Borrowing Trouble(19)

Chapter 9



Jay tossed his checkbook register across the desk. Frustrated was the easiest way to describe his mood. He looked at the program on the PC Clint had attempted three times now to teach Jay how to use, but Jay still felt dumb. Hell, he did well to turn the stupid computer on half the time, so he didn’t know why he thought it’d make it easier to try to keep up with his budget on the personal finance software the kids had gotten him for Christmas.

He didn’t know why they’d gotten him the software at all. He didn’t even remember the password to his email, and all of this on top of his stupid f*cking hangover from hanging out with those stupid f*cking kids the night before was doing nothing for his stupid f*cking mood.

It also obviously wasn’t doing much for his vocabulary.

Frustrated.

What a simple word for all the feelings going on inside him. He was thirty-six years old last time he checked, so he didn’t know why he was reduced to angsting like he was sixteen. Self-examination had been one of those things that was supposed to make him a better husband, a better father. Instead, after last night’s near kiss with Landon, it’d made him nothing but an angry, guilty mess.

That Landon had thought Jay would hit him over the near-encounter had distressed him. Then he’d drunk too much and flirted with that Brittany girl and lord knows that didn’t help a bit. She was beautiful, with her long blonde hair, thick legs, and full curves. But when he’d looked at blond hair, he could only think of running his fingers through Landon’s.

And what the hell?

He’d been married for almost twenty years, for f*ck’s sake. To a woman.

But you were only ever with that one woman, his traitorous mind reminded him. Fuck you very much.

He’d almost kissed Landon. He didn’t even know if he was ashamed of it, or turned on by it. His cock tenting his sweatpants right then gave him an answer he wasn’t sure he could handle.

He eyed the computer on his desk.

What the hell would it hurt? He just hadn’t gotten laid in forever, a conclusion he’d come to after eyeing Landon’s shirtless torso the other day. He probably just needed to rub one out.

The kids weren’t home. He was all alone.

He clicked up the browser on the computer. He’d never done this, looked for porn on the internet. But even he couldn’t f*ck that up, right?

He did a Google search and found a free site. He felt a little bad for it, but hey, desperate times.

When he brought up a video, he watched it almost clinically. It was a strange sensation. Yeah, he was hard, and it was sex. Sex was good.

He did roll his eyes a few times, though, knowing some of what he saw was shit he’d never have been able to get off doing. That made him change the video. When the next one started to play, he watched carefully. Again, he rolled his eyes at the over the top moaning of both participants.

A strange thought crossed his mind, though.

The internet hadn’t been a thing when he was a teenager, and if his folks had caught him with a skin mag, he’d have been toast. He’d seen a couple pornos, obviously, but by the time it would have been something he was into, he was getting regular sex from Bethany. Who needed porn when they had the real thing?

So he’d never… strayed. He’d never looked at anything other than standard old man-on-woman porn. He didn’t know why, or what had his fingers pecking out the words gay man porn in the search box. But… if nothing else, it’d prove a point. He wasn’t gay, therefor, gay porn would do nothing for him.

He looked through the thumbnails until his eye caught on one with a smooth, muscled blond man. He didn’t let himself think on why he was looking at a porn with a guy that looked like—no one. It was a passing resemblance at best.

The video started and holy shit. The action started right away. The blond man was sucking— He clicked the window closed. His body shook, cock pounding with need. But…

Way to prove a point, *.

He leaned forward, elbows on the desk, and dropped his head into his hands, trying to even his heavy breathing. This was insane. His heart raced and he could feel a flush from his ears to his chest. It was all arousal. All visceral need and he didn’t know how to shove this back in the f*cking box. The stupid box he’d opened.

His body was so hot, sweat clinging to his brow. Granted, he’d already been hot, had taken off his shirt earlier because with it being so late in the year, he felt silly turning on the central air. Now, though, it was all because he was… well, hot. And bothered.

A knocking on the front door made him look up from where he’d been hiding in his hands. The knock was firm. Not angry, but definitely someone on a mission. He scrunched his brow in wonder over who’d be stopping by so early on a Sunday morning. Hell, most people he knew were getting ready to head to Sunday school at church.

He stood, only to realize he was still hard enough to pound nails, and his old sweatpants weren’t doing shit to hide the problem. He grabbed his t-shirt shirt from where he’d laid it on the back of his chair and held it in front of himself. Wouldn’t be the first time he’d answered the door shirtless, and at least he could hold it in front of himself to hide his hard-on.

He started thinking of anything random he could, trying to calm his body so he wouldn’t embarrass himself, but when he threw open the door and saw Landon there, his cock gave a happy jump. Goddamnit.