BAD REP(122)

But I didn't register it as directed at me until I got up to the big bulletin board covering the wall.  Normally it held flyers for campus wide activities, help wanted ads, notices of people looking for roommates.  Not today.

Today there was an eleven by fourteen picture that I recognized with mortified clarity.  “Oh, shit,”  Gracie gasped as she took in the photograph.

“What the f*ck is that?”  Riley asked in horrified outrage.  That was the sight of my reputation, my popularity, my self-esteem going down the f*cking toilet.

The picture was one I hadn't known existed.  But I would have recognized it anywhere.  It was from my pledging days at Chi Delta.  We had been made to dress in our bathing suits and go from fraternity house to fraternity house where we were “rated” by the brothers.  It was a horribly demeaning form of hazing.  I had hated every minute of it and that was the one time during my pledging experience when I really contemplated dropping out.

The other girls had been just as miserable as I had been.  Gracie had broken down in tears.  The sisters had taken us out and gotten us plastered afterward and the whole thing had been laughed off.  But it hadn't been funny.  And now, here was the painful reminder.  You could see how unhappy I was in the picture.

But the worst part was the black rings drawn on the photo over my body.  Circles around my thighs, my stomach, my upper arms.  Beside them were numbers.  They were the rankings I had been given that night by the fraternities.  Four on my thighs.  Three on my stomach, which had always had a little more flab than I was comfortable with.  Five on my arms.  My boobs had a big two written across them.

Someone had scrawled in big, black letters underneath it; Her face and body might suck, but we hear from the guys she's a solid ten in the sack. Give her a call and take her for a spin.  Everyone else has.

Then my cell phone number was written boldly at the bottom.  I choked on the tears in the back of my throat.  I shoved forward, making my way through the other students standing there, laughing at that horrible picture.  Laughing at my utter humiliation.

I ripped the picture down and tore it in half.  One of the girls who was standing close by sneered at me.  “Doesn't matter, I've seen at least six other posters around campus.” She laughed before taking off with her friends, looking at me and whispering.

“Oh my god!” I cried, running out of the mail room.

“Maysie!  Stop!” Gracie yelled from behind me but I kept running.  I didn't stop until I got to the quad.  Then I sank down to the ground and I couldn't stop the tears rolling down my face.

Riley and Gracie finally caught up with me and they went down to the ground beside me.  “Maysie.  That was awful!”  Gracie said in a horrified voice.  I couldn't look at her.  I was so ashamed and embarrassed.  Riley snapped in front of my face.

“Damn it, Mays.  Don't you dare curl up into a ball and take this!  Screw those jerks!  Who cares what they think?!  I say we go find the rest of those posters and then track down whoever did this and rip them a new *,” Riley growled.

Gracie made a noise of discomfort.  “I'm not sure about the * ripping thing, but I definitely think we should find the rest of those posters,” she agreed.  She shared a look with Riley who was in full on militant mode.

“Come on, Maysie!” Riley said, getting to her feet and pulling on my hand.

I yanked my hand away.  “Just stop it!” I yelled.  Riley and Gracie stared at me and I could tell Riley wanted to shake me.  I held up my hand.  “I appreciate it, I really do.  But we tear the posters down and then what?”  I looked at Gracie.  “We know exactly who is responsible for this.”  Gracie's fisted her hands at her side.

“Those bitches,” she breathed out.

I shook my head.  “So yeah, let's go tear them down and they'll just find some other way to humiliate me.  Gracie, I really think I need to withdraw from Chi Delta,” I said firmly.  Riley was nodding as Gracie was shaking her head emphatically.

“This is freaking ridiculous!  You need to confront them!  They can't black ball you like this!  I think  you should file a complaint with the Panhellenic Council.  They can't get away with this!” Gracie fumed.  I felt the small flare of my self-righteous rage starting to simmer in my belly.  Gracie was right.  Fuck this shit.  I couldn't sit here crying in the grass while Olivia and Milla systematically ruined my life.  Enough was enough.