Wanted by Her Lost Love (Pregnancy & Passion #2)(35)

“I don’t have anything,” she confessed. “No baby clothing. No crib. Diapers. Oh God, I don’t even know what-all I need. I was always happy to just make it through another day in Houston. I never looked ahead. It was too overwhelming.”

He gathered her in his arms and held her as he ran his hand soothingly over her hair. “There’s no hurry, okay? I’ll send out for some parenting books and magazines and for the next few days, I want you to rest, put your feet up and do as much reading as you like. Make a list. We’ll look at stuff together. It’ll be fun. We still have plenty of time before she gets here.”

She squeezed him in a tight hug. “Thank you. I think you just prevented a meltdown. I feel so awful. I don’t even have any cute baby booties. What kind of mother am I going to be?” she asked mournfully.

He squeezed her back. “You’ll be a wonderful mom. You’ve had a lot to deal with. Cut yourself some slack, okay? Now why don’t you go take a long soaking bath and get ready for dinner?”

She reached up and pulled him down to kiss him. It was on the tip of her tongue to say she loved him, but she swallowed the words and kissed him again instead.

He kissed her back, lingering over her lips, savoring the taste and feel of her.

It shouldn’t make her feel so sad that she still loved him. But she couldn’t shake the heaviness from her chest as she pulled away and then got up and headed for the bathroom.

“I got a call from Rafael today,” Ryan said over dinner.

Kelly frowned. “How is he doing? I still can’t believe he got into a plane crash, lost his memory and then fell in love with a woman he completely screwed over for land.”

Ryan winced. “You make it sound so…”

She lifted an eyebrow. “Awful? I know he’s your friend, but he’s always been arrogant and a bit of a jerk. Especially toward women. He never liked me.”

“Rafe has changed. I know it sounds weird, but after his accident he did a one-eighty. Anyway, he and Bryony are back from their honeymoon and they’re coming into town in a few days to put his apartment on the market.”

“He’s moving?”

That shocked Kelly. Rafael was an urbanite through and through. He loved the city. Loved to travel. She couldn’t imagine him anywhere else.

“Yeah, he and Bryony are going to maintain a residence on Moon Island.”

“Wow. Rafael must really be in love.”

“Amazing what men in love will do for the women they love,” Ryan said softly.

Kelly didn’t meet his gaze and concentrated instead on her soup. Lobster bisque. After six months of bland diner food, she savored every bite. Her taste buds were all simultaneously orgasming.

She’d eaten more in the past week than she had in all those months in Houston, and she was going to balloon like a blowfish if she kept this up. She’d even closed her eyes when they’d weighed her at her doctor’s appointment the previous day, not wanting to know how much weight she’d gained.

“He wants us all to get together.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Define us.”

“Me, you, Dev and Cam and, of course, Rafael and Bryony. I also thought it would be good to invite Mom so you’d have the buffer of other people. We can get it over with in one clean sweep.”

It sounded like an evening from hell, not that she’d admit that to him. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than being surrounded by Ryan’s closest friends, who of course all had been told that she’d cheated on Ryan with Jarrod. She nearly bared her teeth in response to that thought. And then there was his darling mother. All the evening lacked was…Jarrod.

“And Jarrod?” she asked icily.

“He won’t be invited. I wouldn’t do that to you, Kell,” Ryan said quietly.

“When is this supposed to take place?”

“Next week. Probably at the end of the week. They’ll be busy organizing his apartment. We’ll eat at Tony’s. You like it there. It’s nice and casual. We can leave at any time and there won’t be any obligation to stay and visit.”

She sighed. She had to hand it to him. He was working hard to make things as easy for her as possible. The least she could do is be accommodating. His friends were important to him. His mother was important to him.

“All right,” she said in a low voice. “Of course we can go.” She forced a smile. “It’ll be nice to see everyone again.” She nearly choked on the lie, but the relief in Ryan’s eyes made it worth it.

He reached for her hands. “We’re going to make it this time, Kell.”

She caught his fingers and returned his squeeze. “It makes me feel better to know you think so.”

“Do you have doubts?”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. I’m scared witless. I’m scared to go out of your apartment,” she said honestly. “I don’t like the person I’ve become, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m a very different person than the Kelly you knew. I’m more cautious now. I’m…harder. I don’t like it about myself, but I’ve learned to be that way out of necessity.”

He took her hand in both of his and propped his elbows on the table as he stared over at her.

“Marry me.”