Becoming Calder (A Sign of Love Novel)(79)

When we stopped, Calder looked thoughtfully at me for several beats.
"What?" I whispered.
"I'm memorizing every detail of your face," he said quietly. "The next time I get to look at you close up like this, we're going to be away from here."
My heart picked up in speed and I took a deep breath. "How long?"
"Two months, maybe less."
"It will pass so slowly," I said, feeling the weight of what would be our separation press down on me.
"It will be worth it," he said. "A little more sacrifice, and we'll finally be free to be together, free to live the life we want to live."
I nodded, clasping my hands around his neck. "More sacrifice," I said. "I don't want to sacrifice anymore. I've had enough sacrifice for three lifetimes. I'm ready to live."
"I know, Morning Glory. Me, too. Just a little longer."
Calder set me down and we washed each other slowly, me glorying in his smooth skin and the way he watched my hands as they ran over the different parts of him. His breathing picked up speed when my hand wrapped around his shaft. It was already hard and it slipped between my fingers easily in the cool, clear water. "Eden," Calder  moaned.
I moved closer to him and stood up on my tiptoes to kiss his mouth as my hand continued to slide over him just under the surface.
"I love the way you feel," I murmured, breaking from his lips. "So different from me."
"I love the way you feel," he said, smiling and bringing his hands up to cup my breasts. He rubbed his thumbs over my nipples and we both watched as they hardened under his touch.
"Mmm," I sighed.
Calder jerked and swelled in my hand. "I want you again," he said, looking in my eyes, his voice sounding thick.
"Yes," I nodded, closing my own as the pleasure from his touch sent an electric spark straight between my legs.
"Are you . . . sore? I don't—"
I shook my head, stopping his words. "No, I'm not sore." I was sore, but the truth was, I wanted to be even more so. I wanted to feel Calder between my legs every time I took a step for the next two months. I wanted it as a reminder of what my sacrifice was for—why it would all be worth it in the end. In the end, Calder and I could do what we were doing anytime we wanted, without fear, without shame, without having to plan and conspire, and sneak out windows and down trails in the dead of night. Although for now, I wasn't complaining. For now, I'd take him any way I could, however I could, as many times as I could. He was mine for tonight.
Calder scooped me up and carried me out of the water as I laughed. He lay me back down on the blanket and moved between my legs. We were wet and the slight breeze chilled me, but then his warm skin was on mine and I sighed out in comfort. Calder kissed me, his mouth warm and wet and delicious. After a few minutes, we were both moaning and moving against each other, trying to get closer. How was it that Calder made my body feel heavy and full, yet too empty both at the same time? Within minutes, I was desperate to have him inside me. Was this normal? Was it normal Calder filled me with so much heady desperation? I had no way to know—no comparison—no one I could ask other than Hailey who hadn't even been comfortable talking about it. But it felt too good not to let myself enjoy it. It felt too necessary not to lose myself in the sensations Calder brought. Would the gods have created our bodies to experience so much pleasure if they didn't mean for us to? I didn't think so. I couldn't imagine the gods were that cruel, not when we were expressing our love for each other this way. And I did—I loved him. I loved him to the depths of my soul.
I felt the soft tip of Calder's shaft at my opening and I spread my legs wider to accommodate his narrow hips. He pushed inside me and we both moaned. He threaded his fingers through mine and brought both of my arms up and over my head and put his mouth on mine, licking my tongue with his own as he thrust leisurely inside me.
He took his mouth from mine and whispered, "I'm going to take it slow this time. We're going to burn every stroke, every touch, and every kiss into our skin so when we're back together, it will only then just be cooling. While we're apart, we'll still be keeping each other warm." He smiled against my mouth and I breathed out a laugh.
"Mmm," I murmured.
I loved the way he was holding my arms hostage as he stroked into me. I was being held down, but it made me feel safe and protected, because it made me realize I trusted this man with everything in me. I trusted him with my body and my heart. I trusted him with my life. I felt precious, loved.
The pleasure built as Calder leaned his head to the side and I heard and felt his breath right at my ear as his body glided slowly in and out of me, and the hard muscles of his chest rubbed against my breasts. I brought my legs up around his hips and although I still felt tender inside, he glided in and out smoothly. I felt little bolts of pleasure each time his pelvis connected with mine.