Big Easy Temptation (The Perfect Gentlemen #3)(88)
If Holland could have removed herself from the scenario, Dax’s actions made sense. But she couldn’t. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It does. I would have agreed with you on this a few months ago. I would have told Dax to move on and find someone else if he absolutely had to get married and do the family thing. But I figured something out.”
“What’s that?”
“People aren’t interchangeable. There’s only one Lara in the entire world. She’s the only one who could . . . I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Complete me. Just saying that makes me feel as if I have a discernable estrogen level, but it’s true. Dax can’t move on because you’re the one woman in the world for him. You have been for a very long time. I remember the day he met you. He called me and told me he’d met the future Mrs. Spencer. I told him he was insane. But he was right.”
“I seriously doubt I’m the one woman for him, Sparks. He’s just feeling guilty about not fighting harder three years ago. But I didn’t want him to fight. He did exactly what I intended him to and I don’t regret it.” Even as she said the words, Holland knew she was lying to herself, but she couldn’t lay her feelings bare to Connor or Dax or anyone. She couldn’t tell anyone how she’d mourned him. “We weren’t together very long. It was brief and intense, and at the end of the day, it was a good thing we broke up because it wouldn’t have worked.”
Except he’d said he was going to leave the Navy for her. She would have happily moved to D.C. if he’d been there.
But he wasn’t and the time had passed. Now she knew what it meant to be without him, and she couldn’t let herself fall in love with him again.
“If you say so. But you should know that Dax is pretty good at getting what he wants, and there’s no doubt he wants you.”
“And what if I told you I’m just going to use him? I’m going to sleep with him and get him out of my system. And at the end of all this, I’m going to walk away.” She’d thought about it the whole drive out here. She wasn’t sure she could stay away from Dax physically. The heat between them was far too strong. Maybe if she gave in, she would realize that her memory was faulty. They couldn’t be as good together as she remembered.
It would help her if Connor told Dax to stay away from her. Dax might actually listen to his best friend.
Connor grinned. “I’m going with my gut this time, Kirk. You can talk all the smack you want, but you loved him then. You can tell yourself that you’re getting him out of your system, but you love him now. That’s all that matters. You’re the type of woman who gives her heart away once. It won’t ever happen again. Oh, you might fool yourself into believing you could be content with someone else. You might be able to date another guy and sleep beside him, but when it comes down to really committing, you won’t be able to. You’ll always say no because deep down, you will always be waiting for Dax. Like that cop found out. Bet he wants to strangle whoever uploaded that sucker to YouTube. Let’s get inside and see what fresh horror my wife has created with tofu.”
Holland watched as Connor ducked inside, worried that his words would prove all too true.
FIFTEEN
Dax sat back as Freddy pointed to a whiteboard. Apparently one of the first things Lara had done when Connor had secured this place a few days back was to set up a conspiracy room. The cabin belonged to a wealthy businessman who had donated heavily to Zack’s campaign, and he’d been eager to allow any of Zack’s friends to use his little cabin on the bayou, as Connor had explained. Dax had to wonder if the dude would be so eager if he could see the way his den was being used.
There were whiteboards, sticky notes, and taped-up papers covering what used to be a lovely room. Everywhere Dax looked along the far wall was some note or thought of Freddy’s.
“So you believe Joy was killed in order to ensure that Zack won the election.” Holland sat on the floor, her legs crossed and her blond hair held up by a pencil she’d poked through her bun.
He supposed it was practical, but all it did was make him want to touch the soft skin at the nape of her neck. He could run his nose over it, filling his lungs with her scent before he kissed her. She would shiver and then he could haul her close.
He was so damn horny. He couldn’t even concentrate on the case because all he could focus on was the fact that they would have to share a room. The cabin only had two bedrooms and one couch. Freddy had explained he rarely slept in a bed anyway, so he was happy to take the sofa.
“Yes, I believe that’s why Joy Hayes was eliminated. I’ve theorized a number of reasons the same people would want to kill the admiral as well,” Freddy explained.
In the last few months, the dude had put on some muscle. Apparently fleeing from government agents and losing himself deep in the Appalachian wilderness had done wonders for Freddy’s physique. He looked like a Special Forces soldier, with the single exception of the long hair he kept in a queue.
Was Holland staring at Freddy because the dude was crazy, or did she think he was hot?
Because Dax was pretty sure he was hotter than Freddy. And sane. Mostly.
“We think he knew something,” Holland said with a smile the paranoid guy’s way.
Lara nodded and stood beside Freddy. “Absolutely. The only question is, what? Dax, are you aware that your father had several articles concerning Joy Hayes’s death on his person at the time of his arrest?”