Borrowing Trouble(41)

“This is not the Jay I know.”

He looked at her, sadly. “And this isn’t the Bethany I know. You’re my friend, the one I’ve known forever. You don’t do shit like this.”

“And you don’t f*ck men!”

“Bethany!”

Before the argument could go any further, headlights shone through the front windows. Jay looked at Bethany steadily. “Do we do this in front of them? Do you tell them for me or do I get a chance to speak to them?”

“You’re going to tell them?”

“Won’t they wonder, Beths? Won’t they want to know why you suddenly don’t want them in my life?” His voice shook on the last word and she paused. She sobbed, clenching her fist.

“Jay, I don’t know what to do here. But I promise, I can’t let this stand.” The fear that struck in Jay’s heart at that moment, at the anger and recrimination in her voice. He hurt, deep down. He knew she was surprised. He supposed he was still getting used to the idea of being into men, regardless of what that made him, so she had the right to freak out. But this was making his head hurt and his heart ache.

“I’m going to bed. I’ll stay here tonight and let you say your peace, but tomorrow, I’m leaving with my kids.”

He wanted to toss her out, lock her out. She couldn’t do this. How could the first time he’d felt right in his whole life be about to cost him so damn much?

The kids came in, thankfully laughing. Jay looked up to where their mother had disappeared upstairs. There was no way they could miss his too bright eyes or his heated face. “Are you two fighting again?” Millie’s face clouded. God, but he hated making so many people he loved unhappy in less than one horrible hour.

Jay couldn’t stand it anymore, and collapsed in the recliner. “Sit down, guys. We need to talk.”





Chapter 18


Millie’s stormy expression was so unusual. Of the whole family, she was always sunshine and light. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation, but at the same time, he felt oddly ready to just get it off his chest—at least to these two people, the ones who meant the most to him in the world.

He’d do whatever he could to make them happy, to keep them healthy. If that meant leaving with their mother in the morning, what could he say? They lived in Mississippi. Montgomery County, at that. Mothers always got the kids, it was just a fact. And that he had admitted to being with a man, he didn’t even know the implications. He’d been in a homosexual relationship for five whole minutes, so he hadn’t quite wrapped his head around the new politics that would come with that life.

“I’m going to have a conversation with you guys that you might not like.”

“You didn’t tell mother to stay in Atlanta, did you?” Millie asked. He scowled at her petulance.

“You’re twelve years old, Millie, I need you to act like it for a little while here.” Millie stared at her father, not one for being stern all that often. She nodded. Clint’s gaze was steady on Jay, though. He didn’t appear surprised they were about to have whatever conversation they were going to have.

“Y’all are old enough, I feel I can talk to you for real.”

They nodded solemnly, Millie looking a little wary.

“Now, you know your mama and I were never going to get back together. We told you when we split up, it was nothing to do with y’all, we just … we didn’t work.” More nods. “Millie, when your mama said she was coming home, she meant she’d probably live with your grandparents or in Winona. Which you know is a lot closer, only thirty minutes. But she isn’t going to live here.”

“I know that, Daddy.” She said, seriously. He studied her carefully, noticing just how much she’d grown. She was, for all intents and purposes, a young lady now. Didn’t mean the news was going to be taken easily, but at least he wasn’t about to try to explain this to a six year old. He didn’t know if he’d have been able to handle this if they’d been any younger.

Hell, he didn’t know if he could handle it now. Again, he found himself wishing he had Landon here, but that wouldn’t be fair. He hadn’t even told Landon what he wanted. He was entirely too wrung out to think on that right then, so, much like Old Jay, he tucked that away until the task at hand was completed.

“Millie, you know how when me and mom separated, we didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, or to feel like you were keeping secrets, but that the divorce was a grown-up thing?”

“Spit it out, Dad,” Clint said.

Jay slumped. “You guys can tell who you want. I’m not going to make you keep secrets. It’s not my place. If you need to talk to someone, I won’t stop you.” Clint and Millie shared a long look. “I’ve been figuring out some things, talking to a professional, and all.” Jay didn’t imagine there was an easier way to say it. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Mr. Petty,” Clint said, expression open. Jay’s eyes flicked between the kids. Millie seemed startled by the news, but neither of them looked angry.

“How?”

“I saw you guys.” Clint’s face went scarlet at his admission.

“You did?” Millie asked, clearly grossed out.

“When you came home last week?”