Beholden (The Belonging Duet, #2)(60)

Once we reach the bar, we find a couch that’s open and grab a seat.

“This is nice,” I say and pull my legs up under me while pulling my dress down.

“So, since you skated the question before, I’ll ask. Why did you go see Neil after Gretch said you shouldn’t?” Ashton asks.

She’s got to be kidding me. This is what she wants to talk about tonight? The good mood I was trying to hold on to evaporates.

“The suit never was filed, all is well in the world. Neil is gone. I think I’m much smarter than you give me credit for.” I cross my arms and lean back on the sofa.

“Bitchy much?” Gretchen replies and pokes me in the arm.

“Sorry,” I say softening my posture. “I’d much rather spend our night not talking about Neil. Plus, I’m beat.”

“Of course you are! You’re moving, you got promoted, you had a month to get it all done, and you broke up with Jackson. It’s been a busy few weeks,” she says with sympathy laced in her voice.

This is why I love her. She’s the ying to Ashton’s yang. When one is hard the other is soft. Good cop/bad cop. But they always seem to tell me what I need to hear. I may not like it, but it’s always said with love.

“What are we drinking? It’s on me tonight.” Gretchen smiles and Ashton whoops, allowing the Neil subject to drop.

We order our drinks and I opt for a glass of wine. If I drink too much, I’ll be asleep in the chair. Ashton however is taking full advantage of Gretchen’s offer to pay. They’re laughing and I’m mostly laughing at them.

“Are we going to talk about Jackson now?” Ashton pipes in.

“Are you trying to piss me off tonight?”

“Better to be pissed off than pissed on,” she retorts.

“I’d rather not be either right now,” I say, hoping she’ll drop this too.

I long for him every night. I’ve slept with a pillow clutched in my arms just to have something to hold on to. I’ve cried, thrown things, and memorized that piece of paper to feel close to him.

“Well, I think we should. You’ve been avoiding saying shit to either of us.” She looks as Gretchen for support, who just nods.

I ask myself every day if this job is something worth throwing it away for, but the doubt and lies bring back my resolve. There’s no reason for him to have kept this from me, and it leads me to believe there are far deeper secrets he has buried. Then I’m reminded of Piper and how even she knew.

I embrace the rage bubbling up, shoving away the doubt.

“I’m not willing to talk about Jackson, but you two are more than welcome to.” I grab my wine and sip it, suddenly wishing it was something stronger.

Sitting here ignoring the two of them, a heavy feeling settles over me. It’s hard to breathe and my chest is heaving. All of the energy shifts—it’s the same sensation I have whenever Jackson’s around. I look around for him as if he’s suddenly going to appear. We’ve never been to this bar, so there’s no reason to think he’s here, but I feel as if someone’s watching me. Scanning the area, I don’t see him or anyone I know.

Ashton snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Catherine.”

“Sorry, I thought someone was here.”

“I can call him if you want,” she says smirking.

My jaw drops as I process what she says. “Seriously?”

Gretchen shifts and taps Ashton’s arm. “Enough, Ashton. Okay, let’s talk about how I met someone.”

Immediately, Ash and I start asking a million questions about the new guy. Gretchen doesn’t date. Her job demands her time and she never wanted to put herself through the arguments that come with having to work. My heart is full for her. She deserves love and happiness. Work won’t fulfill her forever.

After another round of drinks, Ashton turns her attention back to me. “Okay, I know you don’t want to talk about him, so let’s talk about how you’re about to take over the world with your bad ass self.”

“Are you getting excited?” Gretchen asks.

“Yeah, I really am. I’m going to miss you guys, don’t get me wrong, but the idea of running an office and getting this opportunity …” I shrug trying to downplay my emotions.

Gretchen smiles, “I’m really proud of you.”

“Thanks. The apartment I found is really amazing. It’s a little further away from L.A. than I wanted. It’s in San Clemente, but it’s close to the beach.” I start to let the excitement build. My company believed in me and I’m definitely the youngest in CJJ to ever head an office. Even Sean, who helped start the company, pointed out my age. He said they have absolute confidence I’ll be up to the task.

“It sucks that even being here—on an island—we never go to the beach. And when we have two feet of snow you’ll be in a bathing suit.”

I feign sympathy. “Yeah, that’s really going to suck,” I pause, “For you.”

Ashton slaps my arm and we all start to laugh. It feels good talking with them about everything and allowing myself to really be happy about this opportunity.

“What about your dad’s house. Did it sell?” Gretchen asks.

“The realtor said the buyer is good to go and we’re going to close the day after the memorial.”