Borrowing Trouble(35)

Jay’s brows flattened, lips thinned, unimpressed. “I want to see you. And I don’t have time to do this any better. I just … Landon, I’m not done here unless you’re saying this was all you wanted.”

Landon felt breathless, chest constricting with that hope he’d felt all day. “Oh.”

Jay shook his head, giving Landon’s arm one more squeeze. “I’ll call you, okay?”

“Is that what you say to all the guys?”

“No,” Jay said seriously. Landon tried on his understanding grin again.

“I’ll hold you to it, then.” Please. He felt ridiculous, but he knew he couldn’t let their abruptly shortened night be the last time he ever touched Jay.

They parted and made their way into the house. Clint had gone upstairs while Bethany acted like she was right at home, shuffling through cabinets in Jay’s kitchen. To his credit, Jay didn’t look any more impressed by that than Landon. Landon knew Jay was right, though. His coming out, even if he didn’t label it any more than just “I’m dating a man,” would be a process. Assuming Jay ever did utter those words, tonight would not be the time.

Millie perked up from where she’d posted up on one of the stools on the breakfast bar. “Do you have to leave, Mr. Landon? Mother is making chicken pot pie. Hers is the best.”

Bethany looked at her daughter and shrugged at her use of the word mother before saying, “I’m sure Mr. Landon has better things to do than spend family night with us.”

“Yes, and I’m sure your mama needs to get on the road sooner rather than later,” Jay said pointedly. Bethany looked as surprised as Landon felt at the words. They weren’t mean, just stating the fact this was not her home.

“I’ll see you next time, Millie,” Landon said, then made his goodbyes again before slipping out to his truck, doing his damnedest to keep the image of family night out of his head, ASAP. He decided the best course of action now would be to trust Jay, and respect Jay’s need to get his own head in order. Either way, he would try to protect his heart, because whether Jay was communicating better or not, the man could realize he didn’t want the drama of being in a same-sex relationship yet. Landon could just keep hoping Jay’d stay true to his word and keep him in the loop.

***

Jay enjoyed dinner with the kids and Bethany. There’d been more laughter than he remembered there ever being. Not that they were particularly unhappy, family wise. The tension between he and Beth had just made things a little more melancholy in the years leading up to the divorce, and with the kids having a little trouble adjusting to everything over the last year, had made things a bit tense for a while. Now, though, despite his feeling like he was in new skin with a different brain, he felt more alive than he had in a long, long time.

Clint’s silence was a little unusual, but there didn’t seem to be anything angry simmering under the boy’s surface. He seemed more thoughtful; he was like his mama that way. Millie happily told about time spent doing some shopping with her mama in Atlanta’s malls. He wondered when she’d started becoming such a young lady, because most definitely less than a year ago, she’d have balked at the mention of shopping even at Walmart.

After dinner and baths, Jay and Bethany took turns saying goodnight to the kids. Jay felt a twinge of guilt knowing some of Millie’s ebullience came from her parents being under the same roof. He wondered briefly how she’d feel if she knew who he’d been carrying on with lately. She was as polite to Landon as she would be to any other adult, seeing as she didn’t know him all that well. He didn’t suspect she’d be all that enthusiastic over him dating anyone, honestly.

They’d raised their kids better than to be hateful. Even if being gay wasn’t an open reality with anyone in their lives up ‘til now, he had never heard his kids be hateful toward anyone because of it.

He wondered why he’d never thought to have a talk with them about such things before, but then he realized he hadn’t exactly had the conversation with himself until he met Landon and his own past had started coming to call.

After kissing Millie on the forehead and getting fussed at because a twelve year old should be able to stay up later than nine p.m., he went to Clint’s room. Bethany passed him in the hall. “Hey, I’ll go finish putting the dishes in the dishwasher.”

Jay knew it was too late for Bethany to drive back to Atlanta, possibly too late for her to go over to her parents’ house at this hour. He didn’t want to kick her out, but he also didn’t want her—or even Landon, really—around tonight. He wanted things back to the new normal of just him and the kids for a couple of nights so he could think. And wasn’t that amusing, since he’d done his best not to do so for so very long.

He knocked and popped his head in Clint’s room. “Hey, bud. You all set?”

Clint looked up and gave a good natured grin. “Yeah, Dad.” He set aside his laptop and stretched. “Just working on this project. Sorry if we busted up your weekend plans.”

Jay tilted his head, heart beating a little faster, nervously. “Nothing big. We were just finishing up some odd jobs around the house.” Clint’s face was expressionless, but he shrugged. “Did you have fun in Atlanta?” Did you see me and Landon kissing?

Clint shrugged. He wasn’t normally any more or less moody than one would expect a sixteen year old boy to be. But something was on his mind. “You need to talk about anything?”