Boarlander Boss Bear (Boarlander Bears #1)(38)

“And where will you go?”

Clinton shook his head for a long time, then began to pack again.

She was shaking from the adrenaline dump in her system, leaking red onto his laminate flooring and naked as the day she was born, but none of that mattered. She couldn’t be the cause of the Boarlanders shattering.

“I’m leaving,” she murmured. “I decided to last night when I heard you ask Harrison not to claim me. Out by the river. My mind is already made up.”

“But Harrison—”

“Will be hurt if you go. He’s not bound to me. Not yet. You pledged to him, though, and he’s been through hell losing his crew.” She turned for the door but hesitated at the frame. “Just…promise me you’ll try harder. Promise me you’ll take care of him.”

“Audrey, you can’t go now. You’re Second. You earned a place here.”

She smiled sadly. “I was always on the outside, Clinton. I’m used to it. You need Harrison and this place. I’ll mend over time, but you won’t.” Lies. She would never be okay again.

She would not expose her heartbreak to Clinton, so she patted the doorframe and left his trailer, tears stinging her eyes. She couldn’t draw a deep enough breath as she made her way to 1010.

Harrison sat on the top porch stair, elbows on his knees, favoring a long claw mark across his ribs. They matched. She would always think about that if her injuries made scars. Every time she saw them in her reflection, she would remember how she’d gotten them, fighting for the man she loved. For the man she would always love. Down to her marrow, she knew Harrison was it for her. No one else for the rest of her life would compare.

Harrison watched her approach and stood when she got closer.

“Clinton’s not leaving,” she said, climbing the stairs.

“He’s not?” There was beautiful hope in his voice, and she barely resisted the urge to double over the pain in her middle.

“No. I am.”

“Wait, what?” Harrison followed her inside.

“I’m not a part of this place. Never was, never will be without the crew’s blessing, and I can’t get that from Clinton.” She strode into the bedroom and yanked her suitcase from the closet. “You can’t claim me with Clinton here, and I won’t be the reason he leaves. One of us has to go.”

“Audrey, you can’t go now. I’m yours. My bear…f*ck. Stop!” He yanked the suitcase from her hand, but she began stacking her clothes from the drawers to the bed without missing a beat.

She needed to do this as fast as possible, or she would lose her courage.

“I need you to stay,” he said, low and growly. “I need you to pick me back.”

“I am.” She stomped her foot and dashed her knuckles over the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Can’t you see I am? It’s me or Clinton, Harrison. He was here first.”

She dressed quickly as he watched her from his spot, leaned up against the wall. She didn’t dare a look directly at him, or she would buckle. She picked up the suitcase Harrison had dropped on the floor and packed it as fast as she could.

She was trying so hard to be strong, but her vision was completely hindered by the tears that rimmed her eyes, and she couldn’t breathe through the sobs that clawed their way up the back of her throat.

When she passed Harrison, he pulled gently on her wrist. Closing her eyes, she shook her head in despair. Harrison pulled her gently toward him, and she was helpless to deny him. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted to pretend it could’ve been like this forever.

“I can’t make you stay, can I?” he asked, his face buried against her neck.

Unable to speak, she shook her head.

“If I make this place good for you someday, will you come back?”

This was her future disappearing like fog under the bright sun. As long as Harrison was the strong, caring alpha he was, he would try to rehabilitate Clinton. It was part of why she loved him. The only way she would be able to come back was if Clinton was gone, and she would never wish for such a thing.

Instead of answering, she whispered, “I love you, Harrison. I always will.” She pushed up on her tiptoes and kissed him, then ripped herself away and left 1010. Left the happy life she’d finally found, the friends who made her feel whole.

And as she drove away, she saw him in her rearview. Harrison’s bear strode for the woods with long, powerful strides. Just before he hit the tree line, he looked at her and roared a heartbreaking sound.

She would never be the same again, would never be okay.

Darkness had been easy to dwell in before she’d known the light.

Now and for always, it would be impossible to be happy in the shadows again.





Chapter Seventeen




Audrey was dying. That was the only thing that could explain this gutted, hollow feeling that had her doubled over the steering wheel of her Jeep, shaking with the pain.

The gravel road curved this way and that like some great serpent through the mountains. Ancient evergreens lined the road, and each turn brought a new breathtaking view of Damon’s mountains. She would never see this place again.

She maneuvered a sharp switchback and gasped when she saw Clinton standing in the middle of the road. She slammed on her brakes and skidded to a dusty stop right before she hit him.