Blasphemous (Torn #3)(35)

Lindsey? No, she was going to lecture me all night long; I would never hear the end of it. Amber? Same thing. Trista? I would’ve loved to have her here, but she was with Taylor in LA. That only left me with one person that I could trust not to tell anyone. “Call Carter.”

“Alright, it’s ringing,” she said in a mild tone. “No, this is Jackie. Emma actually needs you to come and get her since she can barely stand.” She paused, listening to the other end. “Yep, she’s definitely drunk. Of course, I can wait with her until you get here. Okay.”

Jackie moved closer, cupping my cheek until I opened my eyes and leveled my drunken gaze at her. “Emma? Carter is on his way. He said he lives close, so he should be here soon. Hang in there, honey.”

I gave her a sad smile, before I closed my eyes again. “Thank you, Jackie. This is so kind of you.”

The door was yanked open with such force I was sure that it cracked the tiled wall. “Emma!”

Carter. He sure knew how to make an entrance. I was relieved to hear his voice.

He was on his knees, checking if I was still breathing. I must’ve looked like I was on the verge of dying for him to even do that. “I’m drunk, not dead, idiot,” I groaned in frustration.

“You look it, Emma. God, what the hell are you doing?”

“Getting drunk.”

“I’m going to carry you out, okay?” he whispered as he tucked the hair that was on my face behind my ear. He then focused his attention to the kind Jackie. “Thank you for staying with her. She could’ve been hurt if you weren’t here.”

“Oh, it was nothing. Though try to make sure the next time she wants to get drunk, she’s with friends?”

“I will. Thank you again.”

I added my mumbled thanks before I passed out of consciousness once more.

E

I woke up heaving with an extremely dry throat; I thought I was choking from the air that was passing through my nostrils. When I pried my eyes open, everything around me started to spin.

“Emma? Are you okay?”

Carter.

“Water,” I alarmingly whispered. The tip of my tongue tried to wet my dry lips, but it didn’t help. Swallowing my saliva was painful.

“Here, drink slowly.” Carter sat across me as he held the bottled water against my lips.

The crisp taste of cold water was heavenly. I drank it slowly until I finished it to the last drop.

“Better?”

“Very much, thanks,” I replied as my head hit the pillow. Carter hadn’t moved from where he sat. I was wondering what he was thinking about me being reckless.

“I’ll be back.” He finally stood up, leaving the room.

My eyes were shut, but I suddenly became aware of everything around me. Like the fact that the smell on the pillow that I was on was definitely Carter’s.

Why in the world was I here? He could’ve taken me back to my place a block away. His smell made me remember how I used to be with him. If Bass hadn’t happened, would I still be hung up on Carter? Maybe, but Bass did happen. He swooped into my life like a damn tornado. Nothing was ever going to be the same after that experience—larger than life—leaving a memory that could never be forgotten.

This was a different kind of heartache from what I had experienced before. The first one was hard. The second one was extremely difficult. However, this third one was intensely wretched, soul-draining, and painfully numbing. The chest pains were constant. My stomach was unstable. The supply of tears was never-ending. Everything ached in me, but I was absolutely lifeless at the same time.

Heartbreak was like an incurable disease. It’s unstoppable, wreaking havoc when it latches on. Seeping inside your system, destroying everything it passes. Spreading the poison as it kills you slowly, inside out. Killing you softly.

My depressing thoughts halted when I heard Carter enter the room. “Emma? I got a few more bottles just in case you need it for later,” he spoke as he slid into bed next to me.

I stayed silent as I listened to his steady breathing. Even if Carter was persistently annoying, it didn’t change the fact that he cared for me. Tonight, I was grateful for that. Having him this close somehow gave me comfort. “Thank you,” I managed to croak out.

“I’m always here for you, Em.” He sighed, moving closer to me. “I hate seeing you this way. It hurts me to see you hurting like this.”

I hated it, too, but there was no one to blame except me. I understood Bass’s decision, but accepting it was hard. For three months, we were together most of the time. We slept, showered, ate, partied together. We were inseparable. I was whole with him.

“I hate it, too, but there’s nothing I can do about it.” When tears started to form behind my burning eyes, I slowly got up and sat on the bed. Even though I was still drunk, I wanted a change of clothes. “Can I borrow a shirt? I need to get out of this dress.”

“Of course.” Carter got up, took a shirt from the drawer and handed it to me. “You still have your things here. You never came back for them.”

He handed me my large white shirt that had a brown bear with a ‘hug me’ across it. “Oh, right. I’d totally forgotten about that.” My hand took hold of the shirt before departing for the restroom. I hadn’t bothered turning on the light since my reflection was the last thing I needed to see. I already felt like I died, but death spat me out, so I was alive yet barren inside. Getting out of my dress was fairly easy and I sighed with relief as I slid the soft, over-washed cotton over my figure.