Back to You(104)

…when you lose something you cannot replace…
…I promise you I will learn from my mistakes…
…Lights will guide you home…
and I will try to fix you.
With the music still playing, Lauren leapt from the chair and scrambled out of her room, grabbing her keys from the entryway table on her way out the door.
And then she was running down the walkway.
She hadn’t even thought to grab a jacket; the freezing February air bit at her skin, and a cold drizzle had dampened her hair by the time she got to her car.
Swiping at the tears that wouldn’t stop, Lauren sped down the road that would take her to him. They had wasted almost nine years, and she refused to waste any more time. She had to apologize. To tell him she finally understood.
She needed to tell him she had forgiven him.
By the time she had gotten to Michael’s apartment, it was pouring. Lauren jumped out of the car and ran up to his front door, ducking her head against the freezing, needle-like rain that was stinging her skin.
She rang the doorbell before wrapping her arms around herself; the cold air was becoming unbearable as her clothes quickly beca@ pulled leasime soaked through.
“Michael?” she called, knocking on the door.
When a few seconds passed and he hadn’t answered, she knocked again, a little harder this time. “Michael?”
“Hello?”
Lauren whipped her head in the direction the voice came from, squinting against the downpour. The door of the apartment next to Michael’s was open, and a small elderly woman was standing in the entryway, silhouetted with light from inside.
“Are you okay, dear?” she asked, pulling a knit cardigan a little tighter around herself.
Lauren opened her mouth to respond just as a little voice cut through the darkness.
“Miss Lauren! You came over!”
From behind the old woman, a tiny head popped out, completely throwing Lauren off guard.
But then it clicked. Michael’s neighbor. The girls’ nights.
Lauren waved sheepishly at Erin, swiping at the strands of hair that were plastered to her face.
“Are you looking for Michael?” the old woman asked.
Lauren nodded. “I didn’t mean to disturb you, I just—”
“We’re playing Go Fish! Wanna come play?” Erin called from the doorway.
The old woman smiled and placed her hand on the top of Erin’s head. “He’s out, honey. Why don’t you come in and dry off while you wait for him?”
The icy rain spilled over her cheeks and down the sides of her neck as she stood there, taking in Erin’s tiny, hopeful expression and the look of sympathy the old woman was giving her.
And suddenly her answer was clear.
“No, no thank you,” she said softly, hoping the woman could hear her over the din of the downpour. She forced a smile and waved a good-bye to Erin as she turned and quickly made her way back to her car.
Lauren started it up, clenching her jaw against the violent chattering of her teeth as well as the emotion she felt swelling up in her throat.
Michael had left work, picked up Erin, come home, dropped her off with the neighbor, and gone out. And she knew there was no way he hadn’t checked his voice mail somewhere in there.
He obviously didn’t want to talk to her. And there was no way she could bring herself to be waiting for him in his neighbor’s house, sopping wet and pathetic, knowing that was the case.
If he was angry now, Lauren thought as she drove mindlessly down the rain-soaked roads, she deserved it. After all, he had apologized, had owned fault, had essentially poured his heart out to her, only to be coldly turned away and ignored for the past two weeks.
By the time she pulled into her parking space, her tears had stopped, although she could distinctly feel the sting they left behind. Lauren exited the car and ducked her head against the unrelenting rain, watching as her feet spattered the puddles up over her shoes. She was completely soaked, but she couldn’t feel the cold anymore.
“Hey.”
Lauren whipped her head up as she sucked in a startled breath, coming to an immediate halt when she saw him. She blinked quickly against the raindrops that were assaulting her vision, but she knew she was seeing clearly.
He had his hood up, his head slightly ducked against the rain as he looked up at her. She watched his eyes drop to take in her appearance before making their way back to her face { display: block; text-indent: 0%; font-size: 0.88rem; margin-top: ou"> shoulder, and she realized how ridiculous she must have looked, drenched from head to toe with swollen bloodshot eyes and mascara running down her face.
Michael stuffed his hands in his pockets, his expression confused. “Where were you?”