes again and tilts his head to the side and gives me a little smile.

“Kitten,” he whispers, very, very softly. “I love you.”

I let out a sob, I can’t help it, I hold on to each side of his face. “Oh Tiger, what have you done to yourself?”

“I love you,” he whispers again, he grabs a handful of my hair, not roughly, just enough to tilt my head and make me look at him, he nods his head and says it again, “I love you.”

I don’t know what to say, my heart is telling me to tell him that I love him too but my head is telling me not to be so f*cking stupid. He shivers and I realise I need to get him out of the shower and into bed. I move his shoulders off of the wall and drape a dry towel around them; I’m afraid that he will slide over and hit his head so I call out for Benny. The music goes quiet and I can hear talking, I call Benny again. Cam whispers, “No, no Benny, just you, just you Kitten.”

The door that separates the bathroom from the bedroom opens and Cam’s absolute double is standing there. “I… I’m sorry, I’m Georgia, I was… he’s cold, I don’t know how long he’s been in here. I can’t lift him.”

Cam’s double is wearing a suit; he takes the jacket off and throws it behind him onto the bed. “Mind out the way. Benny, get your arse in here.”