Alcohol You Later (38)

“Sounds great.”

I climb in on my side, spooning Ava’s little body against mine. I press a kiss to her forehead and smooth her hair back, humming “You are my Sunshine.”

I can’t help but smile at Lyle, swaying side to side with Alex cradled in his arms and humming the same tune. There’s a tug in my chest, a sadness creeping in because I wish it were Nick instead.

“He asleep?” Lyle whispers after a few minutes.

I lift my head from the pillow to scope the situation. “Passed out.”

Ava stirs when he rests his knee on the bed to transfer Alex onto Nick’s pillow.

“Shhhh. Shhh. Shhhh.” Just as she settles, Lyle slides his hand out from under Alex and the little boy bolts straight up, screaming.

“Okay. Okay, Little dude.” That angel of a man climbs in next to him, careful not to link any body parts that might wake him when he moves to leave again. “It’s okay, buddy. Go night night.”

The twins settle, softly humming along with Lyle. I can feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness, fighting my sleep. It isn’t until I hear their rhythmic snores that I allow myself to fully relax, giving in to some much-needed rest.

“What the hell’s going on in here?” For the second time today, I’m startled awake, this time to the sound of Nicholas’s voice rattling the windows.

“Huh?” I move to sit then remember Ava, still fast asleep in my arms. “Shhh,” I hiss, not yet fully absorbing the situation. I’m groggy and disoriented.

“Shit,” Lyle says, rolling out of the bed. “I’m late for rehearsal.”

“Rehearsal is about to be the least of your worries.” I bounce back to reality real quick when Nicholas grabs him by the front of his shirt and tosses him like a ragdoll from the room.

Nick’s seething, his chest heaving as he stares down at me with murder in his eyes.

“What the fuck, Ray?” He’s angry but sounds so broken at the same time. The little tremor in his voice almost makes me forget the conversation Korie and I had earlier and run straight into his arms.

Instead, I slip out of the bed, pushing him from the room, and close the door on the sleeping babies.

“Calm the hell down,” I growl. “We were putting the babies to bed and he fell asleep.”

He sucks his tongue to his teeth, clenching and unclenching his fists.

“He’s a fucking dead man.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“I just found you in my bed—the bed you refused to sleep in with me last night—with another man. A man who’s supposed to be one of my best fucking friends.” He kicks the box of diapers, sending them flying across the room. “So tell me…explain to me how the fuck I’m overreacting.”

“I can’t do this,” I say, throwing myself into picking up the Pampers. “You’re being absolutely ridiculous. He wasn’t even under the covers and your children were between us.”

“I thought…” he starts, trailing off.

“You thought what?”

“I thought we had something special, pretty girl.”

“Did you?” I snark. “Well, that’s news to me, friend.”

He winces. Pain flashes across his face, like I’ve just mortally wounded him.

Fucking hurts, doesn’t it, I think to myself as I absorb his reaction to that one fucking word—the same one he’s so carelessly hit me with time and time again.

“Fuck this.” He finally barks, snatching his wallet from the counter and stuffing it into his pocket, never once looking back before storming off the bus.

It takes every ounce of strength I possess not to chase after him. Not to beg his forgiveness and apologize, though I haven’t done a thing wrong.

When he hurts, I hurt. And right now, it feels as if I’ve been beaten to a bloody pulp. All I want is to make it better, for him and for me.

But my talk with Korie made me realize that I’ve been settling—giving all of myself in exchange for bits and pieces.

Real love is a two-way street, and if it isn’t real for both of us, I don’t want it.





Friend.

The bitter way she said it—her tone laced with piss and vinegar—pierced right through my chest, making it damn near impossible to breathe.

I fucking cherish our friendship like nothing else in my life, and she just spit that word at me like a curse—like something dirty. Wielded it like a weapon.

Oh, she wanted to hurt me. And that may just be the worst part.

The audacity—to use such a minor technicality as an excuse for being in my bed with my bandmate. I don’t give a shit if he wasn’t under the covers or who else was in there with them.

She’s mine.

No, we may not be a couple. But Raven knows what she means to me—how important our relationship is. Because I tell her. I tell her all the goddamned time.

I’ve always had enough respect for whatever the hell this is between us not to bring any other girls around her. Ever. I’ve never touched another female in her presence. Avoided advances from fans after the shows she attends out of consideration for her feelings.

Where’s my consideration?

I kick the back tire. Punch the side of the bus until my knuckles bleed. All it does is rile me up more. I feel like I’m going to combust from all the rage inside me.