A Covert Affair (Deadly Ops #5)(28)

“No.” The immediate answer soothed something jagged clawing at her insides. Something she hadn’t been aware of.

A tense silence filled the air as they neared their destination. There were so many damn things she wanted to say to him. Mainly she wanted to tell him the truth about why she’d ended things. She’d been so young and afraid before. Afraid that he’d hate her or never look at her the same, but now . . . Well, right now certainly wasn’t the time, but she would tell him soon. And there were other things she wanted to say as well. “I went to Benita’s funeral,” she said quietly.

His hand jerked ever so slightly against the wheel. “You did?”

“Yeah. A lot of her friends showed up. She lived in that neighborhood forever.” Amelia smiled as she thought about sweet Benita, who’d baked for pretty much everyone in her small neighborhood at one time or another. Whether for birthdays or baby showers, she’d always shown up with baked goods in hand.

“I hated that I couldn’t be there.” There was a dose of self-loathing in his voice.

“Your parents told everyone you were overseas, and Benita would have understood. You know that. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.” What the hell was wrong with her? They both needed to be ready for their upcoming “show,” not drowning in memories.

“No, it’s nice to talk about her. She left me her house.” He pushed his sunglasses onto his head and shot her a quick glance as they pulled into the hotel’s entrance.

There was a line for valet and she found herself thankful they had to wait. She wanted to soak up all the extra time they had together when they weren’t playing a part, when it was just the two of them. “I’m not surprised. Did you sell it?”

“No, I rent it out. It’s a nice monthly income and . . .” He shrugged as he glanced at her. “I don’t think I could ever sell her place. It holds too many memories.” His eyes were full of heat and longing.

They’d shared their first kiss on his grandmother’s back porch. And a lot more in the bedroom he used when he’d stayed there. “Did you ever think about us over the years?” The words came out barely above a whisper. Her heart pounded against her chest, blood rushing in her ears, as she waited for him to answer. She shouldn’t have asked, because she wasn’t sure she could take the answer. Hell, she didn’t deserve one. Not after the way she’d ended things between them.

“All the fucking time, Amelia.” The words were guttural, raw, and so honest they sliced right through any barriers she’d managed to put between them. For just a moment she leaned forward. Maybe to kiss him, she wasn’t sure.

But a short horn blast from behind them made her jump. Nathan cursed under his breath and turned away from her as he pulled under the valet parking overhang. His jaw was tight as he put the car in park, his frustration clear.

Maybe it was just as well. Liar, her inner voice shouted. Amelia desperately wanted to kiss him again. And not a chaste brush of lips, but the real deal. Walking away from him had shredded her, but she’d wanted to feel pain. She’d felt so guilty all the time that she’d felt as if she deserved the pain. Now that she’d come to terms that what happened wasn’t her fault, she needed to tell Nathan everything. Later, though.

She put those thoughts on hold—though she was definitely coming back to them later—and forced a smile she didn’t feel as one of the valet employees opened her door.

It was showtime.





Chapter 7


Operational objectives: small steps or phases of an operation that lead to the success of the goal.





Nathan kept his hand at the small of Amelia’s back as a hostess led them to the outdoor patio seating. He’d chosen this hotel’s restaurant specifically. Mercado owned the hotel and was often here on Saturdays. Not something Amelia would know, though.

Mercado would likely guess Nathan, aka Miguel, had known, though. He’d see it as a subtle challenge. Which was exactly the point. Nathan might hate the idea of Amelia going to Mercado’s house for the op, and the truth was if he could convince her not to, he would. But if they could bring Mercado down, using Amelia as an in was the way to do it fast and easy. Because right now they had no fucking clue where the women had disappeared to.

It wasn’t as if his team wasn’t looking either. The missing women had simply vanished, fallen off the grid in a way that his team knew they’d been taken, and unfortunately he figured some were gone forever. Either dead or wishing they were. His gut twisted at the thought, and part of what he was feeling must have shown on his face, because the hostess jerked back when she looked at him and hurriedly set their menus down on the table before skittering off on impractical high heels.

“Is that fierce look how you attract the ladies?” Amelia asked in an amused voice as she sat. The tabletop was glass, so he got a great view of when she crossed her smooth, bronze legs.

“There’s only one woman I want.” She probably thought he was acting, but it was the truth. He pulled his chair closer to her, not because it was part of the op, but because he wanted to be close to her. Fuck, he wanted to be inside her. He wished he could hate her for the way she’d walked out of his life as if he meant nothing. Hell, even indifference would be better than this gut-clenching hunger he experienced every time he was near her. But deep down he knew there was a reason she’d ended things between them. She’d been too damn stubborn—that being the understatement of the century—to tell him what it was. It hadn’t mattered how much he’d asked—begged—her to tell him then, she’d flat-out refused. God, she’d been so cold too, nothing like the warm, fiery Amelia he’d known. Then her mom had fucking disappeared with her and he’d had no way to track her. In the end he figured it had been a good thing. At least then. He’d gone off to the Corps, and without social media or a way to talk to her, it had been easier for him to deal with the complete severing of their relationship.