Boarlander Boss Bear (Boarlander Bears #1)(34)

“So, what do you want me to do? I’m trying to move us forward, but you’re trying to keep us in the hole, man.”

“I don’t want you to claim Audrey.”

Harrison jerked his gaze to Clinton, and the smell of fury wafted to her on the breeze.

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

Clinton shook his head for a long time, gaze on the babbling river under the falls. “Don’t bring her in any closer.”

“For how long?”

“For always. I don’t want her to be a Boarlander. I know what I can and can’t handle right now, and that’s it. The second you give her a claiming mark, this place is wide open to females, and my bear can’t be around couples, Harrison.” Clinton arched his eyebrows, and his voice broke on the quiet “I’m sorry” he murmured before he turned and walked through the trees toward the trailer park.

Shocked, Audrey watched him disappear into the trees. It was impossible to breathe under the weight of the pain that filled her chest. She would never be a Boarlander, would never be Harrison’s claim. She would be destined to stay on the outside here, never really a part of this place, just like the rest of her life had been.

She dragged her horrified gaze to Harrison, but he didn’t smell like fury anymore. The air was heavy with his sadness.

The word “Fuck!” echoed across Bear Trap Falls as he squatted down, hands gripping the back of his neck. He looked as hurt in his middle as she was. Gut punched. She wanted to retch.

She wished she could be angry with Clinton, but now she understood him. He wasn’t being mean because he hated her like she’d thought. There was something wrong with his bear. Something broken, and someday, Harrison would have to put him down.

Clinton wasn’t asking for her to be cast aside to hurt her.

He was pushing her out so he could live longer.

Why did she feel like the earth had just opened up and swallowed her whole? Why did she feel like she’d just been trapped in a dark cave alone? Harrison, her mate, was out of reach. If she begged him to claim her and bring her into the Boarlanders, he would hurt. If she didn’t, he would hurt. His crew was everything to him, and she was causing a huge rift in the make-up.

She’d been selfish in moving into 1010, knowing that not all of Harrison’s crew was okay with her living here. It had been easy to ignore the sadness and anger that Clinton let off because she’d had Harrison. He was the sun blocking out the dark, but with Clinton’s admission here in these woods, she couldn’t ignore the grit she’d caused anymore.

She loved Harrison.

Loved him.

And now she would have to let him go.





Chapter Fourteen




A knock sounded at the front door of 1010. Audrey was already distancing herself from thinking of it as home anymore.

She stood from the edge of the bed where she’d been lost in thought and wringing her hands for the past half an hour.

Maybe she shouldn’t answer it.

Another knock echoed through the trailer. She would’ve feigned sleep, but the bedroom light was on, so she wouldn’t be tricking anyone.

With a quick trio of huffed breaths, she pulled open the door. Harrison stood on the porch he’d built for her, his back to her, hands on his hips. He turned, and the devastated look in his lightened eyes made her duck her gaze. She couldn’t take anymore hurt right now.

“You were out there. I smelled your fur in the woods on my way back. What did you hear?”

“Everything,” she whispered. She ghosted a glance up to him and then back to his scuffed boots.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

Stepping back, Audrey opened the door wider. Harrison kissed her cheek as he passed, and she squeezed her eyes closed so she wouldn’t cry. Sweet mate, worried about her, making sure she knew she was still adored.

“We should talk about what Clinton asked.”

“Will you claim me against his wishes?”

Harrison ran his hands roughly over his hair and wouldn’t meet her eyes, which was answer enough.

“Then I don’t want to talk about it. I just want you to hold me until I fall asleep.” One last time.

Harrison froze, his ice-blue eyes locked on her. “Okay,” he murmured. He squeezed her hand and led her slowly to the bedroom.

Beside the bed, he pulled her clothes off gently, piece by piece, then tucked her under the covers. He turned off the light, and as her eyes adjusted to the dark, the rustle of fabric sounded. The covers lifted, letting in the cool window breeze, and then Harrison slipped in beside her.

He was so warm and strong, muscles hard against her back as he spooned her, and that beautiful, all-consuming feeling of safety washed over her. She closed her eyes just to drink in this moment fully.

His cheek resting on hers, Harrison whispered, “Everything will be okay. You’ll see. I’ll fix it.”

But fixing it would require him to hurt his crew, and she couldn’t have that. Not anymore. The Boarlanders felt like her crew, too, even if it wasn’t true. Hurting one of them continually would wreck her. She and Harrison would both go down in flames, so she had to be strong now. She had to save them both.

He dipped his lips to her neck and kissed her gently, and she responded by arching her back against him in a silent plea. Erase my thoughts for a little while. Let me pretend this was meant to last forever.