Becoming Calder (A Sign of Love Novel)(81)

I nodded my head. "Okay."
Calder tilted my chin up with his finger and gazed into my eyes. "My brave girl," he smiled, "I won't worry about you because you are so strong. I'll know you're fine."
I nodded, resolve filling me. "I will be fine. I'll be strong and I will wait for that dumb call from Xander telling me to meet you right here."
Calder chuckled and pulled me back toward him. "It is a dumb bird call. Humor him though. He's pretty proud of it."
I grinned against his chest and we held each other for another minute, until I pulled away, and began pulling my clothes back on.
After I was dressed and the blanket was put back in the bag, I almost swung it over my shoulder, but thought better of it and set it down behind me between the rocks where the sketchpad was still kept. There was no reason to carry it with me back up the tree and across the roof. I turned back to Calder and smiled at him. "I'll see you here soon, very soon," I whispered.
"Yes," he said, "very soon." He took my face in his hands and kissed my lips softly and then rubbed his nose along mine tenderly. I kissed him one last time and turned to leave. I ducked through the opening in the rocks and hiked up the trail, knowing Calder would be behind me in a few minutes. I wondered if he'd leave the unlit candles where they were or take them back with him. I pictured somebody stumbling upon our little spring years and years from now, when we were long gone, and wondering what had gone on there, what it all meant. I couldn't help smiling to myself. Only he and I knew the story. It was only ours.
I climbed the tree easily and then tiptoed softly across the roof back to my window that I had left open just a crack. I pushed it up slowly, pausing when it creaked softly. When I didn't hear another sound, I opened it all the way and climbed through. Two minutes later, I was changed and in my bed.
The next morning, the only clues the beautiful night at the spring with Calder hadn't been a dream, were the delicious smell of him still on my skin and the glorious ache between my legs.




CHAPTER EIGHTEEN


Calder



The morning after I made love to Eden at our spring, I sat down next to Xander in the community dining hall.
"Kicked out of the dogs' quarters? That's a low blow," Xander said, spooning scrambled eggs into his mouth.
I laughed a humorless laugh. "I don't know just yet. It's not like he let me eat up at the main lodge anyway."
Xander nodded, eyeing me and then looking back down at his empty plate. I knew him, he was trying to decide whether to go back for thirds.
"You look tired," I said, biting into a piece of buttered bread.
"Yeah, I can't imagine why. Maybe because I tossed and turned all night in the sick tent, waiting to get caught for posing as you."
I chewed, looking down. I had been kidding, but I hadn't realized Xander would be so nervous he wouldn't sleep at all. I had been selfish. Once I swallowed, I looked back at Xander. "I'm sorry, and thank you. I owe you."
Xander smirked. "Yeah, you owe me for about a hundred lifetimes. I've been keeping tally. You'll still be paying your debt to me in Elysium."
I grinned. "Happily."
Xander laughed, and then drained the rest of his orange juice. "Was it worth the risk?"
I pictured Eden's pale skin glowing in the moonlight, her eyes filled with love and passion and trust.
"I'd risk my life to relive last night," I said truthfully.
Xander studied me, a slow smile taking over his face. "Okay, then." His eyes made a slow survey of the mostly empty room and then came back to me. "I hope you didn't get her pregnant."
I felt heat rise in my face. "I know better," I said. We were both quiet for a minute.
"So," I finally said, smiling around my food, "let's get these plans underway so I can relive last night."
Xander was quiet for a minute as he looked off behind me. When he looked back at my face, he looked tense and I sobered, watching him.
"Gods, Calder," Xander said tensely, "this isn't only about you and Eden. I have my own dreams, too, you know. Life isn't all about you."
I set my cup down, frowning. "I know that," I said. I studied him for a few beats. "Hey, I'm sorry, I've been selfish. This is about you, too. I'd want to get out of here whether Eden existed or not. And I know you have your own dreams. I'd want you with me regardless of the circumstances. I'm sorry if I gave you any other impression."
Xander exhaled, making eye contact with me. He ran a hand through his hair and it flopped back down on his forehead. "I know. Damn this place." He shook his head. "I know. I'm just tired."