12 Days of Forever(27)

We walk down the stairs to the basement and when he flips the light on, the studio comes to life.

“This is the magic room,” I say, staring into their recording room.

“Yeah, I guess. We’re getting ready to go on tour again. It’s big this time though. The kids won’t be able to join us until schools out.”

“No tutor?”

Liam shakes his head. “Noah plays baseball, and I don’t want him to miss it.”

“What about you missing his games?”

Liam pulls out a chair and sits down. “I’m torn, but this is my job. I’m not the only musician with kids, and they all make it work. I think it’s because I haven’t always been there that it’s more of a problem.”

“That’s not your fault.”

Liam’s crinkles his face. “I know, but it still hurts them when I leave.”

I lean against the wall and realize that Liam is probably a little bit like me. When I first met him I had a crush on him, but Harrison nipped that quickly. It didn’t take long before I saw Liam as a brother and not a love interest.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what’s up?” he leans on the desk, clasping his hands.

“Why did you leave?” I bite the inside of my cheek, afraid of what his reaction is going to be.

Liam rubs his hands over his face and sighs. “Everyone had this idea of what I was going to be and when I went to college, I realized that wasn’t who I was. I was too afraid to tell the people that I loved the most that I was unhappy. I was heading for the biggest drug-induced downward spiral without the drugs and just left everyone and everything behind.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t. Had I stayed, Josie and I probably wouldn’t be married. I’d likely be an accountant or a teacher, living in a run-down house and seeing my kid on the weekends. Things happened for a reason, and while yes, I missed ten years, I had to in order to find myself. I probably sound selfish and I don’t mean to be, but you can’t live your life by someone else’s dreams. They have to be your own and just because it was a dream at one point, doesn’t mean it’s your dream now. The beautiful thing about dreams is that they’re ever changing.”

The lights flicker, causing Liam to laugh. “It’s time for dinner, or linner – that’s what Noah calls it because we’re eating dinner at lunch time.”

Liam puts his arm around me and we walk up the stairs, bumping our shoulders into each other with each step we take. When we open the door, everyone is gathered around the table, including Xander. When he sees me, his smile is wide, but he keeps his head down. I know what he’s thinking about — his red cheeks give him away. It’s okay, though, because I’ve been thinking about it all day, too.

Once dinner is done, the kids open more presents. Watching Eden open hers is funny. She gets so excited for the box but doesn’t care about what’s inside. As I look around, I see my brother with his girlfriend, wife, his life partner and can see how happy they are. My other brothers, Liam and Jimmy, both married and with kids, are happy. Their smiles are genuine and not forced. I don’t know if this is something I can have or not, but I don’t see Oliver fitting in with my family, and this is what he wants. He wants a big family, holidays and birthday parties. I want it too, but I also want to be center stage.

Xander hands me an eggnog and tells me it’s adult flavored. This will calm my nerves for my flight later. I hate that I have rehearsals tomorrow and have a feeling Oliver did that so that I’d have to come right back. Sometimes I think he does things to be malicious so I can cry on his shoulder. I’m done with that though. I need to be able to stand on my own two feet.

The night beckons and all too soon, it’s time for me to leave. Xander offered to drive me to the airport so I say my goodbyes at Liam’s. I hug everyone and am surprised that Peyton is waiting for one.

“Thanks for my necklace,” she says as I pull away. I see the delicate silver chain hanging from her neck and my pride swells. I need to get to know these girls and be an aunt to them.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” I say, as I walk out the door and rush to Xander’s car. He’s already transferred my suitcase from Harrison’s to his. He and Harrison will return my rental for me tomorrow. I balked at first when Xander offered to take me, but the thought of having him for the ride to the airport would be worth it.