Alcohol You Later (36)

“Good night, Nick.”

“Night, pretty girl.”





“Jesus, Raven, you look like you got into a fight with a wild boar and lost.”

I side-eye Korie through the widest slits I can manage with the swollen eyes I’m sporting this morning as she enters the bus. Ava didn’t go back down until nearly four in the morning, and Alex was up by six.

Fuck running on fumes, I’m coasting around on vapors.

“Yeah, thanks, bitch.” I give her a thorough onceover as she crouches on the floor in front of the couch where I’m seated to play with her niece and nephew. She’s pallid and thin. Don’t get me wrong, Korie’s always been on the slender side, but the girl is wasting away to skin and bones. “I’d love to say something smartass back, but I’m too concerned about all this weight you’re losing to joke about it. What’s the doctor saying?”

She raises one shoulder while combing Ava’s hair into a ponytail with her fingers and banding it with one of the ties around her wrist. “Baby’s fine. Growing just like it should.”

“And you?” I pull my feet up, tucking them under my thighs before wrapping myself in the afghan draped over the back of the couch. Now that I’m no longer alone, I can let myself get comfy. Couldn’t take the chance of falling asleep on these tiny terrorists. Who knows what they might’ve gotten into out here?

“I’m nearing the end of the first trimester—just a few more weeks. Doc says it usually gets better from there, so I’m just hangin’ in.”

“Sure hope it does.”

“You and me both, bestie.” She opens her huge bag and begins rifling through it, pulling out a few square lollipops. “Prego-pop?” she asks, already unwrapping and handing one to each of the babies.

I accept the grape candy, smiling as I watch her tap hers against Alex’s and then Ava’s, saying “cheers” to them. They mimic her tone but garble the actual word, and my heart swells with emotion.

“Thanks,” I say, stuffing the pop in my mouth, against my cheek.

“So…you gonna fill me in on what the heck’s been going on around here?”

I shrug, playing coy. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean, Nick’s never on his bus. I just had to deal with his moody ass for the entire two-hour drive from New Orleans to Baton Rouge.” She blows out a frustrated breath. “He was extra grumpy this morning.”

“Oh, I bet he was.” My lips stretch into a wry smile, one that has her cracking a grin of her own.

“Spill.”

“Let’s just say his balls are about as heavy as my eyelids.” I do a prideful dance, shimmying in my seat.

She snorts a laugh. “’Bout fucking time.”

“Puckin’ tye,” Ava says, clapping with the enthusiasm that only a toddler can muster.

“Oh, shit.” Korie smacks a hand over her own mouth, her eyes wide and shimmering with mirth.

“Shit,” Alex mimics. “Shit.” He climbs into the potty-mouth’s lap, putting his little pudgy hands on each of her cheeks and squishing them together. I nearly expire when he plants a big wet smooch right on her fish lips, looks her dead on, and repeats the profanity.

“Shit,” Ava joins in.

The next thing I know they’re twirling around the room together, cursing like two pint-sized pirates.

Korie widens her eyes at me, desperate for help. But I’m cackling so hard I’m about to pee on myself.

“No, no, no. Don’t say that.” The girl is in absolute hysterics as she does her best to scold them.

But she’s laughing. We’re both laughing, so naturally, they think it’s funny.

Let’s be honest—they aren’t wrong. It’s freaking hilarious. But it’s my job to teach them better.

“Not nice.” I wag a stern finger in their direction, still catching my breath.

“No nice?” Confusion appears in little wrinkles on Ava’s forehead. “I sowwy.” Her lower lip pokes out and starts to quiver.

“Oh my God.” Korie looks at them with gooey eyes. “Could they be any freaking cuter?”

“Not a chance,” I say, collapsing back onto my pillow.

I stare up at the blades of the ceiling fan whirring around and around while listening to the sweet sound of giggling toddlers, taking full advantage of the fact that, at least for now, I’m not the one tasked with entertaining them. My bestie is a natural.

My blinks start coming in slow motion, their voices drifting further away as I begin to lose consciousness.

“Ray.” Korie’s voice calls to me from a distance. “Raven!” A forceful shake has me jerking awake.

“Huh?” I say wiping drool from my cheek. “What happened?”

“You passed out on us.”

Us?

Oh, shit. The babies.

I jump to my feet in a panic, scouring the room until I find Ava and Alex finishing up their lunch. I smack a palm to my forehead. “I can’t believe I just fell asleep like that.”

All this time, I thought my experience in the classroom gave me an inkling of what it was like to be a parent.

It didn’t.

Parents don’t get the luxury of clocking out at 3:30. I’m going to be a terrible mother if I can’t manage even a full week as a nanny.