Big Easy Temptation (The Perfect Gentlemen #3)(91)

“Just an inch or two either way and . . .”

He forced her to look up at him. “There’s no point in wondering about what could have happened, sweetheart. I lived. I managed to give Everly, who is now Gabe’s fiancée, enough time to save him while Connor did the heavy lifting. But it’s good you saw this. You should know the shit storm you’re getting into if you continue investigating. They’re not playing around. This is damn real.”

Was he doing the right thing, dragging Holland into this? Dax couldn’t treat her like some fainting flower who needed protection day and night. Maybe he should send her into hiding with his mother.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Tell me you didn’t just think about shipping me off to your mom’s.”

Sometimes she could practically read his damn mind. “Never. You’re an asset. You’re smart and capable and you know this case. I need you with me, but I wonder if I’m being selfish. If anything happened to you, I don’t know how I’d live with myself.”

Her fingers brushed the scar one more time, but when she looked up, her jaw had taken on that stubborn line he knew so well. “I’m not going anywhere. This is my case, too. I started it and I’m going to finish it. And you’re right. We can’t think about what could have happened. We need to live in the here and now. It’s all we’ve really got.”

He could have argued that they had a future, but she rose up on her toes and pressed her mouth to his, her tongue boldly sliding against his own. She plastered her body to his, letting him feel the soft fabric of her blouse, the pebbling of her nipples. He needed more from her, wanted her warmth against him, but he couldn’t do it here and he needed to make things plain.

“I want to make love to you, Holland.”

“I can’t seem to say no tonight.”

“Perfect.” He lifted her into his arms and strode toward the bedroom.





SIXTEEN




Holland was past logical thought. She didn’t care right now what had happened in the past. Not tonight. She could reconstruct the walls around her heart tomorrow, but tonight she intended to take everything he gave her. She didn’t have the strength to fight him—and herself—anymore.

Any encounters she’d had while apart from Dax had been forgettable and unsatisfying. Only one man knew how to handle her. He was dangerous to her peace of mind, her soul, but if she played this right she might get what she needed without getting too burned.

He lifted her into his arms as if she weighed nothing at all. When she was with Dax, she could indulge her feminine side. So often she had to be tough and physical. She had to prove she could carry her own weight. Not with Dax. She never felt more feminine and delicate than when he picked her up and then laid her down on the bed they would share.

It was funny. She would never extend another man this kind of physical trust. She feared anyone else would drop her, but the thought never entered her mind with Dax. He wouldn’t let her fall. Not ever.

Punishing him for his marriage was unfair. Deep down she knew it, but she couldn’t seem to let it go. He’d entered into the most sacred institution between two people with another woman. She’d mourned him while he’d been saying I do.

“Don’t.” He stopped outside the bedroom door. “Don’t go there. Stay with me tonight.”

A sound from the bedroom down the hall caught her attention. She heard a low growl, followed by a feminine laugh before the obvious sounds of bedsprings squeaking.

“You’ll have to excuse them. They’re trying to conceive a baby.” Dax’s face softened.

“They’re in love. It’s natural. I would never have thought Connor could love any woman.”

“Only the right one,” Dax whispered. “It’s that way with all of us. We’ll play and fuck and party until we meet the right woman—and then we’re done. Holland, let me take you to bed. Let me show you.”

Her body reacted to the sounds of lovemaking that filled the house. She wouldn’t be able to sleep next to Dax and not be with him. She’d been foolish to ever think she could be in the same room with that man and not touch him.

She nodded and tried not to think about the past.

Dax opened the door and tossed her on the bed, following her down onto the sea of soft bedding and fluffy pillows. He raised up enough to work open the fly of her jeans. The hiss of her zipper still lingered in the air when he dragged the denim over her hips. “Do you know how long I’ve been dying to see you like this?”

No matter what they did, the past was always there. “About two days?”

He shook his head as he unbuttoned her blouse and pulled the halves apart. He stared at her for a suspended moment before he palmed the lacy cup surrounding her breast with a reverence that brought tears to her eyes. “Always. Even when I was so mad I couldn’t see straight, I wanted you right here. I wanted you naked and spread out for me. I wanted to look down and know that this gorgeous body belonged to me.”

“You hated me.” She still couldn’t stand the thought. Yes, she’d planned it that way, pushing him to see her in a bad light. Sometimes she still pushed, trying to gauge the extent of the damage between them.

So far it all seemed one-sided on her part, and Holland wasn’t sure what to make of that.