Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(79)

“Why is this so hard?” I ask mostly to myself, but I know he hears me.

Jackson pulls me in his lap, and when I look at him confused, he smiles. “You’ve been away from me long enough, I need you close.”

And my heart melts.

“I don’t want to lose you. I’ve been thinking and maybe we can try this long distance?”

“I don’t want this to be it either, but how would that work? You’re a busy man, and I’m starting up this office. I’ll be inundated with meetings and late nights. You have two companies to run.” I shake my head and try to force myself to not get caught up in this idea. “If we weren’t on opposites sides of the country …”

“I have a plane.”

“And you have two companies.”

“I know,” Jackson’s head falls against my side.

I open my mouth to speak, but they call to begin boarding.

Here is our end. Where there will be our goodbye contrary to what he says.

My eyes close and I tuck my head into the crook of his neck. I feel his pulse, hear his heart beating, and I don’t want to move.

“I have to go, don’t I?”

“You could stay forever, but I don’t think that’s in your plan,” Jackson whispers from behind me and he helps me stand.

We’re eye to eye and I fight hard to form a wall around my heart to protect me—but it’s futile. “Forever is a long time.”

“It wouldn’t be long enough for us.”

His eyes well with tears and mine spill over. They call for the next section to board but I don’t move. I’m going to stay every second I can and burn this into my memory.

Jackson leans into me and kisses me worshipfully. His lips move against mine in perfect harmony. I lose myself to his touch. My hands grip his shirt and pull him closer. I want to take him inside of my heart and hold him there. They call for final boarding and Jackson breaks the kiss.

“It’s time. No goodbyes.”

“This wasn’t supposed to be us. We were supposed to be together. This was our time,” I say angrily.

“Shhh,” Jackson puts his fingers to my lips. He clutches my face and breathes the words into me. “I’ll find you again.”

I close my eyes and hold on to his wrists, “I don’t want to lose you.”

The black chill of silence surrounds us. I have to let him go.

Our lips meet again and I taste the salt of our sadness. Unsure of whose pain blurs between us. His tongue glides against my lips and I open to him. With each swipe of his tongue against mine, I break apart from the inside out.

They call once more for final boarding and he draws back and places a kiss against my forehead.

I look up at his turquoise eyes and choke out, “I don’t want to let you go.”

He’s my everything.

“If you love something, you have to let it go. I love you enough to let you go. Go live your dream, baby.”

We kiss once more and I hold on to his hand until the absolute last second. When the tips of our fingers disconnect, my chest tightens so much it physically hurts.

The last image I see when I glance back is the door closing as Jackson’s head falls into his hands.

Now I know what it feels like to lose your heart.





I’m a f*cking idiot.

That’s the only thing that keeps rolling around in my skull. I watch her walk away and do nothing to convince her to stay. It’s like someone just shot me all over again. Pure agony. I want her to be in my arms, not on a damn plane. I could’ve asked her to stay, made her see what her leaving was doing to me, but I told her to go.

I told her to leave me, but I didn’t think she’d go—or maybe I did.

I’m a f*cking idiot.

She needed to choose and I can’t blame her. Do I wish she would’ve stayed for me? Of course I do. She belongs with me. Then again, I’ve screwed up so many times I’m losing count. So I’m glad she got on that plane because I now know what I have to do.

I lived through her walking out the door once, but I won’t live through it again.

Fuck that.

It’s time to get her back.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I call the limo driver to have him swing back and get me.

Then I call Mark.

“What up, dickhead?” he answers laughing.

I don’t even have the energy to insult him. I have more important things to do. “I’m on my way to Virginia. It’s time to get shit done.”

“About f*cking time. I was starting to question the legitimacy of your man card. I thought maybe you liked playing dress up with your little makeup company and I needed to be concerned with how often you might have stared a little too long after the showers,” Mark crows in his condescending I-think-I’m-so-awesome-just-ask-me voice.

“You wish. There’d have to be something to stare at. I need to meet with Carter and if that doesn’t go well, I have a guy in New York who I can call.” The wheels are spinning in my head.

“You know Carter is going to be a prick. I would call your guy now and start the ball rolling.”

“I’ll handle it.”

Mark gives a sarcastic laugh. “Just like you handled everything else? Let’s face it, Muff, you’ve been f*cking up left and right. So for once, listen to me. Call me when you land.”