Big Easy Temptation (The Perfect Gentlemen #3)(95)

He refused to make the same mistake again.

“Coward.”

She frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not afraid of you. I’m simply not interested in a long-term thing. Not with you. Not with anyone.”

He was going to have to be patient with her, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to call her out. If he let her, she would hide forever. He didn’t have that long. “Anyone? Sweetheart, this is about us. It’s all about me and how I hurt you. I could go into the ways you hurt me, too, but that would be counterproductive.”

“No, please tell me all the ways I hurt you.”

He didn’t bother with his pants. He wouldn’t need them. This wasn’t going to end the way she thought it would. He had zero intention of giving up. “You left me. Being apart from you hurt me deeply.”

“Forgive me if I doubt that. You were married twenty-four hours later.” She clutched the sheet like a shield. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Oh, it matters.” He stalked toward her. “A great deal. To both of us.”

She took a step back, her eyes taking on a wary cast, as though she realized he intended to meet this problem head-on and demolish this barrier between them.

He stalked closer, need and instinct thrumming through his blood. Oh, he was about to teach her that he wouldn’t fight fair. This was the most important battle of his life and he had no problem playing dirty.

“What are you doing, Dax?”

“What I should have done that day. I should have listened to my gut, Holland. You stood there and explained all the ways you’d betrayed me. Do you know what my instincts said to do?”

She stepped back again and gripped the sheet she’d wrapped around herself. Her response came out in a sweet, breathy gasp. “No. I don’t.”

She could stand tall all she liked. The truth was in her tone. Slightly breathless. Trembling. And her eyes. The windows to her soul looked open and vulnerable.

“My every instinct told me to get you into bed. You can’t lie to me in bed.”

“I’m not lying to you.” She edged back again and she hit the door. Now he had her cornered. She had nowhere left to run. “I’m not ready to think about a future with you. Not now. Maybe not ever.”

The words hurt, but he knew where they were coming from. He had to view this through her eyes, because his point of view wasn’t the only one.

A realization struck him with a forcible whack upside the head. If he intended to love Holland, really love her the way she deserved to be loved, he had to bend and compromise. Gabe and Connor had already been through this. They’d learned to force their own needs and fears aside to deal with their women.

In the past, he would have stormed out of the room, hurt and aching and in search of a bottle. Now he simply eased closer to her because distance between them didn’t solve anything. He didn’t leave her any space, simply pressed his body against hers until the only thing separating them was that silly sheet she thought was protecting her.

She would never need protecting from him but Dax understood why she thought she did. He’d savaged her before. He’d taken everything meaningful and tossed it aside. She’d had a hand in it, too, but he’d committed the real crime.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he vowed, sliding his hand along the nape of her neck. “Not ever again, so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m going to be here today and tomorrow and all the tomorrows after that. The future is going to take care of itself. And I’m going to take care of you.”

“It won’t work. I’ve always known it can’t.” Tears sheened her eyes when she shook her head. “I wish it could.”

He pulled her close, offering her the comfort of his body. “Then we’ll live in the moment. If it doesn’t work, we’ll have had this time together.”

“You don’t mean that,” she accused, but she let go of the sheet and wrapped her arms around his waist. “You’re telling me what you think I want to hear.”

He chuckled because she really did know him. “I am indeed. I’m telling you that because you’re scared, but I know that I’m going to love you forever. I’m never going to leave again.”

She lifted her chin. Light slanted in, illuminating the sadness in her eyes. “But I will. Do you remember that day? Joy’s wedding. You said if I could kiss you and still walk away, you would let me go. I’m going to walk away at the end of this, Dax. I can’t do this with you again. I know you think you can promise me the world, but I don’t trust anything anymore.”

Then he would make her believe. But now there was no point in arguing—at least not with his words.

He kissed her. “If all we have is the next few days or weeks, I’m not going to waste them.”

He cupped her breast, his cock lengthening against the soft curve of her belly. She sighed, her head falling forward onto his shoulder.

“I won’t fight you. As long as we’re working together, I’ll be in your bed. I don’t want to fight about that. But I will walk away. I don’t want to hurt you, but when this is over so are we.”

He would see about that. He had days to convince her and he knew one surefire way how.

He took her mouth in a long, luxurious kiss. He would never let her go. When this mission was over, he would still be by her side. She would want him there. He would make sure of it.