Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(80)

“Yup,” I say, already forming a plan.

“It’s about time you dealt with all this bullshit,” Mark says and he hangs up.

Yeah, it is about time.

Two years ago, I went into a dark place. Losing Maddie and the baby was like nothing I’ve ever felt. When we lost the team guys, it was horrible, but she was my world at the time. I was so pissed at her for constantly riding my ass and needing me to give her more. Even though she told me to leave that day, I never should have. I lost her because I was selfish, and I won’t do that to Catherine. When I found out Madelyn died, my guilt was overwhelming.

Once I get in the car, I instruct the driver to go straight to the other airport.

He looks at me like I’m half stupid since we’re at an airport, but I need my plane. I text the pilot and tell him to be ready to leave immediately. I don’t have time to waste anymore.

Catherine reminded me it was okay to love and live, and I’ll be damned if she’s going to live without me, let alone love anyone else. She’s mine and I’m going to show her exactly what that means.



I land in Virginia and have an email from my brother-in-law stating if I want to meet him then I can meet him at the bar today or not at all.

I arrive at the restaurant where Catherine and I had dinner.

Being here reminds me of her.

“Jackson,” I hear Carter approach.

I nod and I stand to shake his hand, keeping my attitude in check. While our last meeting was pleasant, we’ve almost come to blows a few times.

“Carter, thanks for meeting me.”

“So, what does my favorite brother-in-law want?” he asks as he sits.

“I would really like to talk and be civil. Can we manage that?”

No one loved Madelyn like Carter did and no one hated me more than him either. I understood because I’d kill anyone who hurt Reagan, but I lost a lot that day too. The way Carter saw it was that I’d abandoned her to die.

“It’s been almost two years since I’ve heard more than a word here or there. Let’s not even talk about the brush off I got the last time we saw each other. I don’t know what exactly you expect from me. What’s going on?

“I won’t bullshit you, so here it is … I want you to take over Raven.”

He looks at me and leans back in his chair. This was his family’s company and I’d be a total dick if I didn’t at least give him a chance at it. When Maddie died, I asked him to take over, but he’d told me to f*ck off and fade away.

“When she died, I couldn’t imagine going to that office. Now, I have no desire to have anything to do with it. I’m doing well here and I don’t want to move Chelsea and the kids.”

I give a quick nod and bite my tongue from telling him how I moved because it was what she wanted, but Maddie wasn’t his wife. My life was altered more than he can imagine. “I understand. I’ll be making some calls today.”

“You’re just going to walk away from it?” he asks with brows raised.

“I’m making some changes in my life.”

“I see. I have a question, since you’re here,” Carter says as he grabs his drink.

“Go ahead.”

“Why did you walk away from the family?”

My eyes widen as I try to decipher the underlying meaning. “I didn’t walk away.”

“Yes, you did. I reached out to you numerous times. You came to Virginia often, I assume, but you never came and said hi. It was like when Maddie died you disappeared.

“I wish things were different,” I pause. “I couldn’t see you and the girls. I lost everything. My life was a mess and you hated me.”

At her funeral, Carter called me every name in the book. He was distraught and had attacked me. I took it because I understood. It was my baby that killed his sister. It was my fault.

“I didn’t hate you.” Carter puts his drink down and watches me. “I hated everyone. Her for not being careful. You for leaving her that day. She called me after you left. She was upset, didn’t know what to do. She said it felt like she was losing you.” He closes his eyes and sighs heavily. “I know you didn’t want to leave the Navy and yet you did it for her. I think she knew that too. Anyway, I told her if you loved her, you’d come back. Did you love her?” Carter’s question pulls my attention.

“Of course I loved her,” I pause. It’s about time we have this conversation. “I gave up everything for her, man. I mean, you know how much I loved the Navy. I would’ve retired from there and even then they would’ve had to throw my ass out. But Maddie couldn’t handle the deployments and the fear of me dying. So I gave it up.”

“She used to cry every night that you were gone.” He looks up and takes a drink.

I know this. I remember her telling me every time I had to leave.

“We met when I was active duty. She knew what a marriage with me was, but she said she could handle it.”

“She couldn’t.”

“I figured that out. I did right by her so your anger is misplaced, brother. I loved her for a long time, but I didn’t kill her. That baby was never planned, and honestly, I wouldn’t have let her keep it knowing it would’ve killed her. I don’t know how she got pregnant. We were very careful. She was very careful. I know you lost your parents and then your sister, and for that, I’m sorry.”