Blasphemous (Torn #3)(31)
He was gone.
Bass was gone.
What have I done!
What the hell have I done?
Chapter 12
“A failing love is like desperately hanging on to something precious; not wanting to give up, but your hands feel the pain. And, when you finally let go, you’re free from any pain, but your hands are empty.”
- Author Unknown
Bass
“Man! You look rough.” Taylor eyed me sadly. “Want to talk about it?” he asked as he opened his door for me to pass through.
Raking both of my hands over my hair, I expressed a melancholy sigh as I walked inside towards his kitchen, opened the fridge, and got myself a beer. I twisted the cap and annihilated the damn drink in one go. Releasing a gutted sound, I leveled my gaze to the patient friend across the counter. “Emma and I are done. Really, done. Unequivocally and irrevocably done.”
“Irrevocably? To the woman you love? I don’t think so, man. You just need to chill for a day or two and then talk to her again.”
“It’s not plausible. I can’t stand her secrets—Carter—he sent an engagement ring through Trista. Emma kept all this from me. She kept an engagement ring from an ex, who she freely admitted less than a month ago that she still had some love left for, not to mention that Carter was in London, too. I had to learn that crap from a gossip rag. Do you know how pathetic I feel?” I ranted out. I kept on going, disclosing everything from the second I met her to all the shenanigans that had happened to when Greece happened to the very last goodbye.
This usually wasn’t a norm for me—coming in here and acting like some pu**y-whipped fool, so besotted that I was fighting every second not to cry as I rehashed what happened—but I had to talk to someone. I needed my best friend to understand where I was coming from. For someone to tell me that it was the right thing to do after Emma had betrayed me.
Taylor never said a word when I was getting all hyped up with anger as I retold the story. The minute I heard him use his stern, crystal-clear lawyer voice, though, I knew I wouldn’t like what he was about to tell me. “I understand where you’re coming from, man, but the real question here is; can you survive not being with her?”
I had a life before Emma came. Of course, I’d survive. I could get as much sex as I wanted, but the love… maybe it’ll happen again. The thought brought little warmth. “I have to. Hell, maybe I’ll fall in love again, who f*uking knows?”
Taylor and those knowledgeable eyes didn’t look too pleased at me. “You can’t go back to the way you were before you met Emma, Bass. Think properly before you do something that you might regret later. What happens if you realize after a year that you want her back again?”
If that day ever came that I had to beg her back, it would be the day that I signed my f*uking life away. It won’t get to that point. I wouldn’t allow it. “I won’t let it. I’ll fight it until I have no fight left in me. I just can’t be with her. She’s a lying, deceitful, conniving witch whom I wish I’d never met.”
Taylor was looking at me with concern when my phone rang in my pocket.
“Hello?”
“I heard you were back in town. Want to take me for some dancing with your hot ride later tonight?” Lydia drawled with huskiness that used to work on me all the time, but not tonight.
“Sure, give me an hour,” I gave a curt answer before cutting the call and sliding my cellphone back inside my jeans.
“Bass! Don’t you think you’re being irrational here? Give yourself a day or two before you even start going out with other women. I don’t want you to f*uk this up, man. This shit’s too important.” Taylor folded his arms as he eyed me like I was losing my mind.
Good, because I’d already lost every other f*uking thing earlier today.
“It’s already all f*uked up. Don’t just sit there and judge my actions when you yourself ran back into Megan’s arms the minute you were rejected. Or have you forgotten that already?” I retaliated, but he seemed uncaring at my tempered state.
He slid out of his chair and got himself a beer from the fridge, handing me one before going back to his seat. “Do you honestly think a man will ever forget when they get rejected? Those things last with you, yet you’re not being rejected here. God knows what motive Emma had for keeping important things from you, but if she really didn’t care about you at all, she wouldn’t be sharing your bed, be there and love you still. Think about it, Bass. Her ex flew out to see her in London. A guy that would do crazy shit like that means he’s serious. If he’s that crazy, do you think he won’t even try to bed her? Steal her from you? Make her cheat so that you’d dump her and he gets the girl in the end?
“If you were in his shoes, wouldn’t you be doing the same thing? The point is, he did try and Emma didn’t have sex with him. You can’t throw your happiness away because you don’t get everything in one piece. f*uk, Trista was out of her mind crazy about a moron, but I went after her because I wanted a chance for something greater than what I had with any other woman. Emma is yours, so why f*uk this up because the ride is getting bumpy? You’re hurting; f*uk, that’s understandable, but if you choose to walk away because your heart can’t take the thought of her having a little love for her ex, then good luck. Make sure that this is what you want because, once this becomes final, there won’t be any going back, man.”