Breathe In (Just Breathe, #1)(82)

“I’m done in there if you’re ready,” Joe mentions, pausing at his closet door. “It won’t take me long to get dressed, so I’ll be out of the room before you get out of the shower.”

“Thanks.”

I intended to get up right away, but my body is still a bit slow to respond. Maggie follows me into the bathroom when I finally muster the energy to get up.

“I’m good, Mags,” I comment when she hovers.

“I know,” she acknowledges.

Good, I’m glad that she doesn’t notice.

“I just thought you might, you know, need me.”

Smiling at her intention, I reveal, “Thanks, but I’ve . . . um.”

“Ohhh, okay.” She holds me tight, rubbing my back and then leaves.

I don’t bother locking the door — I just don’t care at this point.

When I return to the bedroom after showering, the main door is closed and no one is in the room, not even Sadie. Taking my time, I make the bed after putting on a bra and panties.

I hear a light knock on the door before it cracks open.

“You doing okay in here?” Joe questions, checking in.

Sadie wedges herself enough through the door to get in.

“Yeah, come on in,” I suggest, running the towel over my long, wet hair again.

Joe halts in his tracks when he sees me and immediately looks away. Why is he uncomfortable looking at me? Inspecting my body, I don’t find any bruises, cuts or abrasions. It takes my brain an extra second to understand his response. I’m still only wearing my white, lace bra and panties.

“You in or out?” I command, not caring as I hang up my towel in the bathroom. Turning around, I see that the bedroom door is closed and Joe’s sitting on the bed looking at Sadie as he pets her. “Are you on Emma watch?”

“What? No,” he nervously replies.

I guess my friends don’t trust what I might do if I’m alone for too long.

I brush my hair with slow, robotic strokes as I look into the mirror. Taking my time, I begin applying my makeup. Halfway done, I hear mumbling coming from the other room.


“I can’t hear you,” I advise.

More mumbles, occur before I hear him clearly, “Did you make the bed?”

Stopping, I turn and see him standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and looking down. “Yes, why?”

“Just checking.” His eyes stay glued to the floor.

Returning to the mirror to finish applying my mascara, I hear another voice in the distance.

“Emma, were you planning . . .” Maggie stops in the middle of her sentence.

I look over to see Joe shift out of the doorway to let her through.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She peers back and forth between me and Joe with her eyes wide and mouth open.

“You aren’t interrupting anything. What’s up?”

“Oh yeah, were you planning on wearing your red cardigan?” Maggie faces me, but her eyes bounce between Joe and me in the mirror.

“No. Why? Did you want to?” I nonchalantly continue as if it’s just me and her in the room.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind?”

“Not at all. It’s in my bag,” I instruct.

“Thanks, sweetie,” she says leaving the bathroom.

As I put some chapstick on, I hear her shouting thanks again followed by a door closing.

Leaving the bathroom, I stop just before bumping into Joe. It takes him a second to realize that I’m waiting to get by him. I take my time at my suitcase to determine what to wear as I put my makeup bag away. I select a white tank top, a pair of white capris, and a thin, tan v-neck silk blouse. Grabbing my pants, I turn to find Joe sitting on the chaise reading. Bending down to place a foot into each pant leg, I look up when I hear Joe clear his voice. Gradually pulling up my pants, I stare at him. I gain his attention right as I’m rounding my hips. His eyes jump from my hands, to my breasts and then to my face before darting away, realizing he got caught. Smirking, I pick up my tank top and slip it on, keeping my back to him. I momentarily return to the bathroom to inspect myself in the mirror, put on some earrings and a necklace and run my fingers through my hair.

I set my pajamas in my clothing bag next to the dresser. Grabbing my white flats from my shoe bag, I place them next to the bed for easy access. I check my purse to make sure I have everything in there including Sadie’s stuff for when we leave. My phone is still charged and there are no messages or emails that need to be tended. I slip on my blouse before sitting down on the bed to put on my shoes. Sadie rests her head on my leg, causing me to pay attention to her rather than finish dressing.

“You okay?” Joe’s sweet voice asks.

Not turning to look, I answer, “Yeah, why?”

“Just checking.” Standing next to me now, Joe reaches his hand towards me, “Come on.”

I’m uncertain at first to take his hand, but do it anyway.

Joe pulls me into him, resting his right hand on my hip and his left on my face. He studies me carefully. Joe doesn’t push like he did last night in the kitchen.

Something is different. I’m guessing that my morning incident has something to do with it. I’ve probably scared him off enough now where he just pities me — I hate pity from anyone. This is probably for the best — better Joe finds out now that I’m too messed up to be in any kind of relationship and why I avoid them. He can save himself from me and my demons. Yes, this is for the best.