Blind Kiss(68)

“You’ve always had to reheat your dinner because I never know when you’re going to be home, Lance. That’s nothing new.”

“Yeah, except you’re usually there when I’m reheating it. We don’t even have that little bit of family time anymore, Penny.”

Dr. Lake cut us off just as we were getting to the meat of things. “I can tell the two of you have love for each other, otherwise you wouldn’t be here trying to work things out. But our time is almost up—”

“—I’ve heard separation leads to divorce eighty percent of the time, Dr. Lake. What do you think? I mean, Penny is insisting on a separation so she can go do whatever she wants. Do you think it’s fair to me?” Lance interrupted.

“In my experience, separations can help couples get the space they need to evaluate their relationships. Penny might feel smothered. She might be having a hard time working out how things got to this point, but she’s here. Penny, perhaps you can speak directly to Lance and tell him why you think separation is a good idea.”

I nodded and turned to him. “Because I’m in a fog. I want to say, yeah, let’s just sweep this under the rug, but clearly both of us are unhappy. Gavin isn’t going anywhere. He’ll go back to Denver and be with his girlfriend, but he and I will always be friends, the way we were before you and I even started dating. That has to become a nonissue or else we can’t move forward.”

He nodded. “Okay, I hear you. I’ll agree to one month. That’s all I can handle, Penny. I want a decision in a month. Until then, I’ll go stay with a friend. You can move back in and stay with Milo.”


AFTER WE LEFT the counselor’s office, Lance followed me to my car and opened the driver-side door for me. “I love you so much, Penny. I’m sad that our marriage has come to this. Please promise me that you’ll be faithful to me during this separation. I can’t bear the idea of another man putting his hands on you.”

I nodded. “I’ll keep my distance from Gavin for now. I just have to go back to his place and pick up my stuff first. Okay?” Without another word, I got into the car. Lance closed my door, gave me a sad little wave, and headed for his own car.

Looking down at my phone I saw a text from Gavin.


Gavin: How are you?


Me: Just got out of couples counseling.


Gavin: And . . .


Me: It went well. I asked for a monthlong separation and Lance agreed.


Gavin: Good. Don’t do anything crazy.


Me: How’s Briel?


Gavin: Fine. We’re out right now, let me call you later.


Me: That’s okay. I’ll be at my house with Milo. Lance is staying with a friend.


Gavin: Copy.

Copy? There was something so distant in that sign-off. Maybe he was pulling back, knowing that I needed it—or maybe he needed it in order to focus on Briel? I should have been relieved—it was exactly what I needed at the time—but something in his tone made me unsettled.





32. Thirteen Years Ago


PENNY

I went into labor a little after ten on a Monday morning, twelve days before my due date. Lance had gone to Phoenix for a quick business trip the night before. He wasn’t scheduled to be back until the next day.

The first person I called was my doctor, who told me to keep track of the contractions and to call someone immediately to come stay with me. The next two hours were a blur. The doctor told me, on average, first labors could last as long as twelve hours, which would give Lance plenty of time to get home and be present for Milo’s birth.

I frantically dialed Lance’s cell but he didn’t answer, so I calmly left a message: “Damn it, I’m in labor! You need to come back NOW.”

He called back almost immediately. “I’m in a cab, heading back to my hotel! I’ll grab my things and get on the first flight back. Hang in there, sweetie.”

I called my mother next. “Kiki and I will be there in twenty minutes!” she said. Lance and I were living in a small house about six miles from my mother’s house and twelve miles from the hospital.

Unfortunately, my doctor was completely wrong: my labor was progressing fast and my contractions were coming one on top of the other. There was no way this was going to be a twelve-hour labor.

I called Frank, who lived two miles away.

Gavin answered. “Penny?”

I was breathing hard. “How’d you know?”

“Everyone has caller ID, silly.”

“What are you doing there?”

“I came to visit. What’s wrong? Why are you breathing hard?”

“I’m in labor and Lance is trying to fly back from Phoenix right now. He won’t be back for hours. Ahhh!” I screamed. “Fuck, this hurts!”

“We’ll be there in five.”

Five words from Gavin could calm me down. But not for long. I was in the throes of labor after all, alone in our little house on Pine Nut Drive. Five minutes felt like three hours.

Gavin and Frank arrived right on time. Gavin ran around frantically, looking for my overnight bag, which Lance had conveniently put on the top shelf of our closet without telling me. Frank helped me to Gavin’s car, but I was in so much pain I could barely walk.

“I managed to catch your mom before she left the house,” Gavin said behind us. “She’s meeting us at the hospital with your sister.”