Carnage: Book #1 The Story Of Us (Volume 1)(11)

“No… of course I wouldn’t but you’re not in a band G.”

“So because you are, I just have to leave it? I just have to stand there like a complete cunt and let girls do that to you?”

“That’s enough George!” Lennon shouts from beside me, him and Marley had been so quiet that I had forgotten they were there.

Sean walks toward me. “It’s just part of it babe. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just part of what we do, I don’t kiss them back, it doesn’t mean anything but they’re our fans and we have to put on a show. You can’t do that, you just can’t do that.”

He kisses my cheek and my hair and I calm down a little bit, but I’m not sorry, I look up as Jimmie comes flying through the door.

“Fucking hell George, you ripped half the hair out of her head!” I stare at her blankly, it all goes quiet.

“You,” Marley says, I look up, not sure who he’s talking to. It’s Jimmie.

“You and him… ” He gestures with his chin to Len. “All this f*cking time and you’ve been with him!”

“Marl,” Jim, Lennon and Sean all say at the same time.

Sean, Sean knew and didn’t tell me? Marley looks at Sean.

“You knew too? You knew what was going on and didn’t tell me?”

“No… I didn’t know… Not for sure.”

“What does that mean?” Marley and I both ask at the same time.

“I watched them… How, they were with each other. I thought that something was going on, but I didn’t know.”

“Why didn’t you say something?’ Marley asks him.

“No… I wouldn’t do that. What if I was wrong, think of the trouble it might have caused between you two? You’re brothers; I wouldn’t do that to ya’s”

Sean had had a complicated upbringing, his Mum had left his Dad when he was small, she had packed up their things and ran away in the middle of the day with Sean while his Dad was at work, she had taken Sean and left. With Sean’s Dads brother! Sean had never seen his Dad again, he had an idea that his Dad had come looking for them and had gotten pretty close, he had attended three different primary schools and was now at his second secondary school. Part of the reason he spent so much time at our house is because he hated his Step dad come Uncle with a passion, he was seven when his Mum left his Dad and over the years he’d worked out exactly what had gone on and he was angry, angry with his Mum and Uncle, angry with his Dad for not finding him and angry with himself for caring.

Lennon looked around at all of us.

“Look, I’m sorry. We’re sorry, we wanted to tell everyone but we were scared. I’m eighteen; she’s just turned fourteen. It don’t look good, it don’t look right.”

“That’s ‘cos it ain’t.” Marley shouted. “It’s f*cking wrong, she’s a kid, she’s a f*cking kid.”

“I’m not a f*cking kid and I love him. You’re my two best friends, of course I wanted to tell ya’s but we… we were scared. I’m sorry George, I’ve nearly told ya so many times but I was just scared.”

We all stand and look at each other; the boys are due back on stage any minute and haven’t even had a drink yet.

“Well you should have told us. That’s all I’m saying.” I give Jimmie and then Lennon a cuddle. Marley storms out without saying a word.

“Fuck… I need a beer,” Sean states.

“Go, get back on stage, I will bring you one.” Sean brings his eyes down to meet mine.