BAD REP(125)

Alone with my less than pleasant thoughts and even worse feelings.  My phone rang beside me.  It was Motorhead's Ace of Spades, Jordan's ring tone.  I had laughed at the inside joke when he programmed it a few weeks ago, remembering how he liked to make my eardrums bleed with that particular song.  Now I just wanted it to stop.  I hit ignore and focused on the television.  The noise didn't penetrate and all I could do was obsess over tonight's meeting.

Riley came home a couple of hours later.  She tried to talk to me but I wasn't much up for conversation.  She quickly discovered I wasn't going to answer beyond monosyllabic responses. I got ready for the meeting with the grimness of someone going into battle.  Ace of Spades rang out a few more times.  But I continued to ignore it.  I would have to talk to Jordan eventually.  But right then I wasn't sure what I exactly wanted to say.

Part of me wanted to unload everything.  I knew he'd listen.  He'd hear me out without trying to give me ridiculous advice.  He'd be everything I needed him to be.  But I didn't really know what I actually needed him to be.

I didn't know anything.

Gracie and Vivian came and got me, just as they said they would.  Riley said something supportive but I didn't really hear her.  We drove to the meeting in silence.  Walking into the Chi Delta house was almost like the first time I went inside.  The nerves, the clammy hands, the apprehension.  But this time there wasn't the excited anxiousness and instead I just felt sick.

Gracie held my hand as we walked down the hallway and entered the chapter room.  It was already full of our sisters.  Everyone looked up when I came in.  The quiet murmur of voices quieted instantly and silence descended like a blanket.

Gracie and Vivian pulled me toward three seats at the end of the long table that took up most of the room.  At 7:32, Olivia hit the gavel and brought the meeting to order.  I watched her, refusing to look away.  No weakness.  I wouldn't show an inch.

“I originally called this meeting to talk about some issues around the fall Ball Blast.  But I think we need to table that discussion for another night.  Instead, we, as a sisterhood need to address some serious issues that have recently arisen.” Olivia said tightly as her eyes met mine.  I tried not to flinch at the outright hatred I saw there.

Olivia coughed and clasped her hands together in front of her on the table.  “Everyone is very aware of the...problems...that have come up between Maysie and myself.  I know this is creating a very decisive division between us.  This has gone on long enough.  A decision needs to be made in how we can handle this and move forward.”  My jaw clenched and I hated that our lives were playing out in front of everyone like this.  But like Olivia said, it was affecting everyone in this room.  So they had a say in how it went down.  As much as I hated that.

Gracie hadn't dropped her hand from mine and I felt her fingers tighten around mine.  Olivia took a deep breath and continued.  “I had hoped Maysie and I could resolve our differences.  That things could be handled with maturity and respect.” I wanted to laugh.  Was she serious?  But I could see how this would play out.  My role as villain was firmly planted in these girls' heads and that wouldn't change.  But damned if I would go down without a fight.

“This is sort of ugliness is unprecedented within the house.  I wasn't entirely sure how this should be dealt with, so I made a call to the national headquarters this afternoon and they advised that we needed to have this meeting and that everyone had a right to voice their concerns and grievances.  We need to deal with this like sisters.”  Olivia's malicious stare drilled through me and it took everything I had not to cower under it.

Milla stood up.  “As the vice-president, I'd like to start by saying I'm appalled at how everything has happened.  Sisterhood is supposed to matter to us.  I'm greatly troubled by the way certain individuals were so willing to disregard everything we stand for.  Trust has been broken.  And just like in any relationship, once that is destroyed it's hard to come back from that.”  I clenched my teeth.  Milla was playing her part well.  Even if could practically smell her hypocrisy.  Olivia nodded in agreement and I heard the other girls give their acquiescence.

Milla took a breath and looked at me.  Her face was somber but I could see the triumphant glee in her eyes.  This is what she wanted.  She was handing me my walking papers and she couldn't be happier to  be doing it.  “I feel that the source of this division, Maysie Ardin, needs to have her sisterhood stripped.  The bonds have been broken.  We cannot continue in this way anymore.  Maysie has turned her back on her sisters and Chi Delta.  There is no choice here,” she said with conviction.