Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(84)

I roll my eyes as Tristan taps his foot letting me know I really need to go. “As much as I’d love to argue with you, I have to go. Apparently I’m late. Thank you for my present and you can forget about any kind of rematch. I’ll never run that shit again. I love you, always,” I say and I hear him grumble as I disconnect the call.

Tristan smirks playfully when I approach. “That was like watching a one-sided tennis match. I can only imagine what you just did to him.”

I jab him with my elbow and we start walking to the conference room where our first Hollywood client is waiting. “He can handle it.”

Tristan elbows me back. “Muff?”

I laugh at how someone who doesn’t know Jackson or Mark would hear that word and insinuate what it means. “Not that kind of muff. Come on, we’ve got clients to sign.”

After the meeting, I feel terrible about the way I handled the call. The entire time I wondered how I’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If he walked away from me and then taunted me about another woman, I’d be hurt.

I grab my phone and call, but it goes to voicemail.

“Hey, it’s me. I’m sorry about before. Thank you for the gift. Give me a call when you get a chance if you want to talk. Miss you.”

I set the phone down and feel even worse.





“Hey, want to hit the beach?” I look up at Tristan standing at my door smiling. It’s still warm and sunny even though it’s fall.

“When?” I ask.

“Now? I have this amazing boss, who loves me. And she wants to stare at my luscious body.” Tristan’s eyes sparkle with mischief.

“I’m pretty sure you crossed about a hundred lines of inappropriateness, but I am amazing. Is the schedule clear?”

“Yup! Go home, grab your suit, and I’ll meet you at your apartment.”

Tristan and I have been spending a lot of time together since he’s funny, sweet, and actually cares if I take breaks. Plus, he tells me that Taylor calls him to threaten his life daily.

I still haven’t heard back from Jackson, which has been weighing heavily on my mind. I send him a quick text while I’m on my way home.

Me: Hey, I’m sorry if you’re upset.

Jackson: I’m not. I’m really busy. There are some big things going on that I’m handling.

Me: I understand.

Jackson: We’ll talk soon. I love you.

Me: I know, I love you.

Sometimes you can love someone so much, but it isn’t enough. It’s been two weeks and already whatever I thought we had is dissolving. There is a part of me that knew all of this was going to happen. Loving someone doesn’t mean that it’ll work out. Plenty of times I thought love was going to make me whole. Neil for one, I loved him and he showed me how sometimes love is blind, and not in a good way. I loved my father, but that love couldn’t conquer his guilt or reasons for staying away.

Then I have the good love. The people in my life who reciprocate love: Ashton, Taylor, Gretchen, and many more. Love shouldn’t come with a price. It shouldn’t take from you and make you miserable, because then what would you be left with? If I gave up everything for him and it didn’t work out … then what? No matter what the future holds, I know I’m strong enough to handle it.

I get changed and meet Tristan outside my apartment. The beach is within walking distance, so we head toward it on foot. The sun warms my skin and I draw a calming breath. The sounds of the seagulls above and the waves crashing soothe my soul.

“Do you miss Jersey?” Tristan asks after we find a spot and get comfortable.

I close my eyes and soak in the vitamin D. “I don’t know. I miss some stuff but it’s fall now and I’m at the beach … that’s pretty amazing. I don’t miss the cold.”

“So I won’t be worrying about you skiing in Tahoe?” he laughs and I join him.

“Definitely not. I will be parked right here until the last beach day possible.” I smile realizing I have no clue when that will be. I could get the beach for a lot longer than I even realized.

“Sweetheart, you’re going to be a California girl sooner than you planned,” Tristan teases.

We laugh and he promises to take me around L.A. and we plan a tourist day. The day passes and when I check my phone, I’m brought back to the small piece of me that won’t let go of the east coast.

Jackson: Today, I miss you more than should be allowed. Today, I hate California. Today, I want to hold you, kiss you, love you. Today, I found one of your shirts.

I type out my response but delete before sending … Me: Tomorrow, you’ll be okay.

Instead I send:

Me: I miss you too.



Today marks a month since I’ve left New Jersey.

As much as I long for certain things, I’m growing into my new life. The office is now at a functional level, we have some new clients signing on. There are two publicists that work under me and we’re in the process of getting the marketing team in place. Tristan is my lifeline. He’s fast become my best friend out here. We spend so much time together, he’s almost like a little brother—only not.

The only real dark spot in my life is Jackson. Since our last phone call, I haven’t spoken to him but we’ve had an occasional superficial text. I spoke with Natalie last week and she said she hasn’t heard much either. Thankfully, she and Mark still keep in touch. I also get random cat texts from Mark, but it makes me smile. I sent him a Twilight picture the other day and I got a nice text back: Fuck you.