Wanted by Her Lost Love (Pregnancy & Passion #2)(30)

He took a deep breath because it was important to handle this just right. The last thing he wanted to do was screw everything up when he felt as if he was this close to having her where he wanted her.

“I think that’s up to you,” he said carefully. “I think I’ve been up front about what I want, about where I’d like to see our relationship. It’s time for you to decide if this is where you want to be. With me. I’m not saying we have to take a huge leap, but we can at least decide to be together so we can work things out.”

She visibly swallowed and he could see fear in her gaze again. It ate at his gut because he honestly didn’t know what scared her so bad. Was he such an ogre? Could she really blame him or hold against him the reaction he’d had to her being unfaithful?

“My mind tells me I’m an idiot for even considering this,” she muttered.

“What does your heart tell you?” he asked softly.

She sighed and stared helplessly back at him, her blue eyes churning with emotion.

“My heart tells me that I want this. No matter how much I think I shouldn’t want it, I do. Maybe this is a bad time to have a discussion about our relationship when our minds are mush after sex.”

He touched his finger to her lips. “I think it’s the perfect time to have it because our guards are down. It’s just us. No barriers. No walls. Just us and how we feel.”

“How do you feel, Ryan? Do you really want this?”

“Yeah, I do, Kell. I want it so damn much that the thought of you walking away has my gut in knots.”

Her eyes widened. “But I never walked away from you.”

He blew out his breath. “Let’s not talk about that, okay? Whatever happened in the past, the point is, I don’t want you to walk away now. I can’t stand the thought of it.”

“Okay,” she said so quietly he almost didn’t hear.

He reached out and nudged her chin up. “Okay?”

“I want to stay. I have no idea how we’ll work all this out, but I want to try.”

Satisfaction ripped through him, so savage that for a moment he couldn’t breathe. He had to temper his reaction because he wanted nothing more than to grab her, haul her into his arms and hold her so damn tight that she could never escape.

“We’ll do more than try,” he vowed. “We’re going to fix this, Kell. We’re going to make it work this time.”

Eleven

“She doesn’t give up, does she?” Kelly murmured as she watched Roberta approach their table, a determined expression on her face.

Ryan looked up and to his credit heaved a sigh and appeared to be extremely irritated with the impending interruption. After a morning and most of the afternoon in bed, they’d ventured out for dinner and now here was Roberta, circling like a hawk.

And it wasn’t that Kelly was jealous. Honestly, Roberta wasn’t Ryan’s type, though she supposed his type could have changed after he’d broken their engagement.

What bothered her was the seemingly public knowledge of their relationship. It just proved Kelly’s assertion that his family and friends alike loathed her. Something Ryan was finally coming to accept. But acceptance didn’t make anything easier.

While love was supposed to be “everything,” she wasn’t naive enough to think that relatives hating you didn’t put an unbearable strain on a relationship. Who could be happy when, at every turn, your lover’s family did everything they could to make their disapproval known?

Maybe they’d both been too naive the first time. Maybe now they could be stronger together. But then what would happen if and when Ryan finally knew the truth about Jarrod? And his mother’s part in the whole affair?

Once again, Kelly would be the wedge between him and his family. Their relationship might not survive a second time.

Roberta stopped at the table and bent to kiss Ryan on either cheek, but when he turned away, she caught him full on the lips, leaving a smear of lipstick.

Kelly sighed and sat back, resigned to another uncomfortable scene.

Ryan looked…pissed.

“Roberta, what the hell?”

He didn’t even try to be polite this time.

“Oh, I just came around to say goodbye. My flight leaves in the morning and I hoped we could set up a time to get together when you return to New York. Your mother would like us all to have dinner.”

She flicked a sideways look of disdain—and challenge—in Kelly’s direction, but Kelly purposely yawned and sent a bored look in return.

Roberta frowned but turned eagerly back to Ryan. “Shall we say this weekend perhaps? I’m sure Kelly wouldn’t mind. After all, you and I are old friends.”

“I mind,” Ryan said in a clipped voice. “Now if that’s all, we’d appreciate being left to our meal.”

“I’ll call you,” Roberta murmured. “We’ll talk…later.” The inference being they’d talk when Kelly wasn’t around. Was the woman stupid?

It was tempting to put her firmly in her place, but frankly it would take too much effort and Kelly was quite content to remain in her seat and watch Roberta stew in her own ignorance.

Roberta touched Ryan’s face in a gesture that repulsed Kelly then slid one long nail down his jaw before fluttering her fingers at him as she walked away.