Wanted by Her Lost Love (Pregnancy & Passion #2)(32)

He closed his eyes. “That’s answer enough, I suppose.”

She shrugged. “You hated me, too.”

He shook his head and her eyes widened. “No? Ryan, you said and did some terrible things. Not the least of which was tossing that check at me with so much disdain that I can still remember the way I felt.”

“What did you expect?” he asked. “For God’s sake, Kelly, I’d just found out you slept with my brother. You had my ring on your finger, we were planning our wedding and you slept with my brother.”

“And of course he’s blameless in the whole thing,” she said scornfully. “Tell me, Ryan, how long did it take you to forgive him? How long before he was coming back over and you were having family dinners at your mother’s?”

His face flushed a dull red and then he dragged a hand raggedly through his hair. “It took a while, all right? I was furious with him—and you. I had to decide whether to allow what happened to ruin our relationship. He’s family. He’s my brother.”

She leaned forward, forgetting their vow not to dredge up the past. “And I was the woman you were supposed to marry, Ryan. Didn’t I deserve anything from you? Besides a payoff and a get-the-hell-out-of-my-life?”

“I’m here now,” he said quietly. “I was angry. I had a right to be. I won’t apologize for that. But I’m here now and I want us to try again. We both made mistakes.”

She had to let go of the resentment and anger that still bubbled up every time they spoke of the past. She had to put it away because there was no way for her to win.

She leaned back again and wiggled her foot in his hand to hint for him to continue his massage.

“So where are we going to drive tomorrow? Should I wear one of those scarves and huge sunglasses so I look chic?”

He relaxed, relief stark in his eyes that she was letting the matter drop.

“Wear that very sexy sundress that Jansen bought you.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Which one? He bought several.”

“Clearly you haven’t seen the one then. Or you’d know what I was talking about. It’s red. Perfect with your coloring. Strapless, clingy in all the right places. Just make sure to bring something to protect your head from the sun.”

“It sounds fun. Carefree,” she said wistfully. It had been far too long since she’d done anything remotely resembling carefree.

“I intend for us to have a lot of fun together again, Kell. We used to. We were happy.”

She had to acknowledge that they had been. Once. So she nodded and he smiled.

“Are you ready for bed yet?” he asked.

“Depends on what you have in mind,” she murmured.

A gleam entered his eyes and he slid his hands up her legs, stroking and caressing.

“Well, I sure wasn’t planning to go to sleep. Not for a good long while.”

“In that case, definitely take me to bed.”

He rose and then unexpectedly he reached down, slid his arms beneath her and lifted her up, cradling her against his chest.

“Ryan, put me down. I’m too heavy!”

He silenced her with a kiss. “A—you’re still a little bit of a thing. And B—are you suggesting I’m not manly enough to carry my woman around?”

She laughed. “Forget I said anything. Carry on then.”

Twelve

There weren’t enough words to explain how much she dreaded getting on that plane and flying back to New York. The past two days had had a dreamlike quality. They were like the best fantasy imaginable, unmarred by a single incident.

And now they were going back to reality.

Cold, gloomy New York City.

She hadn’t always felt that way about the city but now it only held bad memories for her. She wasn’t as optimistic as Ryan that they could somehow pull the pieces of their relationship back together and sustain it with so many factors against them.

As if sensing her reluctance, Ryan slid an arm around her waist and urged her onto the plane.

A few moments later, they were seated and Ryan reached over to buckle her seat belt for her.

“It’s going to be all right, Kell. Trust me.”

She wished it was that easy.

Still, she offered him a reassuring smile and settled back for the flight.

But it was Ryan who seemed to grow more tense as the flight neared its end. He touched her frequently, and at first she thought it was to ease her nerves, but she wondered now if it was to reassure himself.

Did he think she’d bolt and run as soon as they landed? She might be tempted but she’d given him her promise and she intended to keep it. Even if it killed her.

They hadn’t really talked about what would happen when they got back to New York. Maybe they’d both been too determined not to ruin their time on the island.

Once again when they landed, there was a car waiting for them, and Ryan hurried her out of the cold and into the warm confines of the vehicle.

A mixture of snow and sleet fell from gray skies and she shivered even though the heat was on full blast in the back of the car. It was a shock to leave sunshine and sandy beaches for the bitter chill of New York in the throes of a cold front.

The euphoria that had enveloped much of their stay on the island evaporated and depression settled over her until her mood matched the weather.